0,1456888534,This could be very exciting, potentially. 1,1456890703,And then... no, I ran the wrong thing again! 2,1456894792,Wow, I just ate something weird. 3,1458179479,I'll crop it out in OBS. 4,1458179498,We'll just have a "bottom of the screen is not in view" day. 5,1458179976,I don't hear any beep boop... 6,1458182527,Let's start glancing at it, then I'll show you something cool. 7,1458183611,All bits are lit. 8,1462587818,I avoid them, like I avoid all STDs in real life. 9,1462588442,That's a little better. Whatever it's not gonna solve world peace. 10,1462588629,The type of a type is Type. 11,1462590019,It's just a carnival of lose. 12,1462591141,Sorry, I didn't eat enough cookies and my brain sugar is low. 13,1463204328,Whoever designed that would be fired from my company. 14,1463268250,I'm in Dear Esther all of a sudden. 15,1463298562,This battle required 3 times as much programming as the rest of the game. 16,1463378460,I'm going to make a farming game called "farming sucks" 17,1463799262,There's this thing in C++ called SFINAE, but it's banana nut balls. 18,1469404707,Sooo sub-optimal. 19,1469405119,It's easy to have weird notions. 20,1469405449,It's a problem, first of all, because it just doesn't work in windows. 21,1469406683,Shut up! shut up! I'm giving a presentation. 22,1469411010,You'll go bananas trying to deal with this problem. 23,1471918174,Nobody at microsoft can program at this point. 24,1471921061,That may just be me being stodgy and / or stubborn. 25,1471921675,I always have a Casey Muratori in my head somewhere. 26,1471922572,Let's do something crazy. 27,1472696823,It wants strings and it's trying to pass guys. 28,1472697582,C++ can't do this. But we can do that. We can totally do that. 29,1472698018,If you program like this... go work at Microsoft or something. 30,1479686400,Hope is amazing when you can have it. 31,1485039878,It works if we don't hit that bug. 32,1485044216,Maybe I spilled water all over the floor. That's definitely possible. 33,1485044924,I'm not gonna debate anybody about these topics. 34,1485060877,That's not even in the shader man, that's totally in the if statement. 35,1485062163,We still don't, to this day, know how to make things weigh the same as a duck. 36,1485065209,I need to not use concave symmetric pot. 37,1485124335,BOOM Headshot. 38,1485125065,If this were my game, you'd see this by looking out of the... Ah! 39,1485308848,Ouch, yeah. 40,1485309529,This is mostly for you guys. 41,1485310381,My teapot decides to keep the water boiling by default. 42,1485312664,They should call me Mr T because of all the tea I drink. 43,1485323002,Maybe it's time to blow this cheap taco stand. 44,1485414274,As soon as they put logo on duct tape, I will quit computing forever. 45,1485547522,If you guys don't know what "Hello, Sailor" is then you need to learn some video game history. 46,1485555546,This is gonna be like playing music, but we don't destroy other music. 47,1485556299,This is not a dancing stream. 48,1485580690,Am I stupid?! 49,1485580923,We see arguments. It's like seeing dead people, but different. 50,1485581049,Maybe that just works. That didn't just work. 51,1485673639,People who made open gl are assholes. 52,1485923737,I need more snack surface area. 53,1485992793,Let's get rid of that, that's more Windows floating around that we don't need. 54,1485994120,See I told you, I was being stupid. 55,1485994177,Svn commit -m "Dank." 56,1485994856,Y'all ready to try an experiment? 57,1486010259,Well it didn't work, and we can't debug it. So that's it. I quit programming now. 58,1486010365,This shouldn't be hard, why are you all assholes? 59,1486011098,I have some things to say to Mr. OpenGL, and they're not happy nice things. 60,1486011489,This is boring and stupid. 61,1486011510,The weights are all -1 which means the problem is that this shader doesn't even lift. 62,1486163614,Maybe I'm not killing it seriously enough. 63,1486193979,Ok, Going to explain it again.....NOPE, you got to re-watch it. 64,1486197907,Nobody's put the peanut butter in the chocolate very much. 65,1486269367,Isn't it neat how you can just make things by typing code? 66,1486275212,I learned Mips assembly in college. That's some good stuff. Sort of. 67,1486275864,You can't multiply in C++ because it is a pointer dereference. 68,1486277373,We are SO beyond compiler bug territory. We're past the thunderdome here. 69,1486329228,I don't like anything about what Microsoft are doing these days. 70,1486330424,Why are people backseat driving? 71,1486331489,Maybe I'm stupid all this week because I've been streaming so much. 72,1486332568,What the hell tea is this? 73,1486333861,I'm much happier programming in this language. 74,1486336941,This scrollbar will have explosions. I guarantee. 75,1486339044,We're trackin' 76,1486340296,Middle of the bar goes where we are. 77,1486340630,What is this game about? It's about pushing boxes. 78,1486342641,I should put this here. Because I'm stupid. 79,1486342718,Boy, I sure am getting a lot of quotes added lately. 80,1486342748,That's the problem with streaming, is that I say stuff and then it gets added to the quotes. 81,1486350546,The difference between bad software and good software is that in good software you go fix the problems. 82,1486354144,Swap = true, boom boom. 83,1486355149,This is what UI code is by the way, it's just a bunch of stuff. 84,1486355835,Hot dogs are pretty important but they're not as important as putting text into the copy buffer. 85,1486358628,That's just great when you try to repro something and then you just go Holy *** 86,1486358799,According to this, i'm doing really bad stuff all the time. 87,1486362211,Twitch is fascist. 88,1486362929,Dude Unicode is a disaster, I think it needs to be destroyed. 89,1486363169,Frog Fractions 2 should have had Fez 2 in it. That would have been quality. 90,1486363522,That's just communist. 91,1486363524,Why isn't it accepting 15 16? That's just communist. 92,1486363955,Look at that. We're better than emacs. 93,1486364795,I just see a bunch of crap here. 94,1486442252,Oh my god Becky. Look at that scroll. 95,1486442451,Sometimes I get bummed out about how my error messages aren't that good, and then I see this garbage. 96,1486442513,How do I have 94 quotes already? We were at like 40 last week. 97,1486442974,It's the Barack Obama scroll. Yes we can. ...No, if this were a Donald Trump scroll, we wouldn't have all that UTF-8 work we did, so you couldn't print Korean and stuff. We would be able to print Russian, though. 98,1486447247,We're getting nested here. 99,1486449334,You don't have to finish Stephen's Sausage Roll, you're just missing possibly the greatest puzzle game of all time. It's your choice, man. 100,1490470581,I feel kind of slow and stupid today. 101,1490474012,Dude, Photoshop sucks. 102,1490475638,If that doesn't make sense, then, well, learn some linear algebra cause it's cool. 103,1490477172,Sometimes things seem wrong but they're actually right. 104,1490477569,Being lazy is a little bit of a skillset sometimes. 105,1490477775,We want high resolution cute kittens. 106,1490478169,Something is broken, and I think it's OpenGL. 107,1490480340,Oh this is an enum, not a struct. DAUUHHH. 108,1490483936,I don't hate it. 109,1490483989,I just have no idea. I'm ready to just give up and throw all my computers out the window. 110,1490486003,This should definitely kill one of the dimensions. And it doesn't. 111,1490487999,I know! I know! I know! 112,1490488109,They're all at z=1. How is that even a good idea? 113,1490488606,I just shouldn't have streamed today, because I'm too stupid today, period. 114,1490490388,This is a little bit annoying, because we multiplied by our hack factor and stuff. 115,1490492054,This is a testament to how far you can get with something that is totally broken. 116,1490493797,I've given up trying to understand OpenGL. 117,1490495536,Change or remove a program... RenderDoc... Uninstall. Goodbye. 118,1494826362,The incoming bullets are weird... they don't feel that incoming. 119,1494828640,That was no Half-Life tram ride. 120,1494830373,Drinkin' some tea out of the toilet. 121,1494830551,I need a better anti-dude thing. 122,1494831995,I tend to want the game to start when I start playing the game. 123,1494917832,Doctor Yu... No, Doctor Me! 124,1495002674,Guys, if this is your game, it has to be better than this. 125,1495093372,Whoever designed this part of the game is fired. 126,1495094900,Gah, the interface! [shoots in-game computer screen with shotgun] 127,1495675226,It's been 25 years since I've used scheme... and that is intentional. 128,1495679496,You might say "7 instructions, that sounds like a lot", but it's way way less than taking a cache miss, bucko! 129,1495680745,If you use goto, you sign the warranty that you know what you're doing. 130,1495693464,If these robots were real animals, there'd be NO way I'd be sneaking around them. Fortunately, these robots run Linux. 131,1495849292,Here we got the big SAILOR. 132,1495853194,Don't get distracted. 133,1495853497,And the reason you'd do that is because "oh, maybe you'll bind something to the global namespace" but no, fu-- no... 134,1496455066,Why does the red top make my suspenders not be there? 135,1496458237,How do I jump out? That's communist. 136,1496632964,Covfefe is hiding in here. 137,1496722215,I like when a game doesn't put HUD crapplets. 138,1496722416,The guards all have shoddy bows. It's the new Benghazi. 139,1498431958,Now THAT is a commitable offence. 140,1498435237,Sometimes programming is just about reverting. 141,1498435709,Assert-Lambda! That's the name of my new band. 142,1498450026,That was weaksauce! That was the weakest sauce in the sauce-world. 143,1498531115,Structurally, that was just a tiny, benign tumor. 144,1499652563,There's no weird constructor juice. 145,1500526185,The key is to let the people who make the content do most of the work. 146,1500531721,What are ScriptableObjects? Is that a Unity thing? Are you seriously asking me about a Unity thing? 147,1500534058,Okay. When we re-pointering... 148,1500535609,Svn commit -m "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?????!??!?!?!?" 149,1500536111,Microsoft has no respect for anything. 150,1500602053,I already don't necessarily like this. 151,1500666054,It's time to just quit game programming and play Knack. 152,1500694290,[Casey] I bought Youtube Red for that reason too. [Jon] I bought Redtube for that reason too. 153,1500698048,Your microaggressions disturb me. 154,1500698324,I liked The Witness. That was pretty good. 155,1500701183,More like Steam Early Poopcess. 156,1500701466,The ghost is levying microaggressions at me. 157,1500701651,I am an influencer of poopdogs. Poopfluencer. It's like Neuromancer. 158,1500763167,That was some advanced computer science right there. 159,1500858287,Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he didn't want to get shot. 160,1500864907,That's 2 for 2, by the way, for car flips. 161,1500866098,Yeah. Let's play again and not die. 162,1500867486,This car steers like a cow. 163,1500869565,Those cheap European cars *car does a flip* 164,1500872112,Okay, there's not gonna be a car in this swamp. 165,1500879792,I don't know what left is. 166,1500880235,Every life matters. [Runs over an enemy player] 167,1500883038,It's a pretty janky game technically, but sometimes, games succeed despite their problems. 168,1500934435,If you want to go from a typical programmer to a good programmer, the most important thing to learn is weighing costs vs benefits. 169,1500937323,Hey Hummus, did you win Stephen's Sausage Roll yet? Or are you a loser? 170,1500950280,Hey, thanks for the resub, buddy412! 171,1500951227,Bye, stream channel watchers! 172,1500965334,Just don't get hit and shoot people. 173,1500965620,[Jon] You don't look particularly hidden right now. [tek256] I'm in the shadows, I--Oh god! [gunshots] 174,1500968694,Man, who lives in this purple building? This is Prince's house. 175,1500973622,Donald Trump wants me to use the M16. 176,1500973821,[Devon] I'm at peak manifestation right now. 177,1501039164,At 9:00 I'll probably do a snack run to Whole Foods so I don't starve tonight. 178,1501039462,[Casey] I regret to inform the academy that I still do not have a firearm. 179,1501040966,[Casey] I am literally stuck in a fucking pool. 180,1501047913,If you win, you get a copy of my painter game prototype. 181,1501050183,[Casey] It's an unsolved problem in computer science to know whether or not you can see somebody. 182,1501051934,There is a thing called criminal negligence. 183,1501053029,[Casey] You know, I just realized crossbow spoonerizes to boss crow. 184,1501059700,I'll take 9 mil. I could make a substantial game with 9 mil. 185,1501060570,Remember to like and subscribe. Thanks for the 12-month resub, Joe53! 186,1501120379,Be willing to do something seven times in order to get it right, and that'll make you a really good programmer. 187,1501138922,That's pretty good! 188,1501178570,We have come to the time where "later" is now. 189,1501180577,How does anything work? 190,1501181458,I'm really sorry for anyone who came along and wanted a coherent stream. 191,1501198185,Let's nojobs it. 192,1501199286,You have to make sure your thing is good, so you know it's worth people's time. 193,1501227095,How do you go to a place like this and not have awesome caves? 194,1501230472,"is this a gun that shoots bullets?" - Casey, 27.7.17. 195,1501393487,Sometimes, cars don't always stay on their wheels, is all I'm saying. 196,1501393800,I'm gonna dead. I'm dead. 197,1501727256,This is the tax you pay for working in OpenGL. 198,1501727467,This is just a horrible paste-orama. 199,1501728029,As far as I'm concerned, it's a little bit of an unsolved problem in computing. 200,1501730991,Life is rough. 201,1501813278,I'm gonna tell whoever's working on Sokoban to fix that. 202,1501816961,Why do I have a preference for right-handed coordinates? Because they're better. 203,1501902999,NaN creeps me out. 204,1501908765,I just spilled tea on myself, which means it's time to end. 205,1502112001,So the problem with making teas: you think about something and then you forget it! 206,1502115719,That is good action, if I may say so. Take that, PowerPoint! 207,1502115731,We're writing so many programs, we don't even know which one has to run now. 208,1502138855,That is worth some chocolate. If I program well I get fat, so that's ok. 209,1502139235,If I can continually become a better programmer, then getting fat is a small price to pay. 210,1502159546,Gggnaaah! I don't care it's a TV show 211,1502159848,Is somebody doubting that I do things in a quality way? What kind of people are you? 212,1502164871,It's gamma'd wrong again. 213,1502198172,It's all working, I could swear I'm not joking. 214,1502247817,I don't know how much to care about that right now. 215,1502370988,I'm havin' a good time programming reasonably clean things, and I just don't wanna descend into that horrible place. 216,1502473483,OMG... It worked! Oh, the language is gettin' good. 217,1502492784,Thanks Microsoft, for this... program that I payed thousands of dollars for. 218,1502493078,It says "one return value received", which I disagree with. 219,1502493634,Oh god!... Alright guys, this is gonna be brutal. 220,1502541236,Every time somebody asks why I'm using SVN, I die a little bit inside. Because it should be obvious. 221,1502541256,Kinda like JavaScript except, unlike JavaScript, we're not pretending to be a real programming language, so that's ok. 222,1502541270,JavaScript is basically the worst thing that's happened to computers. Ever. 223,1502541425,That is too lousy. Even I will not do that! 224,1502546017,Whoops! I'm makin' all kind of typos. 225,1502624148,Microsoft has no respect for anything. 226,1502626124,Most people are not self-critical and reality-based. 227,1502682709,This is worth getting killed for right here. 228,1502686893,It's beyond redonkadonk. Which is even farther than Beyond Zork. 229,1502822179,Believe me: there's no end to compiler bugs. 230,1502882178,Oh god... Wow! You know, I'm tempted to just erase this all stream and pretend it never happened and start over tomorrow. 231,1502882544,Hey! Ok, we're back to the Land of Sanity. 232,1502882972,I don't see any questions in the chat. I guess that's because my amazing, error-free, daffed programming skills have been too quick for everybody so far, that's ok. *laughs* 233,1502885819,DOLLAR_SIGN... The things I do to get indentation. 234,1502918562,Someone call Sony, I'm making Knack 3. This is the best Knack! 235,1502919240,svn commit -m "Started implementing Knack 3 for the $$$$$$ franchise MEGABUX" 236,1502919614,Given the state of videogame journalism these days, I wouldn't be surprised if some announcement actually happens that I'm working on Knack 3. I don't wanna cause trouble. *laughs* 237,1502923563,People are talking about Netflix in the chat, so obviously what I'm doing is compelling. Nobody in the chat cares about programming, that's fine. 238,1502925819,Trying to program in OpenGL is like if you were a Microsoft first-year summer intern and they made you program in Visual F##+++ for Office Team System One and with a Visual Basic++ plugin and you had to program for UWP and everything was just awesome. 239,1503042953,Well, welcome to OpenGL. 240,1503075909,Rotate your phone bro! ;) 241,1503098316,Oh boy! There were earlier changes that I didn't check in. Well... They're checked in now! 242,1503789597,The amount of idea that I have is zero 243,1505713853,We're just gonna die, it's fine. 244,1506303308,I potato'd on him! 245,1506315784,Sometimes people just want to make decisions that are not the best life decisions and you have to respect that. 246,1506874695,I'm gonna write this down then I'll think about what to think about them 247,1507094980,Java is designed to be a boring programming language. 248,1507143377,I can almost guarantee that there's going to be more problems, but it's lunch time, so... 249,1508041044,I felt the micro-aggression involved in the statement 250,1509251824,Windows has NEVER found a solution to the problem. 251,1509252541,There's some basic bug. 252,1509254513,Who doesn't want to get off Emacs? It's terrible. 253,1511766136,Not a long enough length to do what I'm doing with it. 254,1511854616,Maybe if I run it a lot of times it'll work. 255,1511904503,I'm super confused. I haven't had my tea yet. 256,1511904608,Wait, I made the wrong kind of tea! It's a disaster. 257,1511913241,Okay, that's good. Its wrong the same, both times. 258,1511915192,I'm going insane. I'm as insane as a Linux person deploying a containerized application. 259,1512285903,I wasn't in the mood for a bug this hard today. 260,1512537674,AHHHH EGGS! I hate you, eggs. 261,1513999423,Ow! Stop it, routine chickens! 262,1514000030,78 people watching? Okay, I'll try to be less grouchy. It's easy to be grouchy when I'm playing videogames! 263,1514013166,It's Portal. 264,1514167624,I missed the wall 265,1514177157,Maybe you guys just don't like sausages enough? 266,1514181125,I'm smoking crack. 267,1514181656,I need to earn some blocks by watching ads. 268,1514243139,I have very finely honed coconut detection 269,1514262313,I guess I should get a lot better at dodging rocks. 270,1514262786,Why is this the game that I'm playing? 271,1515212874,Sometimes we break things. 272,1515213219,The reason atomics are templates in C++ is because C++ went insane. 273,1515213453,Parsers aren't hard. 274,1515213753,[Casey] Pube-g is happening. 275,1515270509,Yeah, the chat is not some beacon of intellectual amazingness. 276,1515284515,I don't consider myself indie. I consider myself a videogame art person. 277,1515295557,Aw, I blued myself again! 278,1515556934,I just had to set the bozo bit on a couple of people and stop replying to them. 279,1515557802,If you look on Wikipedia at the graph somebody made of all the Linux forks over time, you just look at that and say, "What a giant waste of effort." 280,1515559497,The fuck is this?? Get-- ughhhhhhhh, Team Explorer... 281,1515813613,'Does this guy ever interact with chat?' Thanks for the 12-month resub, ResonatorGames! 282,1515818044,We're not doing foofoo softie stuff. 283,1515818620,Engineering is about understanding what's going on. 284,1515820090,Metaprogramming is the future and it solves all our problems, because going meta is always better! 285,1515977968,There's a fine art of not getting sidetracked too far from what you're working on. 286,1515978948,Graphics programming is just a giant disaster. It's so terrible. I'm sorry. 287,1515979458,Hey look, I can't see anything! That's great! 288,1515979555,Okay, so... Let's do a hack. 289,1515982091,This is by far not the fastest way to do this, BUT WHO CARES?!?!?!?!? 290,1515983019,I can do this with a superhack. 291,1515991440,Somebody needs to throw Windows off a cliff. 292,1515991469,Somebody needs to throw Windows off of a really high cliff, into hot lava. 293,1515992637,I don't think I like Time Spy, honestly. 294,1515993345,It's like I'm using Linux here. 295,1516060385,'Searching for file contents could be slow?' You just advertised to me that you were the fastest-- ...Software is so hopeless. 296,1516061473,Security is our #374 problem. 297,1516065510,Sometimes, monkey debugging is the best debugging. 298,1516066300,You may ask yourself, "where did my shadowmap go?" 299,1516066574,Did I change something that fixed something, or is it just a bug? 300,1516257586,They keep changing Photoshop, and it doesn't... work. 301,1517089928,I'm trying to learn the controls and you cutscene'd my ass. 302,1517091850,Dude, Mickey Mouse is going to be public domain in two years 303,1517106366,Whoever animated that didn't know anything about... anything. 304,1517107014,I totally potatoed on that guy. 305,1517107412,I'm checking poopy butthole 306,1517114612,Bye, twitch dot tv slash viewers! 307,1517197009,If he shot through the wall, that's kind of offensive, honestly. 308,1517199877,Don't PUBG me here. Don't PUBG me here!! 309,1517214102,Shit, he's here! Banana Man! 310,1517214894,[Chris] Someone's trying to, uh... kill you, I guess. 311,1517383500,I want to get practice at winning. 312,1517386463,We have different definitions of the word "works". 313,1517704271,Polymorph matching just broke. 314,1517707795,Now K has a binding, mofo! 315,1517710531,That is a failure of the first order, and I don't mean Star Wars. 316,1517711133,One does not simply copy a syntax tree. 317,1517711663,You know, sometimes you just can't run rc.exe. And you need to do some gaming. 318,1517733857,He's behind the barrier with all the bullet holes in it. 319,1517740596,Wait, wanted gave us nothing but given gave us something! 320,1517742189,So type of some type dot best friend should be guy, and we should be matching that against dummy... 321,1517779776,I literally don't know how this is possible. 322,1517780947,What was I smoking last night? [...] I was smoking the right thing, apparently. 323,1517781116,This is what happens when I don't sleep enough before superstream Sunday. 324,1517785268,We have problems. 325,1517786102,The C++ standards committee is not reality-based. 326,1517790073,Why don't you tell me what capability? Because you don't give a shit, because you don't care that people can't use your API. 327,1517790092,Captain America is not supported in the current profile. 328,1517792881,Everybody is fired. F-I-R-E-D. 329,1517793115,This is a fully mental ... insaino ... crazy disaster. 330,1517795714,That's a very "Russian pencil on the spaceship" kind of solution. 331,1517795896,What are all of these windows? Let's get rid of these things... 332,1517806361,What did we learn? We learned that system is a disaster in windows and you shouldn't use it. 333,1517807211,I'm doing forensic science to figure out how to create a fucking process. 334,1517807260,Why am I wasting my life doing this? 335,1517807279,If I allowed myself to be angry I would be so angry right now. 336,1517814477,I should've done better. 337,1517931991,oh that's it, I see what I'm sayin' 338,1517932869,C ... Windows ... System32 ... Notepad! I should've guessed, it's not a program, it's notepad! 339,1517933362,When you screw up an API like this, Everybody pays for it for a long time FOREVER. 340,1517935017,It's a small difference but it's a big difference, see? 341,1518158378,You don't know exactly what a game is when you start it. 342,1518159806,Linkers are dogbutt slow. 343,1518208356,UltraSearch is so ultra, that it's beyond the need to case-sensitively search. 344,1518214272,What a garbage. 345,1518214518,We're getting rid of the A's~ 346,1518291057,When you cross off an item on your todo list, you want it to feel good. 347,1518291214,I'm gonna write pens on my todo list... "Pens that feel better when you cross things out." 348,1518391642,You will respect my velocity! 349,1518391763,That didn't actually fix anything. But it was wrong! 350,1518424784,Who knows what the hell "decibels" means? I still don't know. I know what they mean but I still don't know what they mean. 351,1518425749,Q: "How much would I have to pay for you to program The Witness in Java?" A: Ahh... 9000 Decibels 352,1518499432,Let's just keep makin dudes, we know how to party here. 353,1518500375,I have this Notch here, so that's handy. 354,1518750986,wow i was really on drugs when i did this 355,1518751851,well isnt that amazing look at oh fuck 356,1518752178,This is a hack. I admit it. 357,1522551669,I tend not to watch stuff about me because it's weird. 358,1522551710,How are there 357 quotes? That's too many. 359,1522554645,I'm like 3 problems deep at this point. But you know what, it's okay. I'm learning. 360,1522554749,The Mozart candy made my brain start to work. 361,1522558209,I can't believe we're in 2018 and I'm still spilling tea on my shirt. 362,1522559976,I wish I could enhance Windows, really. 363,1523733996,THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO!!! 364,1523736953,[Casey] We haven't even been given a goal, and we already have more items than a Costco. 365,1526028293,I want all backends to get this benefit. 366,1526028327,This is what happens when people other than me work on things. 367,1526029753,Premature optimization is the root of all blah blah blah. 368,1526707117,Go down the tube? I tried to go down the tube. I doesn't go anywhere! 369,1527278824,Lambda is the snooty functional programming name for procedure. 370,1527284331,Whoa, there's really not that many compiler errors left. We may soon be close to the time when we get to run it and watch it crash because I did something horribly wrong. 371,1527284670,Now we watch this die horribly. 372,1527291563,Decibels are a useless, dumb thing that I don't uderstand why anybody measures things that way. It's my number one pet peeve in life. 373,1527295998,It's inferred, bro. 374,1527297264,That would be a bug, but it would be one that I don't want to fix right now. 375,1527300371,I've been using Visual Studio since 1996. 22 years. It's pretty sad. 376,1527300554,It's like a freshman web designer intern making a mistake, and they just keep doing it. 377,1527305707,The reason I don't have much hair right now is OpenGL. 378,1527306442,You would be donating in decibels, obviously. In gamma-corrected decibels. 379,1527306593,Patches welcome! 380,1527311554,There's different kinds of programmers. There are programmers who don't really know how anything works, and who just can write glue code and high level things that ask for things to happen and then they hope they happen. And then there's programmers who know how things work and can make stuff from first principles. Those second kinds of programmers are a lot more powerful. 381,1527313878,What the hell were people doing in here? 382,1527314174,Well, it'll just be broken until next time. 383,1527314625,I'm going to take the drinks I bought out of the freezer before they turn into exploding ice blocks. 384,1527314919,it's a webpage! of course it doesn't work! 385,1527345326,Compiling in one second is pretty good, but you know we have standards here. 386,1527347669,I don't know what false means, but it means something. 387,1527348103,Those are yesterday's breakpoints! 388,1527362492,You don't get a car! And you don't get a car! And you don't get a car! 389,1527362784,I bet there's a woman in England somewhere named Constance Block [...] she's the patron saint of this program. 390,1527363254,Maybe we're seeing the constance block a little too much, and we want to keep the relationship at a distance. 391,1527363410,This is gnarly enough that I'm gonna put a thing here called @Gnarly 392,1527366094,We're down to 10300 lines in this file, one day it might be below ten thousand again. 393,1527368443,Thinking about continuation passing was fun back when I was a Scheme fanboy. 394,1527369100,*crash* Oh, there goes the eye tracker. 395,1527369624,Go go gadget thinger. 396,1527371359,Visual Studio hates programmers 397,1527371973,Yeah, don't read Hacker News about productivity. It's not a good source. 398,1527372391,One's got 2000 dependencies? Bro! Who's that? 399,1527469671,I tried to sign up for Twitch affiliate but the webpage kept rejecting me because of a bug. 400,1527469675,Mistakes were made. I'm not saying by whom, I'm just saying mistakes are made. Certain kinds of people say "You know, there isn't really anything objectively right." Maybe I like it if my compiler just crashes. That's just my lived experience. 401,1527469679,A lot of people would ask, "Why are you not using templates for this," and the answer is... bleehh. 402,1527469683,Have you ever heard of programming? It's this thing where sometimes you say while (1). 403,1527469686,Stack Overflow is saying "use std::hash". Yeah, bite me. I'm just gonna mod it by a prime number. 404,1527469689,People are like "Oh, just add this feature it'll be fine," but actually, features are complicated! 405,1527469691,I just turned the rant meter up to 10, and I'll burn out the rant batteries if I start talking about the Web. 406,1527469693,I read Hacker News sometimes when I'm depressed and unmotivated and then I read a bunch of dumb things and regret going on Hacker News. 407,1527469695,Walk the walk or stop talking the talk. 408,1527469697,Windows 10 is getting worse and worse. It's a better time now to displace Windows than any other time in history. 409,1527472408,Someone in chat mentioned reinventing the wheel? Oh boy I have a whole rant on reinventing the wheel. 410,1527556900,We're gonna keep pushing it til it breaks, because I'm pretty sure I know how to break it. 411,1527557181,You didn't need to type bracket T typename fuckity fuck for every single one. 412,1527557376,Our gnusto doesn't work. 413,1527560711,Against my better judgement, I'm having tea with caffeine at 7 PM. 414,1527562296,How is them apples? Them apples, in my opinion, is better than the NHL finals. 415,1527562583,How complete is the langauge on a scale of 0 to 100%? -463 + 115i + 3.1j + 2e17k. 416,1527562759,What do you think wires are? They're tubes with electrons going through them. Your connection to the Internet is a series of tubes, that's just how it is. 417,1527563012,You have a certain limited band of frequencies, and if you put waves that exceed the Nyquist limit, then nobody's gonna be able to decode it. That's what bandwidth is: it's the fact that your connection is a TUBE. 418,1527565812,FizzBuzz is the brown M&Ms of programming. 419,1527567000,When I look at gamedev it kinda sucks. 420,1527641827,Given that it's 35 megabytes, it better have a linker in there somewhere. 421,1527641863,Nevermind! My entire rant was misplaced. 422,1527641939,I don't really drink beer...maybe sometimes I should, it might help me deal with this sort of thing 423,1527642518,We're only missing our entire program that we actually want. 424,1527644627,We're in full on computer disaster right now. 425,1527644670,This is making me mad. Who did this? 426,1527645086,This is what happens when you design your APIs to assume spaces are not a thing. 427,1527645998,To all of you saying "oh just stop complaining and read the documentation it's fine"... do you make good things? 428,1527646567,When did Google get so crappy? 429,1527646802,I'm getting flashbacks to college when I would spend entire 8 hour sessions late at night dealing with %PATH% problems. 430,1527649754,That appears to have worked... Ship it! 431,1527652396,Dude, I don't even want to decode this with my brain to figure out what you're doing. 432,1527652569,It's not as robust, but it makes me not hate myself. 433,1527653443,There's no reason that computers don't work that way by default, except that... people... do bad things. 434,1527655565,This is a super-garbage right now, by the way. This is a massive garbage. 435,1527656078,Oh my god, I'm gonna punch somebody who works at Microsoft. I'm gonna punch Bill Gates, AND Steve Ballmer, AND Satya... whatever that guy's name is. ...Satya Nadella. 436,1527657107,Ghchildstrinrd... Ghchildstrinwr... 437,1527660870,Summer intern doesn't even test their code. 438,1527744804,Let's not give in to the tired and lazy. 439,1527746726,This is counter to my entire personality. 440,1527748375,I've vacillated on this several times, and we're gonna make it 32-bit. 441,1527748894,That's how much I hate computers. 442,1527749734,If I don't do this right, programs crash. 443,1527750867,Why are people working on things? 444,1527751195,I'm sorry, if you're working in Unity, you're not doing the Dark Souls of programming. You're doing, like, the I Wanna Be The Guy of programming, but the Dark Souls of programming is something different. 445,1527784417,It's not in Lua. Our standards have fallen so low. 446,1527823271,I have a $4000 computer, faster than any other computer in history, and we can't display text of all colors. 447,1527823316,I'm now calling this the Christmas Programming Language. 448,1527823714,Psychic debugging, folks. 449,1527823855,"Buy me coffee." That's... presumptuous. 450,1527915998,"Semicolon expected after a declaration" is the name of my new band. 451,1527916316,We're making the program so much better by putting semicolons in. 453,1527916511,The game's going to run so much faster with all these semicolons. It's going to be awesome! 454,1527916767,Yeah, that's just bad juju if we crash. 455,1527917384,Dammit, why do people do work?!? 456,1527921266,Game of Throwbacks. 457,1527923417,// Ignacio did not implement this so now he is going to be sorry. 458,1527923846,Any time you can get rid of 0.025% of the compiler, that is a good day. 459,1527959105,...and we will start programming, instead of this question and answer nonsense 460,1527959490,More cryptic is less cryptic sometimes. 461,1527959566,"Lexical Extent" is the name of my new band. 462,1527966145,1080P MY ASS 463,1527986786,GAAHH, Visual Studio just jumped on my butt. 464,1527988390,I do not accept Venezuelan chavismos. 465,1527988837,To get into the game industry you need to be good at C++... But, you'd be surprised. 466,1528252568,The Unicode people are crazy. 467,1528253094,I think a little bit of syntactic highlighting is useful, but the fruit salad that most editors put up is not useful. 468,1528254481,I don't want to break what isn't broken. 469,1528255955,Yeah, this is kinda stinky. 470,1528256244,String interpolation? We don't do that because... *sighhh*... Lots of reasons. 471,1528257132,I have no problem spending months of work on something then taking it out later... In my opinion that's part of how you make things good. 472,1528401675,When I try to undo nothing happens! Oh my god! It's just like all those games that don't have undo! 473,1528409511,It's like chewing glass for months. 474,1528584904,I don't know if the pickle armor is better than non-pickle 475,1529383523,I don't know why. I sorta know why. 476,1529386590,Why do diamonds roll so much? I don't know... 477,1529570230,Let's go find some diamonds! 478,1529570869,Look at all those diamonds we have! 479,1529573673,How high do I have to be in order to go around that damn obstacle? 480,1529823431,Am I completely out of water? Or just mostly out of water? 481,1531987227,Yeah, decibels are worse than the Web. Except that, the web is more pervasive, so yeah. 482,1531989182,A minimalist puzzle game. Nobody's gonna buy this. 483,1531989226,Yeah, minimalist is not a good excuse for "I didn't work very hard on this." 484,1531990105,this guy has zero viewers. No camera, no audio... But, y'know! 485,1532498577,Don't assume you should be motivated. If you're not motivated you should be finding something you can be motivated about. 486,1532717054,My food dude is 2 minutes away. 487,1532839461,The name of this engine is The Super Amazing Brilliant Better-Than-Unity/Godot Master Amazo Engine. 488,1532842067,You have to understand that there are a lot of programming subcultures, and they all call the same set of 5 ideas 17 different things. 489,1532843499,I used to program in INTERCAL, back before these weak-ass languages that they have today. 490,1532843702,"COMEFROM is your favourite programming joke ever," EXCEPT... C++ has come-from in it. Non-ironically. And people think it's useful and use it all the time. 491,1532926358,Blue rocks can be good news. 492,1533015326,Predictably, there is not enough salt on these cashews. Five years from now, when people understand that salt has nothing to do with high blood pressure and heart disease, everyone will be sad for all the bland food they ate for all those years. 493,1533018577,Ocean Map, take me by the hap, don't you understap... 494,1533020197,Windows Update Facilitation Service... Startup type: Disabled. Access is denied?? "I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that." 495,1533020746,If anyone in chat works for Microsoft, just quit. Stop watching, you're not allowed to watch the stream. Log off now. Just don't watch Twitch at all, go watch Mixer. 496,1533021991,The fact that they're so aggressive about it and they prevent you from stopping it, it is literally insane. The cost to the world of those machines rebooting all the time is higher than whatever security you get from being so strict about it. It is literally pompous and insane and totally out of line. Bizzarely, insanely megalomaniacally out of line. And they get away with it because people put up with it, so I dunno. I guess the world is just gonna end. 497,1533022426,There sure is a lot of anime porn stuff on Creative. 498,1533358357,Charlie took a lot of drugs. 499,1533360716,The bat is so unlocked. 500,1533362425,What happens when you take an action platformer and you subtract level design, and the levels are just... stuff? (Which is what Metroid is, by the way.) 501,1533363146,What is your objective argument that red is a nice color? 502,1533866338,I should read the instructions. 503,1533867839,I'm still not exapunking. 504,1533867892,Okay, I know how to really exapunk this. You guys wanna watch me exapunk this? 505,1533870471,Alright, that is not a correct exapunking. 506,1533870812,Somebody has a way exapunkier solution. 507,1533886052,This is game development, people. This is how the sausage gets made. I hope you understand how much effort is going into this. 508,1533886212,We've already won at game development. 509,1533957549,This is a millennial game where it doesn't want to show you how bad you are compared to the world. 510,1534142607,At times like this when the going gets tough... the going gets more solar panels. 511,1535170593,This is what hell is like. No Exit was written like 40 years too early. 512,1535177963,I don't need to play that. 513,1535178291,Hey look, they have portals that look like the portals from Portal. 514,1535335406,I don't know. These are the hard problems in programming. 515,1535341583,You're just bothering me with information that's not correct, Microsoft people who think you're really smart. ... I don't know why everyone at Microsoft isn't fired at this point. 516,1535342307,They just didn't read my mind. I don't know why. 517,1535344085,I'm not going to let Linux drag this language down to mediocrity. 518,1535344215,Any school that teaches UML diagrams needs to be shot out of a cannon. 519,1535426477,Understanding your dependencies and minimizing your dependencies is critically important and nobody cares anymore. 520,1535564047,Vulkan has failed as far as I'm concerned. I don't wanna hear about it, frankly. 521,1535564366,Let's get stupid. I just wanna get stupid. 522,1535593261,Don't ever copy code off of the Web and expect that it's correct, StackOverflow people. 523,1535594491,I'm pretty sure that Zig code was stack-overflow in origin. 524,1535595368,I want to call a function called TellMeWhereTheGoddamnLibrariesAreYouIdiot() and it just tells me. 525,1535596495,I'm sure you know how to add. That's practical math! 526,1535597384,find_visual_studio_in_a_ridiculous_garbage_way :: () { 527,1535597768,What is all this? 528,1535597971,What is a BSTR? You know what, I don't want to know. It's something... a BSTR is just something. 529,1535598030,I bet Ignacio defined BSTR... Nope. No frickin' BSTR. Is that like something for The Beastmaster? 530,1535598274,Well, this garbage compiles. 531,1535598594,Some people think this is just what programming is. Some people do this all day and they're like "yep that's programming." 532,1535599071,It took substantial archaeology to write this. We aren't even doing anything yet. 533,1535599430,Does this mean I return an IID? I don't know. They don't speak English here at Microsoft. 534,1535599546,My eyes are glazing over already. 535,1535599918,The question for next time is kinda like "who is John Galt"... It's "what is CLSID_SetupConfiguration? And why should I care?" 536,1535600014,We don't host Javascript here, unless I'm too tired to notice that it's Javascript. 537,1535600035,I guess indie game developers can't program anymore so you never see them programming. 538,1535654493,An enumerator is a thing that enumerates, guys. Holy fuck... 539,1535690601,Now you have access to the Elite Frequent Flyer Swank Lounge. 540,1535699683,It's the worst idea in a long time. 541,1535701841,Software scales automatically. 542,1535702277,Business is a separate thing from what's good software. 543,1535732992,I might want to go and #define DO_NOT_COMPILE_THIS_RIGHT_NOW_PLEASE in my list of defines. I can't do that if we're #if 0. 544,1535734024,If the mouse fails, then we have to cancel the project. 545,1535736104,DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Print()s. 546,1535737971,This is such a garbage. 547,1535737990,How many people should get fired from that alone? 548,1535738289,Dude, I have so little patience for these problems, now that I use a language that doesn't have them. 549,1535738378,Oh, now we have to do all this C++ work to babysit the compiler, because I'm an idiot who writes in C++. 550,1535738708,"This string can be interpreted in a number of ways." As soon as you have to write that in your documentation, you have failed. 551,1535739365,We no longer need to run VCVars. Or run VSWhere. Or run VSBoondogleBS 1.7. 552,1535740135,In the end, everyone is just running around on giant hamster wheels. That is what modern software is like. 553,1535740165,Why do I have to do this just because somebody else decided to build a hamster wheel I have to run on? 554,1535740469,Generally, the people who make snippy remarks to me on Twitter do not have the level of social bravery to say those things to me in real life. 555,1535766340,I don't want to do any of this, but we're morally obligated to do this. 556,1535766705,I'm vaguely remembering that there's a thing called wcstrlen(). It's like W. C. Fields. 557,1535775662,Not programming because Microsoft made us want to quit all of programming for the rest of time and even retroactively back in time. 558,1535860194,Emacs, the editor of 2027. 559,1535861141,I only have to get 300 times as many viewers, and I'll be a famous streamer. 560,1535864312,[On the Windows Store, looking at Candy Crush clones] Look, all these games are 4 stars or above. These are great games! 561,1535864337,"Lep's World 2" sounds like a racist game. 562,1535864599,Oh. This guy actually knows what he's talking about. That's rare! 563,1535864630,Let's lep at this for a second. 564,1535865876,It's 40% too long! Cancel the compiler! 565,1535865976,Because it's C++, we have to redundantly babysit the compiler and hate programming. 566,1535866767,"How did that happen?" you may ask. "I don't know," I may answer. 567,1535952162,Okay, that is progress. It is not ingress or postgress, it is progress. 568,1535952507,How did this ever work? 569,1535952513,This might be a problem that I don't know how to solve. 570,1535952646,This is literally unsolvable at a basic level. 571,1535953764,There's a few things not to do in this channel, and one of them is to advocate for garbage collection. 572,1535954815,I'm not sure I like this, what I'm typing. 573,1535955260,All a monad is is typechecking. It's an abstraction barrier that enforces a wall between one part of your program and another. That's, like, the only thing I can tell that it is. It's like what you already have in C++ all the time. It's literally nothing. 574,1535955347,I'm not sure why this works, actually. I mean I know why it works, but I don't know why it didn't work before. 575,1536000278,The worst would be to put nothing here at all. Well, the ABSOLUTE worst would be to be Javascript. 576,1536000601,That's better. We're one step further from Javascript on the badness scale. 577,1536001969,Look at how many mistakes you can make while programming! That is a tiny fraction of the number of mistakes you can make. ...Mistake #1 is programming in Javascript. 578,1536003875,"When will this be done?" When it's done. 579,1536004375,I should rename it the All-Inclusive Diversity Lounge. 580,1536004403,"How big of a quality-of-life improvement has the language been?" Massive, because I'm actually happy when I program now. 581,1536004491,We're in 3-digit subscriber numbers! Now the Illuminati will send me a message saying "you're so famous now, we're going to tell you all the Illuminati secrets." 582,1536006701,I'm annoyed that I have so much work to do and people are saying "why don't you do a bunch more work sooner than you did it?" 583,1536007910,Well, this is a real question. 584,1536008751,"How many books on the shelf are about web development?" I'm pretty sure the answer is exactly zero. I doubt that a web development book has snuck in, but it's possible. 585,1536009005,"Can you name *anything* that the web does that is actually sane and possibly even good?" ... [30 seconds later] ...I'm having a hard time with that question. 586,1536009965,Unnecessary complication must be... REMOVED! 587,1536010761,Frickin' frackin' release the kraken. 588,1536010955,Thank you Emacs for deleting half my file. I don't know how I put up with all of this anymore. 589,1536011853,Oh well. Works fine, ship it. 590,1536011993,Your argument is not valid, as Reddit users would say. 591,1536012893,It doesn't matter that he's a great guy, he's writing in Javascript. 592,1536025976,Instantiables are kinda like Lunchables. 593,1536026354,This is why I date my comments. 594,1536028206,Does your workaround cause so many workarounds that you shouldn't do it anymore? 595,1536029509,The Anti-Defamation League closed my compiler. 596,1536030429,If you want to succeed, do not compile the debug build and run the release build. They don't teach you that in school. 597,1536032573,I'm gettin hungry, and we're not gonna be done streaming anytime soon. So we're going to have to pop out some UberEATS before all the stores close and we're stuck in post-apocalyptic situations, like... foodless terror. 598,1536034523,You totally couldn't do this in caveman days. 599,1536034803,You can intend all day for your code to get fast and it won't actually get faster. 600,1536125608,Is my whole life a lie? 601,1536160507,The most frustrating time during The Witness voice acting was just the voice actors' union not bothering to get back to us. 602,1536160872,Reading comment: "FIXME FIXME FIXME... Uhh I don't remember what needs to be fixed..." Well if it was that important there's no way it is not already fixed. 603,1536161055,The reason this is happening is because I am dumb. 604,1536162379,He's got the shakes. 605,1536162429,This looks like what happens when you kill the horses in Scum. 606,1536164307,Awwwww, my tea's cold. 607,1536166922,I think it's breakfast time, which is kind of like Miller Time for the morning. 608,1536167246,Most programmers are working at a very low percentage of efficiency. 609,1536167928,Almost no programmers work higher than 10-20% of what they're actually capable of. I'm not saying that as a diss, it's a widespread problem. 610,1536168106,The amount of work that gets done in an average Web company is almost zero. 611,1536339760,When you're learning to program, for the many, many years that it takes, the one thing that the computer is telling you constantly, all the times is "You're dumb, and you're wrong and what you're trying to do doesn't work." That is your conversation with the computer for *years*, until you get good. 612,1536339770,I'm not sure that trying to give people positive reinforcement about programming is the right thing. Really the right thing is having grit to figure out why what you're doing is wrong, and stupid, and how you can be better and smarter about it. That's the thing that young people need to learn about programming. All these public initiatives are being pushed by people who don't know anything about programming themselves. 613,1536339879,The computer is the most autistic thing, and it just constantly says "No", and you have to navigate that. That's your job. 614,1536343382,Look at the code. Look. Look at the code and see what it does. 615,1536344209,There's so much weird irrelevant garbage information on Google that I don't know what to do. 616,1536344216,I've basically set the bozo bit on Vulkan. 617,1536344679,It's in Javascript, that's an instant no. "React Native TDD," that's two instant nos at the same time. 618,1536721297,We were in the 80s and now we're in the 90s. 619,1536726387,Fiddlesticks! 620,1536728108,We got a problemo. The most important part of that is "lame-o". 621,1536729931,How did this ever work? 622,1536730772,OK, now we’re going to crash, because success is true, 623,1536890689,If someone gave me a C++ test, I probably wouldn't do very well. 624,1536890924,They're not Internet-flame-bait caliber disagreements. 625,1536894660,It's frankly horseshit. 626,1536894710,It sounds like they already have too many problems, why are they adding more? But whatever, I'll read the thing. 627,1536894814,On the one hand, awesome. 628,1536896045,C#... it's not the worst. A little too much Unity, but we could do it. 629,1536896198,Let me check the Elite Frequent Flyer Secret Illuminati Lounge. 630,1536988152,This is an Activision game, how does it not work?! ...Don't answer that, I know the answer. 631,1536988458,I'm Rambo. 632,1536990475,Third partied! 633,1536990675,He set up defensively and then as soon as I attacked him, he ran away. What kind of chicken man is that? 634,1536990690,Somebody didn't totally go to game design school. 636,1537053170,Was that me choking on water? Or was it someone else? 637,1537054688,I don't know if it's faking it well or is actually good. 638,1537065956,What I really need is a sitrep. 639,1537066288,You know, I bet that when you win in this game it doesn't even say chicken dinner. It probably says like, "Sitrep: you were the only one left alive." 640,1537066527,Ow! Sitrep! 641,1537066543,Sitrep: there's dudes everywhere. 642,1537066584,SITREEEP! 643,1537066733,Sitrep: when is the game gonna start? 644,1537067442,Sitrep: I have blood all over my face. 645,1537067751,Oooh, sitrep. 646,1537068380,Sitrep: Don't fuck with me. 647,1537069778,Sitrep: This was stupid. 648,1537069782,Sitrep: I am bad. 649,1537073137,Whoa. Didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. 650,1537073732,Sitrep: is that a vehicle? [...] Sitrep: yes. 651,1537073885,Most mice are too small for my hands. 652,1537074922,Sitrep: no gun. [...] Sitrep: gun. 653,1537076193,I don't need a big house, I don't have a big family and I don't throw huge parties. 654,1537077077,Shadowmap aliasing on my left. 655,1537078307,Sitrep: I'm about to be able to not hear anything. 656,1537082317,How is three plus two eight? 657,1537156416,Without mobility and owning that guy I would be so dead right now. 658,1537416942,I'm glad you guys are so interested in programming that you're talking about race relations and Israel. 659,1537417863,I'm trying to do work here, Microsoft. 660,1537418000,I can't even do Windows anymore. 661,1537418505,I am fired. 662,1537418508,"Svn blame", they should call it "Svn this person is fired". 663,1537418550,It's okay, since you guys know I've been building my career as a pro gaming streamer. 664,1537419643,Sitrep: we now have 5-factorial subscribers. 665,1537421734,Where is freedom of speech on here? 666,1537421924,That's it, I'm quitting game development. I'm buying this island. 667,1537427241,Ruby is so slow, even web people don't use it anymore. 668,1537505751,Isn't it great when stuff works the first time? 669,1537505784,Ugh. Okay, so forget my saying that stuff worked the first time. 670,1537506043,It's like a Greg Egan game where the characters inhabit a space that works differently from our 3D notions. 671,1537509091,Yeah, I learned how to do this on paper in grade school, guys. 672,1537511758,We could do React.js. SIKE!!! 673,1537554824,I'm so fed up with computers at this point. 674,1537554864,I don't know why people keep insisting that brunch and breakalunch are the same thing. They're not the same thing. 675,1537585988,We're gonna have to increment the cake counter later tonight. 676,1537589789,This is the type of thing that junior programmers do all the time. 677,1537591156,Once computers have memory, you do things a different way. 678,1537593265,It's a big party in the Animation Feature Festival Townhouse Place. 679,1537593951,I'm gonna need some tea to attack the particle problem. 680,1537595078,That's professional game development right there. 681,1537596785,We're gonna have a little unicorn tail here, but we're gonna sitrep that right out. 682,1537596932,Summer intern could have done that in 10 minutes, but NO! 683,1537658270,This is an award-winning situation. 684,1537660508,Because you know what, computers are fast! (If you're not running in a web browser.) 685,1537661607,One Second Puffs. 686,1537662489,So why are we doing all this? We're doing this for the lulz. 687,1537663232,If anybody does not agree with this union please speak out now. 688,1537663670,That must have been just a one-off special Christmas hack that I did. 689,1537664427,Why don't you just go to Mars and make awesome space robots that breakdance? 690,1537676752,Making games is a serious problem. 691,1537752714,Someday I'll be done renaming things...I swear! 692,1537753842,I want my money back for a crappy programming language that doesn't know Smapple. 693,1537754580,I want my money back. What a crappy programming language. It doesn't know smaple. 694,1537754855,Our drag is not frame-rate independent, which is pretty poopy. 695,1537755780,Copy, paste, crash. 696,1537755929,Occasional biggies, but mostly small. 697,1537756784,The game's done at this point. 698,1537758620,I'm sure glad my GPU can fill pixels. 699,1537760842,What is holding back porn films from becoming a socially acceptable artistic medium? 700,1537760869,What is holding back boxes of detergent at the groceery store from becoming a socially acceptable artistic medium? 701,1537761030,People who make games are dumb. 702,1537761104,We are not in a society that is oriented around making things that are meaningful or deep or aesthetically beautiful. 703,1537761889,Because only kids knew how to set the VCR, now there's no respect for the older generation at all. 704,1537762332,Parts of our society are more grounded in things that are well-tested, but some parts are very untested. 705,1537763890,Sitrep: We have a circle problem. Over. 706,1537768360,std::vector. Sign of quality. 707,1537846221,I wanna make some little graphy-poos for those. 708,1537854880,It's working fine, it's just that we told it to not work. 709,1537859799,Here is the sauce. 710,1537860026,Solotanz? Do you think this is a dancing game? 711,1537860049,It's totally a dancing game! 712,1537860142,Not everyone is an elite veteran ace frequent flyer game developer. 713,1538194860,Everybody's a two-year-old again all of a sudden. 714,1538194891,Everybody's not even just a two-year-old, they're a stupid two-year-old. 715,1538195021,I am starting a stream. 716,1538195804,I'm not trying to be Unity here because Unity is slow like a butt. 717,1538199357,It's the opposite of what I just said. This isn't going on Youtube. 718,1538281122,Isn't that a crappy game? ...Why do I think that? 719,1538282731,I don't like broken physics games. 720,1538283987,Sisters. Is that like Brothers? 721,1538284360,I don't know what's going on with computers. 722,1538285381,I'm sure we're reaching the bottom of the barrel but there are many pages after this. 723,1538285624,It's VR dancing girls again. 724,1538285950,We could delete PUBG, because we're probably not ever gonna play it. 726,1538286963,If you want one atom of pizza each, I think that can be arranged. 728,1538292757,Why do you think this is a game? 729,1538293258,How do I end? 730,1538293440,I just wanna play a game. 731,1538294391,Gabe!!! 732,1538295694,Sitrep: It's 1:30 AM and I'm tired. 733,1538344374,I'm out of shape. Out of Beat Saber shape. 734,1538344719,I care about the stream quality. 735,1538347297,What happens if my ball gets stabbed? ...don't make that a quote. 736,1538347553,Not too Banksy. ...that was not Banksy enough. 737,1538347702,Bank, bank, bank. 738,1538348391,We're gonna have to whack this real hard. ...Maybe too hard. 739,1538348568,I hope my streaming audience is entertained. 740,1538348599,RNG... okay, game. Good golf game. 741,1538349060,Why are VR games such pieces of poop? 742,1538349232,They ignore [input] if the window doesn't have focus. THAT is a sign they they're using Unity or something. 743,1538349252,What? Now the window is on my other monitor! 744,1538349386,I can't alt-F4 the game. 745,1538349674,God, there's so many crystals! 746,1538350121,How come I can't walk there? Because there's a 1-inch high cube? ...Unreal Engine. 747,1538350299,Let me cast my spells! 748,1538350313,They look ornery. 749,1538350343,Wait, the goblins have an army of orcs? How does that work? 750,1538350511,CAST THE SPELL! God fuckin'... 751,1538350925,The cardboard wall made of styrofoam cardboard. 752,1538351260,It's pretending I have choices. 753,1538352424,Oh god, it's totally Star Wars. 754,1538353137,I don't want to do my taxes, I want to play a game. 755,1538355260,Five waves?? What is this, a Nintendo boss battle? Jesus. 756,1538355274,...or an indie game boss battle from a game you downloaded on TIGSource. 757,1538355899,I know you're supposed to use the wrist straps, but I'm not gonna use the wrist straps. I mean, come on. 758,1538358935,Ladies and gentlemen, the future of videogames. 759,1538361704,Dude. What is your major malfunction? 760,1538362118,I failed because I didn't winch up the winch in giant spider land. 761,1538617704,What if I do something exciting like download Windows? Wouldn't that be cool? 762,1538617991,Time goes by so fast, I just don't know what to do about it. 763,1538618456,In the old days there would be a hardware button and the on button would mean the computer was in an on state. These days nobody wants to make computers that anyone knows how to use. 764,1538620451,Advanced does nothing when I click on it. That's not very advanced. 765,1538620916,What a garbage. 766,1538622087,I'm not a professional benchmarker. 767,1538622661,It's a benchmark program that takes 10 minutes to load system info. 768,1539233990,"Being self-employed in the US, how does health insurance work?" Well, you just get health insurance. 769,1539272489,People like to be weenies about entity-component system on the Internet. 770,1539273011,Of course, since I'm an actual programmer and not like a Mac user, I turn off all the goofy gestures 771,1539273109,I paid $4000 for this thing. It shouldn't be a piece of shit. 772,1539276942,This is so bananas. 773,1539301560,I don't know what this is. "Sandstorm." It's got 133 million views. 774,1539301582,Oh, it's THAT song. Alright. 775,1539305335,The Witness was hard, man. 776,1539311091,Dude, this level looks rough. 777,1539312733,Oh, Matt. Matt, Matt, Matt... 778,1539313826,Whoa! Rep is bigger than sit! 779,1539314163,These people are not delivering my food! Freaking communist... 780,1539314391,Sitrep: where's my food? 781,1539314495,This is obviously a highly professional thing. My next job is as a graphic designer. 782,1539315073,We gotta own some noobs while there's still noobs. 783,1539332465,Lancer, Prancer, and... Neuromancer out. 784,1539332926,Sitrep: Owned. 785,1539332994,Feels bad man. 786,1539396254,They're calling me a beta. 787,1539397859,I'm gonna get kicked out of videogames soon if I don't pick it up. 788,1539401806,Any game where you can concuss yourself and still win is a good game. 789,1539402478,Hopefully he's fixated on the package. 790,1539402573,This is double plus ungood. 791,1539402959,Put up or shut up. 793,1539403357,How many hit points is "vague blood splat at the side of the screen"? 794,1539404384,I potato'd, he potato'd. I won the War of the Potatoes. 795,1539404533,I don't play these noob games. 796,1539405145,I can't count. I can only computer program. 797,1539405266,I'm finally learning how to not be the worst player in the universe. 798,1539405901,Dude, I took my boat to the boat club! 799,1539407205,Never underestimate how little revenue a small game can make. 800,1539407501,Apparently I can't do things that are not that ambitious. 801,1539407878,I usually think college students don't know anything about game design. 802,1539408025,That's just art game stuff. What matters is that the gun makes a loud bitchin' noise. 803,1539408532,Manipulate that answer to be appropriate to your life situation. 804,1539410692,I actually had the presence of mind to SLIDE, how'd you like them apples? 805,1539410923,Go go gadget vehicle. 806,1539411805,He was a gamer. 807,1539412963,What is this fiction that we're all surprised that we want to shoot each other? 808,1539413014,Is it like a revolver? More like a suckvolver. 809,1539415514,It's like climate change, it's never gonna happen. 810,1539416443,Kill his ass, please! 811,1539448272,Not having dumpbin in my path is ass. 812,1539571172,I should have 'naded! 813,1539575090,You'll be sorry you landed the same place I landed. Unless I fuck up, in which case you won't be sorry. 814,1539575244,Dude, I'm getting owned! It's like people are good at this game all of a sudden. 815,1539576895,You can't balance a game that's full of garbage guns. 816,1539577028,Dude, I shot that guy around the corner. You know what I'm saying? That was not legit. That was a fuckin' 10-tick-server situation if I ever saw one. 817,1539578023,That was just a festival of me hitting the wrong keys. 818,1539579264,Sitrep: I have preliminarily taken damage. 819,1539579628,I am engaging in the "Unthinking Act of Murder." Thanks, game. 820,1539579822,I feel like they could have splurged on more than one X texture. 821,1539580277,Okay, they're expecting a collapse now, that's a new development. 822,1539580794,I'm a stupid stupid. 823,1539581023,Aw, just put some Call of Duty shit in there, it'll make sense. Those kids don't know what they're doing anyway. 824,1539581079,Take the armor! Fucking 10 tick server. 825,1539581701,I don't know if you guys know this, but they're expecting a further collapse. 826,1539581774,I thought that'd be the last collapse, but apparently instabilities were detected, and that causes collapse to occur. 827,1539581894,How many collapses do you guys think there's gonna be? It's just such an unknown mystery. 828,1539582647,The Banana Man? That's not the real Banana Man! 829,1539583238,Wowsers. 830,1539583648,It's hard to be a good technology when you're built on a giant pile of poo, so good luck. 831,1539584509,Netcall: This is a sitrep. 832,1539585205,I gotta go to the bathroom and commence a drop operation. 833,1539586603,Look, if somebody gave me 1 BILLION dollars to do something, it would not involve turning a real island into The Witness. 834,1539586803,I don't like answering questions about what my games are about, because the game tells you what it's about. The game is what it's about. 835,1539587369,Who could have predicted that there would be a further collapse? 836,1539589266,That's so Rainbow Six-y right there. 837,1539654577,It's like indie game voice acting in here. 840,1539656909,She's a strong female character. 841,1539659017,Is Drax somebody who dabs? 842,1539659436,I'm going to Dabtown. 843,1539659465,Dabrep. 844,1539675342,Why is everybody not playing the good mode? 845,1539745133,If you mess with people in this game, you better kill 'em. 846,1539748380,If it comes down to going on a scavenger hunt or chicken dinnering, I'm gonna chicken dinner. 847,1539748977,Somebody own me! I need to get dinner. 848,1539751269,Binding of Oscar Isaac music. 849,1539752447,Really? You're gonna unzip right there? 850,1539753652,The self-stun is a pro strat, uh, I saw people who are very pro do that strat. 851,1539754557,The boat club OWNS! 852,1539755056,Mankind must put an end to the war. That's why we're playing war games. 853,1539755465,Mistakes were made. [Gets shot] Mistakes were further made. 854,1539757941,It's very easy to backseat game. 855,1539758674,This guy's a noob and I'm a potato. 856,1539758979,Sitrep: we have crashed. 858,1539759975,King 177 Jaded Mamba, over. 859,1539760536,How come the circle is outside the combat zone? That's a Jaded Mamba situation. 860,1539760651,Breaker one nine, the mamba is jaded, over. 861,1539760893,Alright, now which mamba are we gonna jade? 862,1539837224,Maybe we should as a company just stop making video games and start making chicken dinner Youtube videos, and maybe that'll be better than making video games. 863,1539837400,Maybe this should be Battle Royale Sokoban. I don't know how that would work exactly. 864,1539839347,Video games, man! They just get complicated. 865,1539841470,Why am I in Witness?? 866,1539841999,Go people are so ridiculous for not putting assert. 867,1539842736,People in the Elite Gaming Elite Platinum Elite Copper Lounge have a goofy image of me. I don't know why. 868,1539842867,People will hire you if you demonstrate skills that they're impressed by. That's it. 869,1539842926,I wonder if Amazon sells one-page books? 870,1539843008,[Jai] For Dummies has a single page, but it doesn't say "get out", it says "git gud." 871,1539844622,Why did I do that? This is awful. 872,1539885063,I don't know what it is about drinking a drink online, but that happens unusually much. 873,1540005107,Dude, how can a walking simulator make me want to punch my monitor? 874,1540016969,Shot by that guy again? That guy's a dick. 875,1540018015,I wish I could trot slightly faster. 876,1540018147,Dude, serious Peter Pan-ing in the shadowmap. 877,1540018439,Don't make me punch you, particles. 878,1540022240,I get more grumpy as I get tired, too. 880,1540022774,It's the most pixelated game of 2018. 881,1540078355,Once you start to have some bricks in the wall, more bricks fit into the wall better. 883,1540172004,If you have no reason to use Euler angles, then don't. 884,1540172423,The sticky pad was no longer sticky enough. 888,1540173051,Yeah, the bar for quotes seem pretty low right now. 889,1540174652,Tearing up code is the fun thing. 890,1540175567,"What is my keyboard/monitor?" uhh, I use a computer. And a monitor. 891,1540175948,People use really weird coding standards like you can't put more than 100 lines of code in a file, because that's all that fits in their little Java brains. 892,1540175957,VS Code? Isn't that one of those editors that's basically a Web browser, and you press a key and it takes 100 milliseconds for your keystroke to register? 893,1540176167,I'm not that prepared for loose-leaf prep EXCEPT for my extravagant tea setup. 894,1540176353,The idea that any professional programmer would rely on a random website hosting their source control is bananas. I don't understand. 895,1540176511,Casey won't show me the game. He's a very stubborn person. 896,1540179074,You know who was on the Visual Studio programming team? Ali G. Here's when he was consulting with the Visual Studio team on designing the interface: [plays video of Ali G saying "nine nine nine nine nine..."] He was an intern at Microsoft when they were wondering how many zeroes to put here. 897,1540179099,It's not just zero, it's 0x0000000000000000. Cursor is very close to that, it's 0x0000000000000001. They should compare about equal in if statements and stuff. 898,1540179111,Pointers are scary. 900,1540180232,That is a very wrappery wrapper. 901,1540181979,I'm not that much of a school guy. 902,1540182113,Dude, Elite Lounge, it's poppin'! It's got green frogs! 904,1540193973,If I had found a weapon that was on the blockchain that time, I think I really would have owned that guy. 905,1540198952,I do have to think more like a gamer, it's true. I've gotta game harder. [starts opening wingsuit] Look, I'm gaming right now! 906,1540273977,God, this thing steers like a cow. Like a drunken cow! 907,1540373417,I'm gonna bang this guy when I come in. 908,1541989217,New York pizza is really bad. 909,1541989257,They're these bad doughy slices of low-quality ingredients. Sorry, that's just how it is. 910,1541991220,You should be constantly evaluating what you think you know, and modifying it based on your experience. 911,1541995104,I'm not a hide-in-the-bathroom player. 912,1541996296,That guy was a bathroom-hider. 914,1542004099,Dude, I hate this game! 915,1542005693,Aim for the head and play like you own the place. 916,1542059698,Anytime you say "cached_" anything, it's a little bit scary. 917,1542499865,Dude, it's like I'm talking to a college sophomore or something. 918,1542507201,There's at least three levels now. There's coder, programmer and engineer. Coder is if you work at Twitter. Programmer is if you work at Infinity War. Engineer is if you work at IBM or NASA. The People who use only JavaScript are definitely coders, or think they're coders. Maybe there's even a fourth level below coder. 919,1542515954,Once you lost your peppermint chocolate, things are dire! 920,1542516908,Time flies sometimes. I don't know where it goes. 921,1542530555,I just don't play games for 12 year olds, so I'm not used to it. 922,1542531051,Now I'm wishing I'd ended on the "This is the last game" game. 923,1542577925,Cable tension is dangerous business. 924,1542578095,Just like CNN, we're gonna call the results of the election before all the votes have been tallied. 925,1542598535,I can happily announce that plans for today's 0-bagger have been cancelled. 926,1542599898,Don't play like it's PUBG, play like it's COD. 927,1542607758,This guy wasn't even a gamer. 928,1542609475,They should just put a line on the ground. Pretend it's part of the Super Combat Man Combat HUD. 929,1542611274,We're still 0-bagging, but we're survivor-baggin'. Like Bilbo Baggins was a survivor, you know? 930,1542856469,Maybe in Half-Life 3, Gordon Freeman is a firefighter. 931,1542859290,I just wanted a little more... you know, nade-age. 932,1542877264,Could be a big bag of baggers. 933,1542884664,It's absolutely ridiculous. It's the Chronicles of Ridic. 934,1542943816,Someone is fired. 935,1543040496,I don't know how people who use Photoshop don't commit suicide in droves. It's a PERFECTLY FINE program for 1992. 936,1543046827,We're gonna push some blocks like we often do in this game. 937,1543050347,Never thought I'd be a barber. 938,1543052208,Uh oh, I messed that up. I was trying to hit F and I hit G... for Gamer. 939,1543053243,Any games I'm looking forward to? Hmm... Stephen's Sausage Roll 2... Stephen's Sausage Roll 3, Stephen's Sausage Roll 4... and Mountain King 2. 940,1543058359,You know. Kitten, bunny, squirrel. 941,1543099668,No monsters were harmed in the making of this program. 942,1543099701,No monsters were harmed in the making of this game. 943,1543115639,Walking to the right is dangerous business. 944,1543385290,Maximum public approval has never really been my goal. 945,1543629235,Maybe people just need to have patience. It's not like they're waiting an hour for a cloud or something. 946,1543699361,Oh my GOD! A global variable!! What the hell?!? 947,1543731381,We're not quite at the chai line, but we're getting there. 948,1543734467,Man is not meant to drink chai through a straw. 949,1543734724,Now I did just say "Man was not meant to drink chai through a straw", but I kind of wonder, what if it was one of those Starbucks cookie straws. Would that then be a drinkable chai situation? I think it might be. 950,1543812203,Dude, Javascript is the best programming language in the world because the dough's so good, because of the New York water. 951,1543813151,Drag, baby! 952,1543896494,It's not hard to beat Emacs. 953,1543897803,This is one of those levels where you look at it and you just think "What the fuck?" 954,1544308051,It's like famous Hollywood actor Carl Weathers says: "Now you've got a tea going." 955,1544308316,It's gonna get Team Fortress'd. 956,1544311038,That's not gonna make people not sick. 957,1544334691,We've got to figure out which chain-link is not fencing. 958,1544334984,I'm Batman. 959,1544415295,Let's get into trouble! 960,1544422402,That's just how you do it. It's like you go to the weight room. You do a 10 pound weight, then a 15 pound weight next time, and then a 20 pound weight, and before you know it, you're staring in Terminator 7. 961,1544501753,Oh snap! I made a junior varsity error. 962,1544586820,I feel like I'm being Jebaited here. 963,1544596817,We are in the middle of not knowing right now. 964,1544599088,This is a game about society. 965,1544600937,If You Don't Atan2, This Industry Does Not Need You. 966,1544859733,That crapifies the build process. 967,1545264020,If your number is smaller than 100 million, I'm not impressed. 968,1545490931,Literally I'm growing old RIGHT NOW. 969,1545491928,That is not the right code. Don't type that. 970,1545494328,Computers are wasting your time every day, all the time, forever. 971,1545540358,I don't do Modern C++. I do Medieval C++. 972,1545543684,Be better. 973,1545544622,Oh my god, I'm so stupid. We're gonna keep doing it this way, but I'm stupid. 974,1545545113,That's yesterday's news. Now we're building tunnels under Los Angeles. 975,1545548547,We just want to be all Mike Acton and understand our data now. 976,1545549218,You don't want your compiler to die on a thousand indie games. 977,1545773659,If there is no constructor then clearly... etc.! 978,1545779651,Let's see if my laptop opens correctly... 979,1545781867,Successful language design is about realism. 980,1545789605,If your code doesn't have some Mega Warnings in it, it's not good. 981,1545790011,We're gonna need an intense fuzz session on that. 982,1545795424,What kind of game do you think this is? Of course there's a struct "Egg". 983,1546309274,Everything is so screwed and there's so little I can do about it. 984,1546309787,When I'm designing this programming language, I'm doing it in a chef-like way. 985,1546310063,Productivity per engineer-hour is a measurable number. 986,1546310118,They've calibrated their methods in a world of easy problems. 987,1546311036,I'm gonna go into 2019 in a good mood. 988,1546311142,Probably very few arguments are actually worth having. So my goal is I'm just gonna keep making stuff, and if my opinions are right, then I should be able to succeed just by making stuff that's better than what's out there. 989,1546311198,As long as I can say I'm kicking off another process, I don't care that much, and I can go eat my Cheetos and go home. That's most web people. 990,1546311247,If you can win at Zachtronics games, you know what efficient parallelism is like. 991,1546314189,Wrap everything in 17 smart pointers. 992,1546315172,Civilization is declining, is basically what's happening. 993,1546317516,You can't say my opinion about clock cycles is wrong! 994,1546320052,This UI is so modern that I can't figure out how to do it. 995,1546320472,The police arrested my correct code. 996,1546322595,Computer people are weird to begin with, and they don't have social skills, and whatever. 997,1546326141,This is a family channel. We're only playing this for educational purposes. 998,1546326327,What I'm doing today is obviously not the optimum, but it's clearly the best thing I can do after 37 years of experience programming. 999,1546328186,I might have to stop and be contemplative... while I'm debugging. 1000,1546328557,I think you're scraping the bottom of the barrel to get quotes just to get to a thousand. 1001,1546332019,Fullstack means web, and web means bad. 1002,1546493839,Man, if only I'd never cleaned this up, we wouldn't have introduced new bugs. 1003,1546493869,Why are all editors terrible? I don't understand. 1004,1546494711,The people who make these editors are a word you can't say anymore because it hurts peoples feelings. 1005,1546495006,There are 11 time zones in this code. 1006,1546495560,You know, sometimes people as me how do you get into the game industry, how do you really succeed? And I say the answer is don't snake, snake, but sometimes even I'm not able to avoid snake, snaking apparently, so maybe I just have to quit. Maybe my life is sad. 1007,1546745579,Web programming is the janitor work of programming. 1008,1546747588,"Windows is stinky" is the conclusion we're coming to. 1009,1546749529,It's all flat design, because it's the year 2020. 1010,1546750159,It's the year 2020. Everything is flat now, 'cause that's the universe we live in. 1011,1546751099,Ghostbusters is not a good movie. I hate to say it. I hate to say it! 1012,1546753288,Let's start by being the change we want to see in the world. 1013,1546757616,What do I ever say that's important? The code is important! 1014,1546759037,We might start an international incident if we play this. 1015,1546761438,We've already basically played everything tonight. Basically. 1016,1546833824,Dude! If fputs behaves differently than puts, then I'm not gonna use it out of sheer principle. 1017,1547022365,What if you want to make a really positive integer at some point? 10 megabytes might not be enough. 1018,1548570255,I heard C++ is a character in the next Mortal Kombat game, so have fun with that. 1019,1548570782,Come on laptop! I only paid $4000 for you. 1020,1549267393,I'm using my brilliant that would have won the Peloponnesian War! 1021,1549271411,I need gems more than they need a working spaceship. 1022,1549490226,Maybe I should do something where I just, like, drop a nuke on the chat and ban everybody once in a while. That would be good. 1023,1549490838,If I hadn't played video games until 3 in the morning, I probably would have done that right the first time. 1024,1549491115,Sometimes that's what programming is like. You try to do a two minute thing, and then you become very sad. 1025,1549495224,We're going to have to actually look at what the code is doing, as opposed to just typing things. 1026,1550892132,My preferred keyboard is one that does not have a user experience. 1027,1550897001,See, read the code. Don't just assume. You know what happens when you assume? Then you have to drink some tea. 1028,1550981366,When your syntax highlighting looks like angry fruit salad, how does that help you anyway? 1029,1551059479,That's a cleaner pizza pie. 1030,1551062212,I can't watch super hero movies any more. If I'm ever going to still be a good programmer, especially in my older ages, I need to preserve my brain cells, you know what I'm saying? ... I can't keep killing them with super hero movies. 1031,1551073472,I've made that bug before. 1032,1551240974,I need angry fruit salad. Can't program without angry fruit salad!! 1033,1551246913,[In Zambia] The truck driver was trying to smuggle us past the 12-year old gang members with assault rifles. It was a pretty complete Africa experience. We rode on the truck with like 16 people piled into it. 1034,1551249258,This game's going to be so baller when it's done. 1035,1551287630,There's always more swamp to drain. 1036,1551317640,I know how to program! I went to two week coding boot camp! 1037,1551319072,This is what happens when you burn everything to the ground, it's like... you've got problems. 1038,1551505436,Fricking orcs. Orcs are bad. 1039,1552462632,That's some Einstein shit right there. 1040,1552803121,People ask me how do you succeed in game development - and the answer is save the file. If you don't save the file, you will not succeed in game development. 1041,1554400966,Okay, whatever. I vented into the comment. 1042,1554402038,There's gotta be like a spaceship operator version of this, right? 1043,1554439709,Someday I'll fix that. I swear. 1044,1554441001,We just need to push the reboot button on every technical decision involved in the world wide web. 1045,1554523713,\q+ Somebody give me an operating system that doesn't close all my programs every random() MOD 8 number of nights, and that actually works! 1046,1554530349,How did they manage to make even the scrollbar hard to use? 1047,1554531824,This is just really not what I want to be seeing. 1048,1554534372,There is zero amount of UB in this language. We do not respect the concept of UB. UB stands for "Ugly Bullshit" and I'll have none of it. 1049,1554536128,If it doesn't have an underscore, you're not doing data oriented design. 1050,1554784966,So ass-tastically slow. 1051,1554787069,Full-time streamer. I'm gonna play Apex Legends and Dota 2 Autochess. I'm gonna dye my hair blue and have a bunch of 12-year-olds as my audience. 1052,1554790592,Dude, I gotta write an operating system! 1053,1554947212,I'm just gonna cancel everything and stop programming. 1054,1555053541,Doing good work on the modern Internet involves ignoring a lot of people. 1055,1555055236,If it's the Hacker News trend of the week, I don't know what it is. 1056,1555058357,People who use the word "code smell" have code smell. 1057,1555177395,I've never seen Agile end in the mass murder of millions of people, but maybe that is yet to happen. 1058,1555178191,Let me get a food, and then we'll continue programming. 1059,1555184647,LLVM stands for Long Looping Virtual Machine. 1060,1555218331,You put your ass in the chair, you DO IT, and then you have something to feel good about. 1061,1555392267,There was this phrase, I forget exactly what it was, but like, "The compiler is smarter than you are" or whatever, and it's not true. It's smarter than you are if you're a bozo. 1062,1555392984,I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that. Args out of range. 1063,1555399386,Emacs seems like the American space program in the 1990s and 2000s. 1064,1555479245,I'll check it out. Except they reviewed it on Polygon, so maybe I shouldn't play it. 1065,1555485164,Why would I ask the robot? The robot doesn't know anything. 1066,1555490463,Who fucking designed this game? 1067,1555797541,That's not what "fantastical" means, asshole. God, if you're going to write for the game, learn what words mean. 1068,1556252079,Call this group the end-zone, which is different from a friend-zone, but not that different. 1069,1556259017,For game play purposes, you don't want people to feel super constipated all the time. 1070,1556519668,Oh my god, the flat earth people were right all along! 1071,1557027552,Shawarma? I don't like Marvel movies. 1072,1557116024,Green threads is the entity component system of 2016. 1073,1557210354,It looks like it's for 14 year olds, and if you're 14, that's fine. 1074,1557452824,Sometimes you just need to break eggs before you can unbreak eggs. 1075,1557556471,My parents bought me a TRS-80 color computer. Best thing they ever did. 1076,1557561535,Oh look at all these mangled names. They're so cute. 1077,1557563559,I'm offended by how crappy that was. 1078,1557607566,I'm not in any secret societies that I know of. If I'm in one, it's so secret that I'm not knowing that I'm in it. That would be pretty cool, right: You start a society that's so secret you induct people against their knowledge. 1079,1557612307,Our entire society does not have the capability to produce working software right now. 1080,1560486876,Thanks, Windows, for trying to pretend like you didn't reboot my machine! 1081,1560491330,Ray Kurzweil thinks he's going to be immortal, and he's older than me, so who knows? 1082,1562280359,Doxygen is not ok. 1083,1563747325,I need a separate streaming PC. Windows is so bad, that you can't actually run multiple programs on the same computer. 1084,1563747577,OMG This view bob is gonna drive me nuts. I think I'm going to be ill from this view bob. [...] OMG That was the worst view bob in the universe. 1085,1563747892,Every editor based on Eclipse cannot open a 4mb file. I'm not surprised. I mean, who would *ever* have a file as large as 4 megabytes? That's just ridiculous? What are you even thinking? Why would you put four million bytes into the same file? Everybody knows that if you're programming, each file is supposed to have at most 100 lines of code, and then you're supposed to have 30,000 files. That's the understandable way to make your program. Don't you know anything? 1086,1563748628,Don't punish people for exploring! 1087,1563748689,[doing a Jedi handwave] You do not want to go in that direction, says the game. 1088,1563951304,Sometimes we do things and they actually make sense. 1089,1563955990,Replacement?!? C'mon, you can't replace things! 1090,1564118818,I don't know why you don't think our game works, because clearly 60% of the time it works all the time. 1091,1564123773,It's amazing how much of programming is realizing you didn't save the file correctly before you go off on a half hour debugging spree. That saves you so much time! 1092,1564125565,Well, I'm glad to be rid of those 200 lines because some of them were hairy and I was scared of them. 1093,1564183228,I think we need to burn the web down and start over. 1094,1564183614,I'm not going to beg people to use the language. I'm going to make it the best thing to use for many applications, and then smart people will use it. The end. 1095,1563918120,If the Romans made the fricken internet, it wouldn't go down like this all the time! 1096,1564371414,People still have plenty of time to do their protobufs before demo day. 1097,1564371480,We proto'd our buf successfully. 1098,1564376630,Don't write garbage software, and your software won't have to get collected. 1099,1564379999,You know when you look under your bed and there's like hairballs and cat barf because you had a cat 10 years ago and it died and you never cleaned under your bed, that's what we're doing right now. Or like you forgot you had a cat, and there's a dead cat under the bed? You're like "Oh, that's what's been going on." 1100,1564381850,We can compile a program faster than cloc can count the lines in it. 1101,1564382482,Life is not a bowl of cherries, it is a plate of cherries. 1102,1564385544,"Protobufs never halt". That's the name of the new James Bond Movie. 1103,1564463034,Good news everybody. We are now indexing a nil value, which is how you know we've really been doing some work. 1104,1564468497,Joe Rogan gets at least 250 people for each podcast. 1105,1564470219,Okay, I get the programmer dunce cap because I spent an hour on this 1106,1564470239,Can somebody teach me programming languages? 1107,1564470318,If only this program had been written in Rust and used goroutines, this wouldn't have happened. 1108,1564470402,I just think I've been programming too much lately, because my brain literally was not even on for the past hour. 1109,1564539424,If we all had a little bit less Microsoft software in our lives, and a little more pizza, everybody would be happier. 1110,1564540635,By the time you report an error, you've given up on life. 1111,1564551137,We're just not like crappy pixel-art indie. 1112,1564560513,Just make things good before you release them, bro. 1113,1564560709,Once you've done damage in the universe, you have to fix it. 1114,1564563662,Debug mode is like Depeche Mode, but slower. Debug mode is like Depeche Mode covered by Neu. 1115,1564564607,I feel like we're just kicking the can up the stack. 1116,1564010700,How frickin' crazy is that? It's better than a real language. A real language wouldn't be this good. 1117,1564644124,If I'm this dumb, and I can still make compilers, anybody can. 1118,1564648791,There's code here that's, like, disagreeing. 1119,1564732084,Once upon a time this was an empty file containing nothing. And I said, "I wish that I could make a programming language as wonderful and amazing as the mighty JavaScript. I wonder if I can do that?" And who knows if we'll succeed, but we've made some progress in that direction. 1120,1564732264,I've always wanted to level up on a streaming channel. 1121,1564733350,Philosopher's Stone is a better title. It is one syllable longer, though. Maybe the dumb Americans can't handle one extra syllable. 1122,1564734028,It's going to be HUUUUUUUGE, like the Mexican border wall! 1123,1564818142,Man, we made gains today. We drank our protein shake, and we made gains. 1124,1564890006,So that's a little bit sus. 1125,1564903312,I am not a...person. 1126,1564967623,That may not be hard, but it may be hard. 1127,1564984412,I have no respect for linkers. 1128,1565486782,I wonder if I'm getting sick. I don't want to give any of you guys my germs over the internet. 1129,1565488203,Let's order a food. 1130,1565492745,If you're going to be a bad programmer, be a bad programmer like the kind that never do anything, because then your bad code can never get out and damage things in the world. Be like that kind of bad. 1131,1565500043,Dude, When I was 20, I didn't feel that young, but 20 is so young, dude, oh my god. If I could go be 20 again but know what I know now, I would probably still program a lot. 1132,1565573204,If you build your entire game around Unity, or in Unity, then you aren't making progress towards making your own game engine. 1133,1565573561,0.2 Witnesses is still a substantial amount of work, but it's tractable. 1134,1565575065,Any time you can speed up your program by a factor of 20, you did a good job that day. It maybe because you did a bad job on previous days, but you did a good job that day when you sped your program up by 20...if it's still correct. 1135,1565577410,I had a plan. And a canal. Panama! 1136,1565765529,I don't know. $20 million isn't enough. That's only $4 million a year. I mean that's find when you're a youngster 1137,1566075766,We'll give slowpokes six minutes to get here, 1138,1566076127,Then we had this thing where we decided to switch to phones because it's much better to type on phones and create content on phones. 1139,1566076441,We will start in 1.173265 minutes. 1140,1566081713,You get reasonable error messages for some definition of reasonable. 1141,1566083253,I apologize, but it's the Web. 1142,1566241446,Most lines of code are pollution. 1143,1566267064,If you really wanna weight lift, you should eat a lot of pizzas. 1144,1566268926,Yeah, I just live in some other reality. 1145,1566442861,Video games: they often don't make a lot of sense. 1146,1567392833,I mean, who doesn't want a game where you slalom flowers? 1147,1567457176,I don't know. I think i quit video games and go into financial management now. 1148,1568357524,People could be watching the squad! 1149,1569993340,I think the next feature is we hang out in chat for a little bit. 1150,1570082022,At some point we're going to rewrite all this. It might not be before shipping the game. 1151,1570510907,That's almost, like, not totally unreasonable. 1152,1571206994,Yeah, I worked on The Witness a little bit. 1153,1571208022,People are basically crazy. 1154,1571553133,It's like this, but it's not like this. 1155,1572718103,Coroutines are great until they're not, at which point they're horrible. 1156,1573967509,I'm not a fan of cancel culture, but undefined behavior culture needs to get cancelled by cancel culture. 1157,1573917120,Computers can do tens of things - it's the year 2020. Although the Windows console is kinda slow. 1158,1575003466,Freedom isn't free, it costs a buck-o-nine, as you know. 1159,1575088867,The most interesting computational work is not being done in Javascript. 1160,1575254193,How do I only have hovering rock syndrome when time goes slow? 1161,1575256591,If you think that sounds reasonable, you already have Stockholm syndrome. 1162,1575344072,I give them an 8 out of 10 at trying to be Apple, packaging-wise. 1163,1575347025,You're a computer nerd, you're never going to want that cable to be rolled up again. Screw you, buddy. 1164,1575352510,The VR isn't making this better. In fact it's making it worse. 1165,1575702927,I'm a computer scientist gamer for life and I can't buy a music pack from Steam. 1166,1575874988,I don't know which Visual Studio this is. 1167,1575877956,I heard that Apple is doing okay, financially. I'm not sure if that's true. 1168,1577773432,Computers are over. 1169,1577822605,C++ is the king of bad names for standard components. 1170,1577823361,Baby Yoda is not going to succeed in the game industry. 1171,1577823443,At this point I may have channeled all the wisdom that I know how to give about how to succeed in the game industry. 1172,1577939441,Oh, oh. Got little beef jerkies in my keyboard. 1173,1577942213,Dude, isn't that going to be terrible? At some point, if game programming is unionized, there'll be a thing that says you CAN'T do more than 10 lines of code a day. 1174,1578203311,This is just The Sims with guns. 1175,1580662780,It's like Twitch wants to be Idiocracy. 1176,1584646445,I just wanted to do work today, and this is how computers reward me for that. 1177,1584743151,Beam turd 1178,1585020996,This was from a Polaroid camera that one of the event organizer had and its very hipster, like the pictures come out pre-sepia toned and faded which I guess is part of the appeal of having a Polaroid camera. 1179,1585035713,Sometimes in life you have to miss something really good. 1180,1585105698,Saying ideas is not worth that much. You have to do the ideas in a way that actually works. 1181,1585189002,Valve does not really believe in game design, in my opinion. 1182,1585203598,My meat is culling incorrectly. 1183,1585275308,No hints! I'm trying to play the game as God intended. 1184,1585290537,Some people want to beat their head against a brick wall really hard over and over until they succeed. And some people just want a sooth ride with no challenge and those latter people will never amount to anything in life but that's still what they want, so let them choose that. 1185,1585375166,All journalists are tabloid journalists these days, broh. 1186,1585446998,This is the natural eigenvector of twitch chat. 1187,1586039728,We have a superpower. Our superpower is that we're old. 1188,1586054933,I wish I had some parameters I could tweak that were the make-it-look-good parameters. 1189,1586408799,Life has taught me that the masses have poor taste in many things, and if you just cater to what you think that taste is, you probably won't create things that are very special. 1190,1586649963,I feel like I'm losing 50 IQ points per text. 1191,1586650233,I've been running out of my favorite flavors of quarantea. 1192,1586652132,It's The Talos Laser. 1193,1586652634,I"ve never seen an indie game with colored beams. [/sarc] 1194,1586734210,In that way that the universe is complicated and surprising and will mess you up, we can't just do that. 1195,1586737012,You don't ever want to design Portal 2 if you can help it. 1196,1586913802,If you want to succeed in the game industry, just succeed in the game industry. 1197,1587244980,We are going to break everything today, and it's gonna be Awesome. 1198,1587245607,I didn't pay thousands of dollars for this program to do your janitorial work for you. 1199,1587245909,Visual Studio makes me dislike programming so much that I'm going to eat a large bag of Reese's Pieces and get fat and die. 1200,1587249154,Usually I'm afraid of commitment, but now I'm finally ready. 1201,1587252460,I'll get really annoyed and fire everybody and shut down the company and cancel all the games. 1202,1587254131,I don't feel that our problem with computers right now is that our mobile bandwidth is not high enough. 1203,1587255125,We do not order pineapple on pizza in this house. 1204,1587348222,cmuratori: Look we need to talk about monads in Go (gonads), etc. 1205,1587351569,I'm smoking crack. 1206,1587688376,Saying that your programming language is self-hosting and that that's a big deal and that that's worth telling people about, that's like driving an old rusty Hyundai to work, like you bought a used Hyundai, not even a new Hyundai, know what I mean? 1207,1587796502,Mouse-wheel to switch weapons is a crime against humanity. Don't ever do it if you make a game. 1208,1587604920,Real life is not that good of a game. Real life is a really unfair game that is very slow and tedious. 1209,1587864240,I see how you could disagree. You'd be wrong, but I see how you could disagree. 1210,1587992340,I can't say "UB" except in sarcasm quotes, I'm sorry. 1211,1587995280,See, we were good, we're a good person. We were Gallant right there. Gallant comments his things that will not be obvious to people when they look at the code. 1212,1588046322,If you want to succeed in the game industry, capitalize the letter 'K'. 1213,1588358982,No, I need tea! How are we ever going to get back under fifty thousand [LOC] if I don't have tea? 1214,1588363475,If you start doing modern template meta-programming to do the equivalent of this, you're going to have a un-understandable disaster very quickly. 1215,1588367173,If you want to succeed in the game industry, compile your compiler before you compile your thing with your compiler. 1216,1588288680,If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't put the next instruction in the middle of the current instruction. 1217,1588380024,We did the wrong thing. How is this even working? 1218,1588399365,32-bit numbers seem so small now.! They're so quaint. 1219,1588422840,I can already feel today I'm at like about a 50% brainpower day. Which is not that bad. Like you can get a lot done on a 50% brainpower day, but I can already tell this is taking me longer to figure out than it should. 1220,1588422870,See, I just had to turn on part of my brain. It could have taken me two more hours of plodding through this kind of debugging. 1221,1588451126,This is getting to be a very deep rabbit hole very fast. [...] At this point you give up, you stop programming and you play video games. 1222,1588452037,That's how you debug, okay? You don't plod through in the debugger until you see exactly the tiny thing that goes wrong. You do it until you get a picture of the situation and use that picture of the situation combined with your knowledge of what your trying to do and the knowledge of the system as a whole to jump to conclusions. You want to jump to conclusions. 1223,1588422900,Therefore, press F to pay respects. [...] I feel like the majority of our streaming audience does have respect. 1224,1588460694,We can't have a code deletion party on an empty stomach. 1225,1588461377,I hate to say it, we're going to have to delete our deletions, and start over. 1226,1588464598,We deleted all the code that makes the CPU keep us warm by spinning all the time. 1227,1588468723,I'm dying of old age while we're waiting for a breakpoint to hit. 1228,1588469198,Microservices is one of those trendy things that in five years, people won't be doing anymore. 1229,1588470918,Thank you! I'm quitting video games and all programming for ever. The end. 1230,1588471495,So Lana's still up. She looks kind of tired, so let's raid her. 1231,1588475342,Sometimes your game is better when it uses more pixels. That's just how it is. 1232,1588545615,Well, we printed some pointers. I hope you enjoyed those pointers. 1233,1588517700,It's the year two-thousand and twenty. I have a new desktop PC which was delivered to me in the year two-thousand and twenty that cost $3000 at least and I can't edit, in emacs, in real-time a file that's half a megabyte. I'm not talking about pasting half a megabyte. I'm taking about pasting ten characters into the middle of half a megabyte. Dude, I can copy half a megabyte I don't know how many frames per second, [..] but it's a lot of frames per second. This software is so broken! 1234,1588518060,If you're a JavaScript programmer who works at Facebook you're going to be fired in ten years, so it doesn't matter. 1235,1588518180,The job of an editor is to let me edit my text file! 1236,1588557098,Reading other people's websites about entity systems is wrong. 1237,1588562459,Usually when you have an array its full of stuff ... you know. 1238,1588643697,Maybe he was at a conference and kinda drunk when he said that. 1239,1588649354,If you want to succeed in the game industry, put the binary [in the distribution]. 1240,1588829042,I need brain chai. 1241,1588991143,I would almost rather be programming in buttlang than C++ right now. 1242,1588993629,If you're smart, you might never be as bad as JavaScript, but you don't want any java cooties ... you don't want those in your language. 1243,1588999467,Let's see if this gets me banned from twitch. 1244,1589086919,If you want to succeed in the games industry, do not forget the body arrow. 1245,1589089081,[Casey] Why do all the games have to be bad? 1246,1589260139,I don't know how much happiness is worth. Isn't that the story of life? 1247,1589426849,Working with Unreal Engine is like doing your taxes every day for the rest of your life. 1248,1590637606,If you're not ignoring most of C++, you're doing it wrong. 1249,1590637619,Run far, far away from any web site that says modern C++ and you'll be fine. 1250,1590640501,If you just keep doing nuggets, you will succeed in the game industry, almost guaranteed. Just nuggets. You just keep nuggeting. 1251,1590641910,Do we support nullable types? Why yes, you can set pointers to null! 1252,1590870861,If you want to succeed in the game industry, use both the i and j coordinates, don't just use the j coordinate, 'cause then your river won't flow in the right places. 1253,1590876735,This is officially the last time I use Uber eats. 1254,1590968034,At least it crashes really fast. 1255,1591158272,Dude, we have so many if statements here, we just need to burn down most of them. This is crazy. 1256,1591218602,If you want to succeed in the game industry, edit the input file not the output file. 1257,1591513159,What is this C# .... They wanted this to be as slow as possible 1258,1591562282,All I want to be able to do is output a red pixel from a particle. That is all that I want to be able to do and it's going to take an hour and that's why programming is bad. 1259,1591562373,Well, it didn't take an hour to output red. 1260,1591566940,I need to set the bozo bit on myself because my gradient doesn't work. 1261,1591569497,This looks good to me, for some definition of good. 1262,1591589769,I don't know guys. I'm ready to give up on game development right now. It was a good run. 1263,1591658489,If you want to succeed in the game industry, you have to remove the "times five hundred". 1264,1591664578,We need to bring back villains that say "You have failed me for the last time." 1265,1591665894,People ask me, "How do you succeed in the video game industry?" What do you do to give your game that little bit of extra bit of magic that other games aren't going to have to make people really notice your game and want to play it and tell their friends about it years from now. How do you do this? The answer is, when you add the phase shift, based on position, use croissant-uv instead of just linear-uv. 1266,1591831496,You have to decide to get serious. 1267,1591838537,We're doing this the efficient programmer way, but we could do this the modern programmer way. 1268,1591842630,If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't ship a game where the players see purple 'X's. 1269,1591921762,If I can't make games anymore because I'm going senile, we had a good run. 1270,1592115710,If you wanna succeed in the game industry, call update_hefts(). Don't just call update_nudges(). That's not good enough. 1271,1592279005,If there's one thing that there's not enough of on the internet and that we need more of it's memes. There just aren't enough memes. 1272,1592434633,Normally I eat a lot of chocolate. I haven't done that lately because I'm traveling, but I might have to have some chocolate for tonight. I think it is good for the mind. 1273,1592458948,If you want to succeed in the game industry, put the 'u' in 'guy'. Put the 'U' in 'GUY! 1274,1592550621,Do I like games that would be played by people from the Idiocracy? Not really. 1275,1592628873,If you want to succeed in the game industry, you have to make it so that you actually have to blow up the block to get to the exit. 1276,1592630768,You'll die in the fire, so that's a minor problem with that plan. 1277,1592805897,If you want to succeed in the game industry, write the code. All of it. All of it, not just part of it. 1278,1592846652,If you want to succeed the game industry don't leave the teapot spout whistler thing open or else it won't whistle. 1279,1592871511,Oh my god, guys. If you want to succeed the game industry, save your level. Pulitzer prize winning level. Not that the Pulitzer prize is worth anything anymore, but still. 1280,1593373320,I can't believe people in chat are having a discussion about how long lines of code should be, maximum. What better way is there to prevent yourself from programming something useful and good that would help the world? 1281,1593373330,Why don't you guys start talking about what colors you should use for Javascript syntax highlighting. I really would like to know that. What size protobufs should you use in order to get maximum syntax highlighting for Javascript? 1282,1593373392,I think that if your IQ is less than 7, you will have a hard time finishing the game. I think that is a true statement. An IQ of more than 7 is not a guarantee of finishing the game, because as we know, standardized tests do not exactly correlate with real world performance, so... 1283,1593374871,I'm sure glad I waited a month to fix that! 1284,1593388834,No! Infinity is not that high of a number. It's just seven, ef eight zero, zero zero zero zero. There's no Zeno's paradox there. Infinity is eight digits long guys. Eight digits! 1285,1593389574,We don't FU in this language. 1286,1593187200,I can't wait until this is done and I can start working on an operating system! 1287,1593187260,Honestly I have way too much to do but I might, just as a learning experience, poke around and make try to make something boot in a VM sometime just to do it. Like, that would be fun. I really shouldn't do that. I have so many things to do. But like, oh my God, I'm so tired of everything. 1288,1593191400,Hear me out here, my idea for an operating system is that it should be obvious and clear which window has the focus and will respond to your keyboard input, okay? I know this is a revolutionary idea, but I think it's time has come. 1289,1593287820,If you want to succeed in the game industry, make your arguments arguments, and not return values. 1290,1594348021,You're not allowed to criticize reasonable users for being confused by a bad ui. 1291,1594348938,C is what you retreat to after you've been too badly abused by C++. 1292,1594353932,Let's face it, aioli IS mayonnaise, it's just pretending not to be. And it's just not as good as regular mayonnaise. 1293,1593515220,Okay, see. Look. You just keep making random changes to your code. It's eventually correct. That's how you program. Especially if you use the unity game engine. 1294,1594851881,If you want to be a good programmer, use the speed parameter. And I don't mean snort speed... 1295,1595134348,We have string metaphors. I mean, we do have string figuratives also, but people say string figurative when they mean string literal, so we just gave up and made string figuratives and string literals be the same thing. And so when we did that, we had to make string metaphors, which are the old semantics of string figuratives. 1296,1595137693,Semicolon expected after a declaration. That's the worst error message in the universe! 1297,1595140982,No wonder I'm so slow today. I'm at 30Hz. It's not going to go above 30. This is communist, guys. 1298,1593634500,I kind of feel like the year 2021 is the year for a Pepsiman remake. 1299,1593635220,I mean I kind of 10% of the way want to make a Pepsiman sequel now. 1300,1595476213,When you buttify, you have to spread. 1301,1596604330,If you want to succeed in the game industry, call update(). 1302,1596764120,Game development consists 100% of problems in the most generic sense. 1303,1597610198,Yeah, why would you program and design video games, when you can be a moose. I mean, think about it. 1304,1597801350,If you want to succeed in the game industry, you need to do more than comment. You need to actually write. 1305,1598739970,Null is not an option here. 1306,1598743243,I was wondering why chat was reasonably pleasant. 1307,1598744458,This is good, we understand the universe now. 1308,1598744953,I mean Visual Studio is bad, but VSCode is like playschool Visual Studio. Like, I don't... I don't even... 1309,1599512922,So we're just making a little stack on the stack. I heard you like stacks so I made a stack on your stack so you can stack on your stack while you stack. 1310,1599514402,How about if I go back to programming, like it says in the stream title. Wouldn't that be a good thing? For everybody. 1311,1599589169,See, to fix your program all you have to do is remove the printf's. It's serious high-end, elite programming. 1312,1600902024,I'm sorry, but I'm too busy working on a compiler to invent Wonka Vision. 1313,1600906944,All you have to do to make assert work is look up the spec for a file format and type in a ton of definitions. And then you can assert. That is how software works. You can't assert unless you do that. 1314,1600931753,If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't be a zero. 1315,1600979457,If you want to succeed in the game industry, return an integer. 1316,1600995600,The way that I succeed in life is keeping everything as absolutely simple as possible, right? Which often is quite complicated. 1317,1601427521,Don't you know I went to the Black Dynamite School of Elevator Programming? 1318,1601451512,Okay. This is ass. 1319,1601510274,I think I drink more tea than any other being in the universe. 1320,1601510435,I drink tea out of Winnie the Pooh mugs, which is not even legal in large parts of Asia. 1321,1601520945,If you want to succeed in the game industry, do not rip-a-rooni. 1322,1601609404,printf() has the 'F' for paying respects built in. That's how smart the makers of the C programming language were. 1323,1601781993,I just want to compile a program. This is the simplest thing in programming. If you can't compile a program, you can't do programming. 1324,1602645052,If you want to succeed in the game industry, do not reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. 1325,1602742448,If you've ever been volunteered to clean up the kitchen after a long night at the range, go ahead and smash that subscribe button. 1326,1602819585,We're in C++ so we have to say "++". That's the rule. 1327,1602897399,"Index Index" is the name of my new band. 1328,1602898285,"Return Return". That's the name of my new programming language. 1329,1602899074,128 bit boolean! I mean, sometimes you need to make sure that you have enough digits of accuracy in your boolean. That's just how it is. 1330,1602992482,If you want to succeed in the games industry, don't files=1. 1331,1603091824,If you want to succeed in the game industry, put the code that's supposed to be outside the loop, outside the loop. Do you understand? 1332,1603159066,My favorite person in the games industry is Reverta Williams. 1333,1603416590,Syntax error: IQ too low. 1334,1603503938,If you want to succeed in the games industry, you have to be ready to snack. 1335,1603852989,If you guys are not willing to read this much, this programming language is not for you. 1336,1603855620,What's 30 Braids in decibels is what you guys should be asking. 1337,1603939346,But if you had nullable non-nullable types and algebraic mafingamabobbers then the manifold of the closure of the monad would have euler number 6. 1338,1604029581,If you know the z-whatevering algorithm, you've pretty much mastered video games. 1339,1604118655,The people who wrote the (graphics device) drivers are a lot like current people running for president in that they don't give and f-k about you at all and don't care how hard of a time you have, and make your life needlessly painful. That is what I don't like about OpenGL. 1340,1604206986,In Europe they also don't know what ice tea is, so you can't trust Europeans about food. 1341,1604722136,He should make it $300/hour. Then everybody will be rich. Why are politicians so stupid? Just make the minimum wage $300 an hour. Every single American will just make tons of money. Everyone will be happy. It's so easy to solve these problems. 1342,1605399731,If you want to succeed in the game industry..... ahhhh 1343,1605414482,If you want to succeed in the game industry, fail. 1345,1606506240,If you want to succeed in the game industry, know someone who has 3 million dollars. 1346,1606506483,If you want to succeed in the game industry, just know someone that has three million dollars and walks up to you and says "Here, have three million dollars." And you go "Okay, thank you." .. Actually no, that's not really, .. cause most people would proceed to completely lose the three million dollars. That's not how it actually works. 1347,1606604398,Everybody, that is the state of gaming on Linux: Pascal Penguin. 1348,1606605814,We're basically three times as good as par. 1349,1606627415,Bug fixing makes me hungry. 1350,1606628494,Why does my web cam look so nice? That's just me. I look really nice. So ... I just make everything good. 1351,1606631557,Sometimes I can program, even when I'm tired and punchy. 1352,1606676364,If it doesn't solve a real problem, you don't want to do it. 1353,1606685429,Just learn to talk like a robot, and you too can write compiler error messages. 1354,1606706592,Kids, don't use macros. They're dangerous. 1355,1606707586,If you want to succeed in the games industry, don't typo the thing that you're searching for. 1356,1606713231,Remember when I said that? Sometimes people say things, but then the way they live their life is not concomitant with the values that they express vocally. They say clean your room, but is their room clean? And so forth. I basically did that here. 1357,1606713602,I turn 20 next year and I have an excellent memory. ... I totally lost my train of thought of why I was saying that. but I was saying it for a reason. 1358,1606716755,We are three times as far into the future as Max Headroom ever was. That's all I'm going to say about that. 1359,1606808382,If you want to succeed in the game industry, program better than I do. Alright? That's all I have to say. 1360,1607048693,We should just call this game "Push, push, push," and then people will think it's a pregnancy simulator. 1361,1607214230,And C++ just said "Hold my beer" and made a ton of extremely more unfortunate decisions. 1362,1607225531,I'm planting the succeeds of my success in the game industry. If you want to succeed in the game industry, YOU HAVE TO SAVE THE FILE!! You have to save the file. That is pretty much a hundred percent guaranteed prerequisite. 1363,1607226912,If you want to succeed in the game industry, name your flags the right thing. 1364,1608001621,If you want to succeed in the games industry use the flag word that you meant to use, not the other one. 1365,1607965680,Cpp is a programming language. It is named after the C programming language, but it's like when you're using C but you also really have to go to the bathroom, that's when you use cpp. 1366,1608246846,If you want to succeed in the game industry, after you do the pop-count you should store the result in the target register, otherwise it will not be correct. 1367,1610658234,Hey kids, if you wanna succeed in the game industry, don't divide by zero sixteen times at the start of every function. That's just a pro tip for you. I mean you might feel the need to be thorough to divide by zero of all kinds of different sizes just to make sure that you get all the zeros. 1368,1610658401,When you cast an integer to another size, you should cast the integer to the other size. THAT is my tip of how to succeed in the game industry that overrides all previous tips previously ever given, except any tip about getting good. 1369,1610753454,If you want to succeed in the game industry, do not mess up the rotates. It will not result in success. 1370,1610997381,They call me Reverta Williams, game developer. 1371,1611075099,If I decide to make ill-advised purchases later, I'll get three of those. 1372,1611204783,This caching is mostly working. But as you know, there's a big difference between mostly working, and all working. 1373,1611211884,It's probably very simple, and therefore will take five hours to find. 1374,1611213845,If you want to succeed in the gains industry, you gotta git gud. 1375,1611351724,The computer will not move the electrons around unless you use getters and setters. It just won't do it. The integrated circuit chips, the CPU clock will not oscillate up and down unless you call a getter. 1376,1611355635,Don't make mistakes. They are costly! 1377,1611683242,If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't be a lose. 1378,1611864514,The reason "DevOps" is popular is because it sounds like you're a secret agent or something, whereas "system administrator" sounds like you're a secretary that's why. That is the only reason. 1379,1612068567,This is going to be so stupid, it's amazing. 1380,1612577672,How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat? 1381,1612725147,This is a job for compile time execution, guys! 1382,1612727649,JavaScript pays your bills for now? Yes, but it doesn't pay for the sadness you'll feel in twenty years when you look back and say, "I could have been a contender." 1383,1612740415,It looks so bad! It's like a web developer that made this font. 1384,1613079125,We gotta return the string, guys, otherwise we ain't going to succeed in the games industry. 1385,1613080104,Okay, look at all the log prints. DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Log Prints. This is why it's going to be a little grindy. 1386,1613087551,If you wanna succeed in the game industry, don't drop your 'optional' on the floor. 1387,1613419800,I started doing it at 4 in the morning, so you know it's high quality work. 1388,1613419896,Sometimes clicking "start streaming" button is my way to get myself to start doing things that are useful. 1389,1613424471,We do not make progress by merely by complaining about all the bad programmers, we also make progress by implementing useful functionality in a powerful way that works robustly, and so we shall continue to do that now. 1390,1613424791,I don't see anyone solving hard problems with a package manager. I see them pooping out Stack Overflow code. Show me the hard problems! 1391,1614060770,"Pitch" just reminds me of the black tar of code that I do not want to get stuck in. 1392,1614062143,There comes a time when you have eaten all the chocolates, and there are no more chocolates. It is a very sad time. 1393,1614062385,Grapefruit is gross. I don't understand why anyone would ever eat a grapefruit. It doesn't make any sense to me. 1394,1614062614,It's just like any other thing in programming, there's an infinite amount of work that could go into improving it. 1395,1614195386,I mean, there's nothing wrong with a job at Applebees, that's real work. But if you wanted to be programming, it's not ideal. 1396,1614198204,If I were writing games, I would definitely write them in INTERCAL and not C++. 1397,1614218181,If you want to succeed in the game industry, it is not enough to merely create an init function...you gotta call it. 1398,1614226612,I tried to go to the GL Pixel store and buy the right pixels. 1399,1614520500,Back in the mists of time, the great programmers of the past understood these issues and the lame programmers of today, including me forgot. 1400,1614734497,You don't want to be a GTA developer, that's all I'm saying. 1401,1615029060,Any time you can put less stuff in your level, it's probably a good idea. 1402,1615864377,If you want to succeed in the games industry, pass the parameter. 1403,1615864857,"Bad Signature" is the name of my new band. 1404,1616725225,In the year 2021 people expect to be able to make arrays of strings in their programming language. I don't know why. I don't know why they think that, but they do. 1405,1617843740,So somebody left the oven on when they left the apartment and it was someone in polymorph. It was one of these three lines. 1406,1619385036,If you want to succeed in the games industry, do not put return instead of continue. 1407,1619495315,You're not going to win the Tour de France with training wheels on your bicycle. That's just not a .. thing. Anyone who thinks they should go compete in the Tour de France with training wheels on their bicycle clearly has no competition experience. Now clearly you can make an argument that they should, 'cause look, if you fall over during the race, that's really bad, and the training wheels will keep you from falling over. It's a mistake 1408,1621655108,Why can't life just be me eating ice cream? 1409,1622482670,If you want to succeed in the games industry, multiply by x. 1410,1622678399,If you want to succeed in the games industry, sometimes you have to drive to the office at midnight. 1411,1624164467,In real life, I know if I'm doing well or not by whether a space whale swims by. That's how I know. 1412,1624379023,You can choose not respond to something, but the problem is you've perceived the thing, and it has disturbed your tranquility. 1413,1626233693,If you want to succeed in the games industry, do not leave your very important results in a local variable. 1414,1626318310,Fourteen lines of code. That is 1.4 industry standard work days that we just wrote and then deleted. GGs! 1415,1627336585,Why do I even internet? 1416,1627533568,That was actually quite easy, but my brain didn't brain. 1417,1630127346,Now we know how to play Myst! 1418,1630991225,I can at least retire knowing that I had Marvin in my video game. 1419,1632717827,Okay, kids, definitely steal. 1420,1633068812,I'm too high for this pegging. 1421,1633803850,If you want to succeed in the game industry, implement and increment the loop variable. Do both of those things. 1422,1633815253,Everyone's worried about AI taking over, ... but magic wands in all these programs suck. 1423,1635307886,Crystal slot, that's the name of my new band. 1424,1635901421,If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't program in the wrong language. 1425,1637862038,Fact check this pizza! 1426,1637864973,It's not enough in the games industry to pass the parameter, you also have to use the parameter. 1427,1642223002,If you want to succeed in the games industry, push the whopper button. 1428,1645162061,What kind of idiot dedicates their life to video games? I don't even understand how I ended up here. 1429,1646079410,Microsoft thinks that them updating Windows with things that I don't care about and probably will make my computer work worse and make it slower is more important than me getting work done and delivering value to the people. I think Microsoft is owned by Vladimir Putin at this point. 1430,1648087322,Sometimes you have to go to the Michelin 3-star restaurant in your underwear to find the bug. 1431,1648605089,You know how they say there's Covid toe? I wonder if there's Covid left-half-of-back-of-your-neck. 1432,1651974622,Do you know any other programming stream on twitch dot tv where they put the lotion in the basket so consistently? I think not. 1433,1651974755,Dude, I own the company. If people aren't going to read that comment, they don't have a job. You don't understand. 1434,1652149907,Now if we were a smart web developer and were using JSON, it would take like 5 seconds to load 167MB JSON so we would notice that we were doing that every frame, but because we are fast game programmers, we don't even f**ing break a sweat loading a 167MB file so we are literally doing that every frame. 1435,1658543874,We have too many red fives standing by. 1436,1661710099,It's got the Mona Lisa on it, that's how you know it's good. 1437,1663906335,Sometimes it's just best to make your problems go away, you know? 1438,1665683416,If you were Mickey Rooney, how would you debug this program? 1439,1665686018,If you want to succeed in the games industry, don't work for Adobe. 1440,1668623400,Bro, we shipped Braid on Linux. It was a f_ing disaster. It's a huge a mount of effort - it's like the most high-maintenance girlfriend ever, except she also hates you. Is she hot, though? No! No. She looks like a penguin. 1441,1669174868,My will to live is rapidly leaving my body. 1442,1669784276,If you're going to Pomodoro, 150 minutes is a pretty good interval period. I don't know what people recommend usually. I think it's a couple minutes less than a hundred and fifty. 1443,1670205757,You know, I sure hope honey doesn't have any calories in it. 1444,1670210626,Spammy in Miami - it's the sequel to Sleepless in Seattle. 1445,1670646487,If you have your caps-lock key bound to caps-lock, you're not a serious programmer. 1446,1677951749,The job of a macro is to be more dirty than a function. 1447,1682906608,Refrozen ice cream? That's a crime against humanity! 1448,1682947692,If you got no cowabunga, how are you gonna get anywhere in life? 1449,1684728153,If you want to succeed in the programming industry, eat ice cream. 1450,1688406035,I trust that as far as I can throw it. Because it's just bits, I can't throw it very far. 1451,1689195780,You know we're programming in C++ now, boy! Just look at all these errors! 1452,1689195900,It's because I didn't put a semicolon. We just fixed 500 errors by putting a semicolon because C++. 1453,1689196020,If you want to succeed in the games industry, ... you gotta change the name of the symbol. 1454,1689198000,I mean, we would do Cowabunga, but due to a conspiracy, several of the letters in Cowabunga were not approved for use in hexadecimal number encoding. 1455,1689319440,Isn't that interesting how much of making your programming thing successful in the world is propaganda and mind control? Like you make this called smart pointers, and because people want to be smart and don't want to look dumb, everybody says, "Yeah, I like smart pointers", whereas if you had called them smelly-foot pointers, people probably wouldn't want to use them really. 1456,1691903454,And always remember, if you want to succeed in the games industry, compare the variable against minus one. 1457,1699763053,Any game where you have a Tetris squiggle can't be all bad. 1458,1703705668,If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't ask for advice and then duck out of the stream when the answer comes. 1459,1703707857,You have to compile the compiler if you want to succeed in the compiler industry. 1460,1704569826,Here's where we bust out the spicy meme. 1461,1705208391,Callbacks are for people who don't want their programs to run smoothly. 1462,1705278037,Why are they making a new Top Gun movie? Because Tom Cruise defeated the Death Star in the last one, and now he needs to face the AT-AT walkers.