354 |
wow i was really on drugs when i did this |
2018-02-16 |
|
355 |
well isnt that amazing look at oh fuck |
2018-02-16 |
|
484 |
this guy has zero viewers. No camera, no audio... But, y'know! |
2018-07-19 |
|
235 |
svn commit -m "Started implementing Knack 3 for the $$$$$$ franchise MEGABUX" |
2017-08-16 |
|
706 |
std::vector. Sign of quality. |
2018-09-24 |
|
1322 |
printf() has the 'F' for paying respects built in. That's how smart the makers of the C programming language were. |
2020-10-02 |
|
337 |
oh that's it, I see what I'm sayin' |
2018-02-06 |
|
384 |
it's a webpage! of course it doesn't work! |
2018-05-26 |
|
526 |
find_visual_studio_in_a_ridiculous_garbage_way :: () { |
2018-08-30 |
|
1204 |
cmuratori: Look we need to talk about monads in Go (gonads), etc. |
2020-04-20 |
|
1045 |
\q+ Somebody give me an operating system that doesn't close all my programs every random() MOD 8 number of nights, and that actually works! |
2019-04-06 |
|
1087 |
[doing a Jedi handwave] You do not want to go in that direction, says the game. |
2019-07-21 |
|
560 |
[On the Windows Store, looking at Candy Crush clones] Look, all these games are 4 stars or above. These are great games! |
2018-09-02 |
|
173 |
[Jon] You don't look particularly hidden right now. [tek256] I'm in the shadows, I--Oh god! [gunshots] |
2017-07-25 |
|
870 |
[Jai] For Dummies has a single page, but it doesn't say "get out", it says "git gud." |
2018-10-18 |
|
1033 |
[In Zambia] The truck driver was trying to smuggle us past the 12-year old gang members with assault rifles. It was a pretty complete Africa experience. We rode on the truck with like 16 people piled into it. |
2019-02-27 |
|
176 |
[Devon] I'm at peak manifestation right now. |
2017-07-25 |
|
310 |
[Chris] Someone's trying to, uh... kill you, I guess. |
2018-01-29 |
|
183 |
[Casey] You know, I just realized crossbow spoonerizes to boss crow. |
2017-07-26 |
|
1245 |
[Casey] Why do all the games have to be bad? |
2020-05-10 |
|
364 |
[Casey] We haven't even been given a goal, and we already have more items than a Costco. |
2018-04-14 |
|
274 |
[Casey] Pube-g is happening. |
2018-01-06 |
|
181 |
[Casey] It's an unsolved problem in computer science to know whether or not you can see somebody. |
2017-07-26 |
|
178 |
[Casey] I regret to inform the academy that I still do not have a firearm. |
2017-07-26 |
|
152 |
[Casey] I bought Youtube Red for that reason too. [Jon] I bought Redtube for that reason too. |
2017-07-22 |
|
179 |
[Casey] I am literally stuck in a fucking pool. |
2017-07-26 |
|
153 |
Your microaggressions disturb me. |
2017-07-22 |
|
590 |
Your argument is not valid, as Reddit users would say. |
2018-09-03 |
|
1407 |
You're not going to win the Tour de France with training wheels on your bicycle. That's just not a .. thing. Anyone who thinks they should go compete in the Tour de France with training wheels on their bicycle clearly has no competition experience. Now clearly you can make an argument that they should, 'cause look, if you fall over during the race, that's really bad, and the training wheels will keep you from falling over. It's a mistake |
2021-04-27 |
|
1290 |
You're not allowed to criticize reasonable users for being confused by a bad ui. |
2020-07-10 |
|
515 |
You're just bothering me with information that's not correct, Microsoft people who think you're really smart. ... I don't know why everyone at Microsoft isn't fired at this point. |
2018-08-27 |
|
1163 |
You're a computer nerd, you're never going to want that cable to be rolled up again. Screw you, buddy. |
2019-12-03 |
|
22 |
You'll go bananas trying to deal with this problem. |
2016-07-25 |
|
1276 |
You'll die in the fire, so that's a minor problem with that plan. |
2020-06-20 |
|
813 |
You'll be sorry you landed the same place I landed. Unless I fuck up, in which case you won't be sorry. |
2018-10-15 |
|
378 |
You would be donating in decibels, obviously. In gamma-corrected decibels. |
2018-05-26 |
|
348 |
You will respect my velocity! |
2018-02-11 |
|
598 |
You totally couldn't do this in caveman days. |
2018-09-04 |
|
910 |
You should be constantly evaluating what you think you know, and modifying it based on your experience. |
2018-11-12 |
|
1060 |
You put your ass in the chair, you DO IT, and then you have something to feel good about. |
2019-04-14 |
|
128 |
You might say "7 instructions, that sounds like a lot", but it's way way less than taking a cache miss, bucko! |
2017-05-25 |
|
298 |
You may ask yourself, "where did my shadowmap go?" |
2018-01-16 |
|
940 |
You know. Kitten, bunny, squirrel. |
2018-11-24 |
|
317 |
You know, sometimes you just can't run rc.exe. And you need to do some gaming. |
2018-02-04 |
|
1006 |
You know, sometimes people as me how do you get into the game industry, how do you really succeed? And I say the answer is don't snake, snake, but sometimes even I'm not able to avoid snake, snaking apparently, so maybe I just have to quit. Maybe my life is sad. |
2019-01-03 |
|
1443 |
You know, I sure hope honey doesn't have any calories in it. |
2022-12-05 |
|
639 |
You know, I bet that when you win in this game it doesn't even say chicken dinner. It probably says like, "Sitrep: you were the only one left alive." |
2018-09-16 |
|
896 |
You know who was on the Visual Studio programming team? Ali G. Here's when he was consulting with the Visual Studio team on designing the interface: [plays video of Ali G saying "nine nine nine nine nine..."] He was an intern at Microsoft when they were wondering how many zeroes to put here. |
2018-10-22 |
|
1099 |
You know when you look under your bed and there's like hairballs and cat barf because you had a cat 10 years ago and it died and you never cleaned under your bed, that's what we're doing right now. Or like you forgot you had a cat, and there's a dead cat under the bed? You're like "Oh, that's what's been going on." |
2019-07-29 |
|
1451 |
You know we're programming in C++ now, boy! Just look at all these errors! |
2023-07-12 |
|
1431 |
You know how they say there's Covid toe? I wonder if there's Covid left-half-of-back-of-your-neck. |
2022-03-30 |
|
488 |
You have to understand that there are a lot of programming subcultures, and they all call the same set of 5 ideas 17 different things. |
2018-07-29 |
|
192 |
You have to make sure your thing is good, so you know it's worth people's time. |
2017-07-27 |
|
1266 |
You have to decide to get serious. |
2020-06-10 |
|
1459 |
You have to compile the compiler if you want to succeed in the compiler industry. |
2023-12-27 |
|
417 |
You have a certain limited band of frequencies, and if you put waves that exceed the Nyquist limit, then nobody's gonna be able to decode it. That's what bandwidth is: it's the fact that your connection is a TUBE. |
2018-05-29 |
|
1140 |
You get reasonable error messages for some definition of reasonable. |
2019-08-17 |
|
976 |
You don't want your compiler to die on a thousand indie games. |
2018-12-23 |
|
1400 |
You don't want to be a GTA developer, that's all I'm saying. |
2021-03-03 |
|
341 |
You don't know exactly what a game is when you start it. |
2018-02-09 |
|
99 |
You don't have to finish Stephen's Sausage Roll, you're just missing possibly the greatest puzzle game of all time. It's your choice, man. |
2017-02-07 |
|
388 |
You don't get a car! And you don't get a car! And you don't get a car! |
2018-05-26 |
|
1195 |
You don't ever want to design Portal 2 if you can help it. |
2020-04-13 |
|
411 |
You didn't need to type bracket T typename fuckity fuck for every single one. |
2018-05-29 |
|
993 |
You can't say my opinion about clock cycles is wrong! |
2019-01-01 |
|
67 |
You can't multiply in C++ because it is a pointer dereference. |
2017-02-05 |
|
815 |
You can't balance a game that's full of garbage guns. |
2018-10-15 |
|
599 |
You can intend all day for your code to get fast and it won't actually get faster. |
2018-09-04 |
|
1412 |
You can choose not respond to something, but the problem is you've perceived the thing, and it has disturbed your tranquility. |
2021-06-22 |
|
161 |
Yeah. Let's play again and not die. |
2017-07-24 |
|
1303 |
Yeah, why would you program and design video games, when you can be a moose. I mean, think about it. |
2020-08-16 |
|
469 |
Yeah, this is kinda stinky. |
2018-06-06 |
|
275 |
Yeah, the chat is not some beacon of intellectual amazingness. |
2018-01-06 |
|
888 |
Yeah, the bar for quotes seem pretty low right now. |
2018-10-22 |
|
454 |
Yeah, that's just bad juju if we crash. |
2018-06-02 |
|
483 |
Yeah, minimalist is not a good excuse for "I didn't work very hard on this." |
2018-07-19 |
|
397 |
Yeah, don't read Hacker News about productivity. It's not a good source. |
2018-05-26 |
|
481 |
Yeah, decibels are worse than the Web. Except that, the web is more pervasive, so yeah. |
2018-07-19 |
|
1152 |
Yeah, I worked on The Witness a little bit. |
2019-10-16 |
|
671 |
Yeah, I learned how to do this on paper in grade school, guys. |
2018-09-21 |
|
1144 |
Yeah, I just live in some other reality. |
2019-08-20 |
|
56 |
Y'all ready to try an experiment? |
2017-02-02 |
|
991 |
Wrap everything in 17 smart pointers. |
2019-01-01 |
|
829 |
Wowsers. |
2018-10-15 |
|
2 |
Wow, I just ate something weird. |
2016-03-02 |
|
1247 |
Working with Unreal Engine is like doing your taxes every day for the rest of your life. |
2020-05-14 |
|
657 |
Without mobility and owning that guy I would be so dead right now. |
2018-09-17 |
|
250 |
Windows has NEVER found a solution to the problem. |
2017-10-29 |
|
494 |
Windows Update Facilitation Service... Startup type: Disabled. Access is denied?? "I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that." |
2018-07-31 |
|
408 |
Windows 10 is getting worse and worse. It's a better time now to displace Windows than any other time in history. |
2018-05-28 |
|
1065 |
Why would I ask the robot? The robot doesn't know anything. |
2019-04-17 |
|
91 |
Why isn't it accepting 15 16? That's just communist. |
2017-02-06 |
|
270 |
Why is this the game that I'm playing? |
2017-12-26 |
|
844 |
Why is everybody not playing the good mode? |
2018-10-16 |
|
326 |
Why don't you tell me what capability? Because you don't give a shit, because you don't care that people can't use your API. |
2018-02-05 |
|
689 |
Why don't you just go to Mars and make awesome space robots that breakdance? |
2018-09-23 |
|
1281 |
Why don't you guys start talking about what colors you should use for Javascript syntax highlighting. I really would like to know that. What size protobufs should you use in order to get maximum syntax highlighting for Javascript? |
2020-06-28 |
|
134 |
Why does the red top make my suspenders not be there? |
2017-06-03 |
|
1350 |
Why does my web cam look so nice? That's just me. I look really nice. So ... I just make everything good. |
2020-11-29 |
|
728 |
Why do you think this is a game? |
2018-09-30 |
|
476 |
Why do diamonds roll so much? I don't know... |
2018-06-19 |
|
553 |
Why do I have to do this just because somebody else decided to build a hamster wheel I have to run on? |
2018-08-31 |
|
202 |
Why do I have a preference for right-handed coordinates? Because they're better. |
2017-08-04 |
|
1415 |
Why do I even internet? |
2021-07-26 |
|
159 |
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he didn't want to get shot. |
2017-07-24 |
|
871 |
Why did I do that? This is awful. |
2018-10-18 |
|
1408 |
Why can't life just be me eating ice cream? |
2021-05-22 |
|
1462 |
Why are they making a new Top Gun movie? Because Tom Cruise defeated the Death Star in the last one, and now he needs to face the AT-AT walkers. |
2024-01-15 |
|
443 |
Why are people working on things? |
2018-05-31 |
|
70 |
Why are people backseat driving? |
2017-02-05 |
|
1003 |
Why are all editors terrible? I don't understand. |
2019-01-03 |
|
741 |
Why are VR games such pieces of poop? |
2018-09-30 |
|
334 |
Why am I wasting my life doing this? |
2018-02-05 |
|
865 |
Why am I in Witness?? |
2018-10-18 |
|
224 |
Whoops! I'm makin' all kind of typos. |
2017-08-12 |
|
125 |
Whoever designed this part of the game is fired. |
2017-05-18 |
|
13 |
Whoever designed that would be fired from my company. |
2016-05-14 |
|
303 |
Whoever animated that didn't know anything about... anything. |
2018-01-28 |
|
649 |
Whoa. Didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. |
2018-09-16 |
|
370 |
Whoa, there's really not that many compiler errors left. We may soon be close to the time when we get to run it and watch it crash because I did something horribly wrong. |
2018-05-25 |
|
778 |
Whoa! Rep is bigger than sit! |
2018-10-12 |
|
350 |
Who knows what the hell "decibels" means? I still don't know. I know what they mean but I still don't know what they mean. |
2018-02-12 |
|
1066 |
Who fucking designed this game? |
2019-04-17 |
|
252 |
Who doesn't want to get off Emacs? It's terrible. |
2017-10-29 |
|
835 |
Who could have predicted that there would be a further collapse? |
2018-10-15 |
|
665 |
Where is freedom of speech on here? |
2018-09-20 |
|
1028 |
When your syntax highlighting looks like angry fruit salad, how does that help you anyway? |
2019-02-24 |
|
611 |
When you're learning to program, for the many, many years that it takes, the one thing that the computer is telling you constantly, all the times is "You're dumb, and you're wrong and what you're trying to do doesn't work." That is your conversation with the computer for *years*, until you get good. |
2018-09-07 |
|
339 |
When you screw up an API like this, Everybody pays for it for a long time FOREVER. |
2018-02-06 |
|
346 |
When you cross off an item on your todo list, you want it to feel good. |
2018-02-10 |
|
1368 |
When you cast an integer to another size, you should cast the integer to the other size. THAT is my tip of how to succeed in the game industry that overrides all previous tips previously ever given, except any tip about getting good. |
2021-01-14 |
|
1300 |
When you buttify, you have to spread. |
2020-07-23 |
|
428 |
When did Google get so crappy? |
2018-05-30 |
|
984 |
When I'm designing this programming language, I'm doing it in a chef-like way. |
2019-01-01 |
|
472 |
When I try to undo nothing happens! Oh my god! It's just like all those games that don't have undo! |
2018-06-07 |
|
419 |
When I look at gamedev it kinda sucks. |
2018-05-29 |
|
743 |
What? Now the window is on my other monitor! |
2018-09-30 |
|
1336 |
What's 30 Braids in decibels is what you guys should be asking. |
2020-10-28 |
|
322 |
What was I smoking last night? [...] I was smoking the right thing, apparently. |
2018-02-04 |
|
381 |
What the hell were people doing in here? |
2018-05-26 |
|
72 |
What the hell tea is this? |
2017-02-05 |
|
1428 |
What kind of idiot dedicates their life to video games? I don't even understand how I ended up here. |
2022-02-18 |
|
982 |
What kind of game do you think this is? Of course there's a struct "Egg". |
2018-12-26 |
|
501 |
What is your objective argument that red is a nice color? |
2018-08-04 |
|
77 |
What is this game about? It's about pushing boxes. |
2017-02-06 |
|
807 |
What is this fiction that we're all surprised that we want to shoot each other? |
2018-10-13 |
|
1257 |
What is this C# .... They wanted this to be as slow as possible |
2020-06-07 |
|
699 |
What is holding back porn films from becoming a socially acceptable artistic medium? |
2018-09-24 |
|
700 |
What is holding back boxes of detergent at the groceery store from becoming a socially acceptable artistic medium? |
2018-09-24 |
|
527 |
What is all this? |
2018-08-30 |
|
528 |
What is a BSTR? You know what, I don't want to know. It's something... a BSTR is just something. |
2018-08-30 |
|
1017 |
What if you want to make a really positive integer at some point? 10 megabytes might not be enough. |
2019-01-09 |
|
761 |
What if I do something exciting like download Windows? Wouldn't that be cool? |
2018-10-04 |
|
500 |
What happens when you take an action platformer and you subtract level design, and the levels are just... stuff? (Which is what Metroid is, by the way.) |
2018-08-04 |
|
735 |
What happens if my ball gets stabbed? ...don't make that a quote. |
2018-09-30 |
|
416 |
What do you think wires are? They're tubes with electrons going through them. Your connection to the Internet is a series of tubes, that's just how it is. |
2018-05-29 |
|
1013 |
What do I ever say that's important? The code is important! |
2019-01-06 |
|
332 |
What did we learn? We learned that system is a disaster in windows and you shouldn't use it. |
2018-02-05 |
|
331 |
What are all of these windows? Let's get rid of these things... |
2018-02-05 |
|
146 |
What are ScriptableObjects? Is that a Unity thing? Are you seriously asking me about a Unity thing? |
2017-07-20 |
|
344 |
What a garbage. |
2018-02-09 |
|
765 |
What a garbage. |
2018-10-04 |
|
998 |
What I'm doing today is obviously not the optimum, but it's clearly the best thing I can do after 37 years of experience programming. |
2019-01-01 |
|
638 |
What I really need is a sitrep. |
2018-09-16 |
|
239 |
Well, welcome to OpenGL. |
2017-08-18 |
|
1232 |
Well, we printed some pointers. I hope you enjoyed those pointers. |
2020-05-03 |
|
583 |
Well, this is a real question. |
2018-09-03 |
|
530 |
Well, this garbage compiles. |
2018-08-30 |
|
382 |
Well, it'll just be broken until next time. |
2018-05-26 |
|
1259 |
Well, it didn't take an hour to output red. |
2020-06-07 |
|
1092 |
Well, I'm glad to be rid of those 200 lines because some of them were hairy and I was scared of them. |
2019-07-26 |
|
57 |
Well it didn't work, and we can't debug it. So that's it. I quit programming now. |
2017-02-02 |
|
1007 |
Web programming is the janitor work of programming. |
2019-01-06 |
|
957 |
We've got to figure out which chain-link is not fencing. |
2018-12-09 |
|
508 |
We've already won at game development. |
2018-08-10 |
|
1015 |
We've already basically played everything tonight. Basically. |
2019-01-06 |
|
207 |
We're writing so many programs, we don't even know which one has to run now. |
2017-08-07 |
|
75 |
We're trackin' |
2017-02-05 |
|
929 |
We're still 0-bagging, but we're survivor-baggin'. Like Bilbo Baggins was a survivor, you know? |
2018-11-19 |
|
423 |
We're only missing our entire program that we actually want. |
2018-05-30 |
|
947 |
We're not quite at the chai line, but we're getting there. |
2018-12-02 |
|
282 |
We're not doing foofoo softie stuff. |
2018-01-13 |
|
451 |
We're making the program so much better by putting semicolons in. |
2018-06-02 |
|
1111 |
We're just not like crappy pixel-art indie. |
2019-07-31 |
|
243 |
We're just gonna die, it's fine. |
2017-09-18 |
|
424 |
We're in full on computer disaster right now. |
2018-05-30 |
|
1326 |
We're in C++ so we have to say "++". That's the rule. |
2020-10-16 |
|
581 |
We're in 3-digit subscriber numbers! Now the Illuminati will send me a message saying "you're so famous now, we're going to tell you all the Illuminati secrets." |
2018-09-03 |
|
936 |
We're gonna push some blocks like we often do in this game. |
2018-11-24 |
|
981 |
We're gonna need an intense fuzz session on that. |
2018-12-26 |
|
410 |
We're gonna keep pushing it til it breaks, because I'm pretty sure I know how to break it. |
2018-05-29 |
|
738 |
We're gonna have to whack this real hard. ...Maybe too hard. |
2018-09-30 |
|
675 |
We're gonna have to increment the cake counter later tonight. |
2018-09-22 |
|
681 |
We're gonna have a little unicorn tail here, but we're gonna sitrep that right out. |
2018-09-22 |
|
1025 |
We're going to have to actually look at what the code is doing, as opposed to just typing things. |
2019-02-06 |
|
345 |
We're getting rid of the A's~ |
2018-02-09 |
|
98 |
We're getting nested here. |
2017-02-07 |
|
392 |
We're down to 10300 lines in this file, one day it might be below ten thousand again. |
2018-05-26 |
|
1267 |
We're doing this the efficient programmer way, but we could do this the modern programmer way. |
2020-06-11 |
|
1348 |
We're basically three times as good as par. |
2020-11-28 |
|
4 |
We'll just have a "bottom of the screen is not in view" day. |
2016-03-17 |
|
1137 |
We'll give slowpokes six minutes to get here, |
2019-08-17 |
|
1139 |
We will start in 1.173265 minutes. |
2019-08-17 |
|
618 |
We were in the 80s and now we're in the 90s. |
2018-09-12 |
|
105 |
We want high resolution cute kittens. |
2017-03-25 |
|
35 |
We still don't, to this day, know how to make things weigh the same as a duck. |
2017-01-22 |
|
1360 |
We should just call this game "Push, push, push," and then people will think it's a pregnancy simulator. |
2020-12-04 |
|
49 |
We see arguments. It's like seeing dead people, but different. |
2017-01-28 |
|
1097 |
We proto'd our buf successfully. |
2019-07-29 |
|
551 |
We no longer need to run VCVars. Or run VSWhere. Or run VSBoondogleBS 1.7. |
2018-08-31 |
|
1264 |
We need to bring back villains that say "You have failed me for the last time." |
2020-06-09 |
|
1014 |
We might start an international incident if we play this. |
2019-01-06 |
|
975 |
We just want to be all Mike Acton and understand our data now. |
2018-12-23 |
|
1044 |
We just need to push the reboot button on every technical decision involved in the world wide web. |
2019-04-05 |
|
1435 |
We have too many red fives standing by. |
2022-07-23 |
|
1295 |
We have string metaphors. I mean, we do have string figuratives also, but people say string figurative when they mean string literal, so we just gave up and made string figuratives and string literals be the same thing. And so when we did that, we had to make string metaphors, which are the old semantics of string figuratives. |
2020-07-19 |
|
324 |
We have problems. |
2018-02-04 |
|
312 |
We have different definitions of the word "works". |
2018-01-31 |
|
188 |
We have come to the time where "later" is now. |
2017-07-27 |
|
1187 |
We have a superpower. Our superpower is that we're old. |
2020-04-04 |
|
1384 |
We gotta return the string, guys, otherwise we ain't going to succeed in the games industry. |
2021-02-11 |
|
782 |
We gotta own some noobs while there's still noobs. |
2018-10-12 |
|
620 |
We got a problemo. The most important part of that is "lame-o". |
2018-09-12 |
|
536 |
We don't host Javascript here, unless I'm too tired to notice that it's Javascript. |
2018-08-30 |
|
1285 |
We don't FU in this language. |
2020-06-29 |
|
1203 |
We do not order pineapple on pizza in this house. |
2020-04-19 |
|
1389 |
We do not make progress by merely by complaining about all the bad programmers, we also make progress by implementing useful functionality in a powerful way that works robustly, and so we shall continue to do that now. |
2021-02-15 |
|
1217 |
We did the wrong thing. How is this even working? |
2020-05-02 |
|
1226 |
We deleted all the code that makes the CPU keep us warm by spinning all the time. |
2020-05-03 |
|
672 |
We could do React.js. SIKE!!! |
2018-09-21 |
|
724 |
We could delete PUBG, because we're probably not ever gonna play it. |
2018-09-30 |
|
1224 |
We can't have a code deletion party on an empty stomach. |
2020-05-02 |
|
1100 |
We can compile a program faster than cloc can count the lines in it. |
2019-07-29 |
|
1358 |
We are three times as far into the future as Max Headroom ever was. That's all I'm going to say about that. |
2020-11-30 |
|
702 |
We are not in a society that is oriented around making things that are meaningful or deep or aesthetically beautiful. |
2018-09-24 |
|
963 |
We are in the middle of not knowing right now. |
2018-12-12 |
|
1197 |
We are going to break everything today, and it's gonna be Awesome. |
2020-04-18 |
|
68 |
We are SO beyond compiler bug territory. We're past the thunderdome here. |
2017-02-05 |
|
636 |
Was that me choking on water? Or was it someone else? |
2018-09-15 |
|
943 |
Walking to the right is dangerous business. |
2018-11-25 |
|
407 |
Walk the walk or stop talking the talk. |
2018-05-28 |
|
319 |
Wait, wanted gave us nothing but given gave us something! |
2018-02-04 |
|
749 |
Wait, the goblins have an army of orcs? How does that work? |
2018-09-30 |
|
256 |
Wait, I made the wrong kind of tea! It's a disaster. |
2017-11-28 |
|
520 |
Vulkan has failed as far as I'm concerned. I don't wanna hear about it, frankly. |
2018-08-29 |
|
1199 |
Visual Studio makes me dislike programming so much that I'm going to eat a large bag of Reese's Pieces and get fat and die. |
2020-04-18 |
|
396 |
Visual Studio hates programmers |
2018-05-26 |
|
1145 |
Video games: they often don't make a lot of sense. |
2019-08-22 |
|
864 |
Video games, man! They just get complicated. |
2018-10-18 |
|
1181 |
Valve does not really believe in game design, in my opinion. |
2020-03-26 |
|
892 |
VS Code? Isn't that one of those editors that's basically a Web browser, and you press a key and it takes 100 milliseconds for your keystroke to register? |
2018-10-22 |
|
1237 |
Usually when you have an array its full of stuff ... you know. |
2020-05-04 |
|
1200 |
Usually I'm afraid of commitment, but now I'm finally ready. |
2020-04-18 |
|
586 |
Unnecessary complication must be... REMOVED! |
2018-09-03 |
|
519 |
Understanding your dependencies and minimizing your dependencies is critically important and nobody cares anymore. |
2018-08-28 |
|
343 |
UltraSearch is so ultra, that it's beyond the need to case-sensitively search. |
2018-02-09 |
|
938 |
Uh oh, I messed that up. I was trying to hit F and I hit G... for Gamer. |
2018-11-24 |
|
669 |
Ugh. Okay, so forget my saying that stuff worked the first time. |
2018-09-21 |
|
87 |
Twitch is fascist. |
2017-02-06 |
|
238 |
Trying to program in OpenGL is like if you were a Microsoft first-year summer intern and they made you program in Visual F##+++ for Office Team System One and with a Visual Basic++ plugin and you had to program for UWP and everything was just awesome. |
2017-08-16 |
|
465 |
To get into the game industry you need to be good at C++... But, you'd be surprised. |
2018-06-03 |
|
427 |
To all of you saying "oh just stop complaining and read the documentation it's fine"... do you make good things? |
2018-05-30 |
|
762 |
Time goes by so fast, I just don't know what to do about it. |
2018-10-04 |
|
920 |
Time flies sometimes. I don't know where it goes. |
2018-11-18 |
|
163 |
Those cheap European cars *car does a flip* |
2017-07-24 |
|
387 |
Those are yesterday's breakpoints! |
2018-05-26 |
|
1178 |
This was from a Polaroid camera that one of the event organizer had and its very hipster, like the pictures come out pre-sepia toned and faded which I guess is part of the appeal of having a Polaroid camera. |
2020-03-24 |
|
58 |
This shouldn't be hard, why are you all assholes? |
2017-02-02 |
|
110 |
This should definitely kill one of the dimensions. And it doesn't. |
2017-03-25 |
|
74 |
This scrollbar will have explosions. I guarantee. |
2017-02-05 |
|
569 |
This might be a problem that I don't know how to solve. |
2018-09-03 |
|
605 |
This looks like what happens when you kill the horses in Scum. |
2018-09-05 |
|
1261 |
This looks good to me, for some definition of good. |
2020-06-07 |
|
227 |
This is worth getting killed for right here. |
2017-08-14 |
|
593 |
This is why I date my comments. |
2018-09-04 |
|
511 |
This is what hell is like. No Exit was written like 40 years too early. |
2018-08-25 |
|
426 |
This is what happens when you design your APIs to assume spaces are not a thing. |
2018-05-30 |
|
1037 |
This is what happens when you burn everything to the ground, it's like... you've got problems. |
2019-02-28 |
|
366 |
This is what happens when people other than me work on things. |
2018-05-11 |
|
323 |
This is what happens when I don't sleep enough before superstream Sunday. |
2018-02-04 |
|
83 |
This is what UI code is by the way, it's just a bunch of stuff. |
2017-02-06 |
|
676 |
This is the type of thing that junior programmers do all the time. |
2018-09-22 |
|
197 |
This is the tax you pay for working in OpenGL. |
2017-08-03 |
|
1186 |
This is the natural eigenvector of twitch chat. |
2020-03-29 |
|
546 |
This is such a garbage. |
2018-08-31 |
|
772 |
This is so bananas. |
2018-10-11 |
|
953 |
This is one of those levels where you look at it and you just think "What the fuck?" |
2018-12-04 |
|
1253 |
This is officially the last time I use Uber eats. |
2020-05-30 |
|
781 |
This is obviously a highly professional thing. My next job is as a graphic designer. |
2018-10-12 |
|
47 |
This is not a dancing stream. |
2017-01-27 |
|
40 |
This is mostly for you guys. |
2017-01-25 |
|
425 |
This is making me mad. Who did this? |
2018-05-30 |
|
570 |
This is literally unsolvable at a basic level. |
2018-09-03 |
|
1047 |
This is just really not what I want to be seeing. |
2019-04-06 |
|
198 |
This is just a horrible paste-orama. |
2017-08-03 |
|
1174 |
This is just The Sims with guns. |
2020-01-05 |
|
1307 |
This is good, we understand the universe now. |
2020-08-29 |
|
46 |
This is gonna be like playing music, but we don't destroy other music. |
2017-01-27 |
|
1379 |
This is going to be so stupid, it's amazing. |
2021-01-31 |
|
391 |
This is gnarly enough that I'm gonna put a thing here called @Gnarly |
2018-05-26 |
|
1221 |
This is getting to be a very deep rabbit hole very fast. [...] At this point you give up, you stop programming and you play video games. |
2020-05-02 |
|
507 |
This is game development, people. This is how the sausage gets made. I hope you understand how much effort is going into this. |
2018-08-10 |
|
790 |
This is double plus ungood. |
2018-10-13 |
|
439 |
This is counter to my entire personality. |
2018-05-31 |
|
289 |
This is by far not the fastest way to do this, BUT WHO CARES?!?!?!?!? |
2018-01-15 |
|
60 |
This is boring and stupid. |
2017-02-02 |
|
683 |
This is an award-winning situation. |
2018-09-22 |
|
630 |
This is an Activision game, how does it not work?! ...Don't answer that, I know the answer. |
2018-09-15 |
|
115 |
This is a testament to how far you can get with something that is totally broken. |
2017-03-26 |
|
434 |
This is a super-garbage right now, by the way. This is a massive garbage. |
2018-05-30 |
|
509 |
This is a millennial game where it doesn't want to show you how bad you are compared to the world. |
2018-08-11 |
|
114 |
This is a little bit annoying, because we multiplied by our hack factor and stuff. |
2017-03-26 |
|
1381 |
This is a job for compile time execution, guys! |
2021-02-07 |
|
356 |
This is a hack. I admit it. |
2018-02-16 |
|
964 |
This is a game about society. |
2018-12-12 |
|
329 |
This is a fully mental ... insaino ... crazy disaster. |
2018-02-05 |
|
997 |
This is a family channel. We're only playing this for educational purposes. |
2019-01-01 |
|
855 |
This guy's a noob and I'm a potato. |
2018-10-17 |
|
927 |
This guy wasn't even a gamer. |
2018-11-19 |
|
1034 |
This game's going to be so baller when it's done. |
2019-02-27 |
|
0 |
This could be very exciting, potentially. |
2016-03-02 |
|
162 |
This car steers like a cow. |
2017-07-24 |
|
1372 |
This caching is mostly working. But as you know, there's a big difference between mostly working, and all working. |
2021-01-21 |
|
15 |
This battle required 3 times as much programming as the rest of the game. |
2016-05-15 |
|
994 |
This UI is so modern that I can't figure out how to do it. |
2019-01-01 |
|
632 |
Third partied! |
2018-09-15 |
|
393 |
Thinking about continuation passing was fun back when I was a Scheme fanboy. |
2018-05-26 |
|
986 |
They've calibrated their methods in a world of easy problems. |
2019-01-01 |
|
909 |
They're these bad doughy slices of low-quality ingredients. Sorry, that's just how it is. |
2018-11-12 |
|
624 |
They're not Internet-flame-bait caliber disagreements. |
2018-09-14 |
|
786 |
They're calling me a beta. |
2018-10-13 |
|
112 |
They're all at z=1. How is that even a good idea? |
2017-03-26 |
|
928 |
They should just put a line on the ground. Pretend it's part of the Super Combat Man Combat HUD. |
2018-11-19 |
|
42 |
They should call me Mr T because of all the tea I drink. |
2017-01-25 |
|
748 |
They look ornery. |
2018-09-30 |
|
300 |
They keep changing Photoshop, and it doesn't... work. |
2018-01-18 |
|
516 |
They just didn't read my mind. I don't know why. |
2018-08-27 |
|
742 |
They ignore [input] if the window doesn't have focus. THAT is a sign they they're using Unity or something. |
2018-09-30 |
|
1370 |
They call me Reverta Williams, game developer. |
2021-01-18 |
|
779 |
These people are not delivering my food! Freaking communist... |
2018-10-12 |
|
1223 |
Therefore, press F to pay respects. [...] I feel like the majority of our streaming audience does have respect. |
2020-05-02 |
|
17 |
There's this thing in C++ called SFINAE, but it's banana nut balls. |
2016-05-21 |
|
251 |
There's some basic bug. |
2017-10-29 |
|
615 |
There's so much weird irrelevant garbage information on Google that I don't know what to do. |
2018-09-07 |
|
144 |
There's no weird constructor juice. |
2017-07-10 |
|
433 |
There's no reason that computers don't work that way by default, except that... people... do bad things. |
2018-05-30 |
|
1042 |
There's gotta be like a spaceship operator version of this, right? |
2019-04-04 |
|
380 |
There's different kinds of programmers. There are programmers who don't really know how anything works, and who just can write glue code and high level things that ask for things to happen and then they hope they happen. And then there's programmers who know how things work and can make stuff from first principles. Those second kinds of programmers are a lot more powerful. |
2018-05-26 |
|
1118 |
There's code here that's, like, disagreeing. |
2019-08-01 |
|
918 |
There's at least three levels now. There's coder, programmer and engineer. Coder is if you work at Twitter. Programmer is if you work at Infinity War. Engineer is if you work at IBM or NASA. The People who use only JavaScript are definitely coders, or think they're coders. Maybe there's even a fourth level below coder. |
2018-11-18 |
|
1035 |
There's always more swamp to drain. |
2019-02-27 |
|
285 |
There's a fine art of not getting sidetracked too far from what you're working on. |
2018-01-15 |
|
571 |
There's a few things not to do in this channel, and one of them is to advocate for garbage collection. |
2018-09-03 |
|
1061 |
There was this phrase, I forget exactly what it was, but like, "The compiler is smarter than you are" or whatever, and it's not true. It's smarter than you are if you're a bozo. |
2019-04-16 |
|
497 |
There sure is a lot of anime porn stuff on Creative. |
2018-07-31 |
|
1048 |
There is zero amount of UB in this language. We do not respect the concept of UB. UB stands for "Ugly Bullshit" and I'll have none of it. |
2019-04-06 |
|
182 |
There is a thing called criminal negligence. |
2017-07-26 |
|
1392 |
There comes a time when you have eaten all the chocolates, and there are no more chocolates. It is a very sad time. |
2021-02-23 |
|
1005 |
There are 11 time zones in this code. |
2019-01-03 |
|
1138 |
Then we had this thing where we decided to switch to phones because it's much better to type on phones and create content on phones. |
2019-08-17 |
|
575 |
The worst would be to put nothing here at all. Well, the ABSOLUTE worst would be to be Javascript. |
2018-09-03 |
|
61 |
The weights are all -1 which means the problem is that this shader doesn't even lift. |
2017-02-02 |
|
1316 |
The way that I succeed in life is keeping everything as absolutely simple as possible, right? Which often is quite complicated. |
2020-09-25 |
|
10 |
The type of a type is Type. |
2016-05-07 |
|
884 |
The sticky pad was no longer sticky enough. |
2018-10-22 |
|
850 |
The self-stun is a pro strat, uh, I saw people who are very pro do that strat. |
2018-10-17 |
|
603 |
The reason this is happening is because I am dumb. |
2018-09-05 |
|
272 |
The reason atomics are templates in C++ is because C++ went insane. |
2018-01-06 |
|
377 |
The reason I don't have much hair right now is OpenGL. |
2018-05-26 |
|
1378 |
The reason "DevOps" is popular is because it sounds like you're a secret agent or something, whereas "system administrator" sounds like you're a secretary that's why. That is the only reason. |
2021-01-28 |
|
535 |
The question for next time is kinda like "who is John Galt"... It's "what is CLSID_SetupConfiguration? And why should I care?" |
2018-08-30 |
|
995 |
The police arrested my correct code. |
2019-01-01 |
|
1339 |
The people who wrote the (graphics device) drivers are a lot like current people running for president in that they don't give and f-k about you at all and don't care how hard of a time you have, and make your life needlessly painful. That is what I don't like about OpenGL. |
2020-10-31 |
|
1004 |
The people who make these editors are a word you can't say anymore because it hurts peoples feelings. |
2019-01-03 |
|
487 |
The name of this engine is The Super Amazing Brilliant Better-Than-Unity/Godot Master Amazo Engine. |
2018-07-29 |
|
1159 |
The most interesting computational work is not being done in Javascript. |
2019-11-30 |
|
601 |
The most frustrating time during The Witness voice acting was just the voice actors' union not bothering to get back to us. |
2018-09-05 |
|
145 |
The key is to let the people who make the content do most of the work. |
2017-07-20 |
|
1235 |
The job of an editor is to let me edit my text file! |
2020-05-03 |
|
1446 |
The job of a macro is to be more dirty than a function. |
2023-03-04 |
|
118 |
The incoming bullets are weird... they don't feel that incoming. |
2017-05-15 |
|
894 |
The idea that any professional programmer would rely on a random website hosting their source control is bananas. I don't understand. |
2018-10-22 |
|
138 |
The guards all have shoddy bows. It's the new Benghazi. |
2017-06-06 |
|
156 |
The ghost is levying microaggressions at me. |
2017-07-22 |
|
453 |
The game's going to run so much faster with all these semicolons. It's going to be awesome! |
2018-06-02 |
|
697 |
The game's done at this point. |
2018-09-24 |
|
280 |
The fuck is this?? Get-- ughhhhhhhh, Team Explorer... |
2018-01-10 |
|
496 |
The fact that they're so aggressive about it and they prevent you from stopping it, it is literally insane. The cost to the world of those machines rebooting all the time is higher than whatever security you get from being so strict about it. It is literally pompous and insane and totally out of line. Bizzarely, insanely megalomaniacally out of line. And they get away with it because people put up with it, so I dunno. I guess the world is just gonna end. |
2018-07-31 |
|
81 |
The difference between bad software and good software is that in good software you go fix the problems. |
2017-02-06 |
|
1375 |
The computer will not move the electrons around unless you use getters and setters. It just won't do it. The integrated circuit chips, the CPU clock will not oscillate up and down unless you call a getter. |
2021-01-22 |
|
613 |
The computer is the most autistic thing, and it just constantly says "No", and you have to navigate that. That's your job. |
2018-09-07 |
|
751 |
The cardboard wall made of styrofoam cardboard. |
2018-09-30 |
|
851 |
The boat club OWNS! |
2018-10-17 |
|
499 |
The bat is so unlocked. |
2018-08-04 |
|
610 |
The amount of work that gets done in an average Web company is almost zero. |
2018-09-05 |
|
242 |
The amount of idea that I have is zero |
2017-08-26 |
|
775 |
The Witness was hard, man. |
2018-10-12 |
|
1164 |
The VR isn't making this better. In fact it's making it worse. |
2019-12-03 |
|
466 |
The Unicode people are crazy. |
2018-06-06 |
|
360 |
The Mozart candy made my brain start to work. |
2018-04-01 |
|
325 |
The C++ standards committee is not reality-based. |
2018-02-04 |
|
828 |
The Banana Man? That's not the real Banana Man! |
2018-10-15 |
|
595 |
The Anti-Defamation League closed my compiler. |
2018-09-04 |
|
974 |
That's yesterday's news. Now we're building tunnels under Los Angeles. |
2018-12-23 |
|
80 |
That's the problem with streaming, is that I say stuff and then it gets added to the quotes. |
2017-02-06 |
|
1039 |
That's some Einstein shit right there. |
2019-03-13 |
|
836 |
That's so Rainbow Six-y right there. |
2018-10-15 |
|
680 |
That's professional game development right there. |
2018-09-22 |
|
187 |
That's pretty good! |
2017-07-27 |
|
1067 |
That's not what "fantastical" means, asshole. God, if you're going to write for the game, learn what words mean. |
2019-04-20 |
|
956 |
That's not gonna make people not sick. |
2018-12-08 |
|
34 |
That's not even in the shader man, that's totally in the if statement. |
2017-01-22 |
|
960 |
That's just how you do it. It's like you go to the weight room. You do a 10 pound weight, then a 15 pound weight next time, and then a 20 pound weight, and before you know it, you're staring in Terminator 7. |
2018-12-10 |
|
85 |
That's just great when you try to repro something and then you just go Holy *** |
2017-02-06 |
|
90 |
That's just communist. |
2017-02-06 |
|
802 |
That's just art game stuff. What matters is that the gun makes a loud bitchin' noise. |
2018-10-13 |
|
666 |
That's it, I'm quitting game development. I'm buying this island. |
2018-09-20 |
|
1222 |
That's how you debug, okay? You don't plod through in the debugger until you see exactly the tiny thing that goes wrong. You do it until you get a picture of the situation and use that picture of the situation combined with your knowledge of what your trying to do and the knowledge of the system as a whole to jump to conclusions. You want to jump to conclusions. |
2020-05-02 |
|
441 |
That's how much I hate computers. |
2018-05-31 |
|
576 |
That's better. We're one step further from Javascript on the badness scale. |
2018-09-03 |
|
1151 |
That's almost, like, not totally unreasonable. |
2019-10-08 |
|
330 |
That's a very "Russian pencil on the spaceship" kind of solution. |
2018-02-05 |
|
9 |
That's a little better. Whatever it's not gonna solve world peace. |
2016-05-07 |
|
1029 |
That's a cleaner pizza pie. |
2019-02-25 |
|
160 |
That's 2 for 2, by the way, for car flips. |
2017-07-24 |
|
374 |
That would be a bug, but it would be one that I don't want to fix right now. |
2018-05-26 |
|
142 |
That was weaksauce! That was the weakest sauce in the sauce-world. |
2017-06-26 |
|
158 |
That was some advanced computer science right there. |
2017-07-22 |
|
119 |
That was no Half-Life tram ride. |
2017-05-15 |
|
817 |
That was just a festival of me hitting the wrong keys. |
2018-10-15 |
|
1416 |
That was actually quite easy, but my brain didn't brain. |
2021-07-29 |
|
688 |
That must have been just a one-off special Christmas hack that I did. |
2018-09-23 |
|
1126 |
That may not be hard, but it may be hard. |
2019-08-05 |
|
24 |
That may just be me being stodgy and / or stubborn. |
2016-08-23 |
|
208 |
That is worth some chocolate. If I program well I get fat, so that's ok. |
2017-08-07 |
|
223 |
That is too lousy. Even I will not do that! |
2017-08-12 |
|
969 |
That is not the right code. Don't type that. |
2018-12-22 |
|
206 |
That is good action, if I may say so. Take that, PowerPoint! |
2017-08-07 |
|
900 |
That is a very wrappery wrapper. |
2018-10-22 |
|
315 |
That is a failure of the first order, and I don't mean Star Wars. |
2018-02-04 |
|
912 |
That guy was a bathroom-hider. |
2018-11-12 |
|
349 |
That didn't actually fix anything. But it was wrong! |
2018-02-11 |
|
966 |
That crapifies the build process. |
2018-12-15 |
|
430 |
That appears to have worked... Ship it! |
2018-05-30 |
|
1080 |
Thanks, Windows, for trying to pretend like you didn't reboot my machine! |
2019-06-14 |
|
217 |
Thanks Microsoft, for this... program that I payed thousands of dollars for. |
2017-08-11 |
|
1229 |
Thank you! I'm quitting video games and all programming for ever. The end. |
2020-05-03 |
|
588 |
Thank you Emacs for deleting half my file. I don't know how I put up with all of this anymore. |
2018-09-03 |
|
889 |
Tearing up code is the fun thing. |
2018-10-22 |
|
824 |
Take the armor! Fucking 10 tick server. |
2018-10-15 |
|
363 |
THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO!!! |
2018-04-14 |
|
1333 |
Syntax error: IQ too low. |
2020-10-23 |
|
82 |
Swap = true, boom boom. |
2017-02-06 |
|
55 |
Svn commit -m "Dank." |
2017-02-02 |
|
148 |
Svn commit -m "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?????!??!?!?!?" |
2017-07-20 |
|
437 |
Summer intern doesn't even test their code. |
2018-05-30 |
|
682 |
Summer intern could have done that in 10 minutes, but NO! |
2018-09-22 |
|
979 |
Successful language design is about realism. |
2018-12-25 |
|
143 |
Structurally, that was just a tiny, benign tumor. |
2017-06-27 |
|
470 |
String interpolation? We don't do that because... *sighhh*... Lots of reasons. |
2018-06-06 |
|
403 |
Stack Overflow is saying "use std::hash". Yeah, bite me. I'm just gonna mod it by a prime number. |
2018-05-28 |
|
1444 |
Spammy in Miami - it's the sequel to Sleepless in Seattle. |
2022-12-05 |
|
12 |
Sorry, I didn't eat enough cookies and my brain sugar is low. |
2016-05-07 |
|
18 |
Sooo sub-optimal. |
2016-07-24 |
|
297 |
Sometimes, monkey debugging is the best debugging. |
2018-01-16 |
|
195 |
Sometimes, cars don't always stay on their wheels, is all I'm saying. |
2017-07-30 |
|
1231 |
Sometimes your game is better when it uses more pixels. That's just how it is. |
2020-05-03 |
|
1074 |
Sometimes you just need to break eggs before you can unbreak eggs. |
2019-05-10 |
|
1430 |
Sometimes you have to go to the Michelin 3-star restaurant in your underwear to find the bug. |
2022-03-24 |
|
1088 |
Sometimes we do things and they actually make sense. |
2019-07-24 |
|
271 |
Sometimes we break things. |
2018-01-06 |
|
103 |
Sometimes things seem wrong but they're actually right. |
2017-03-25 |
|
1024 |
Sometimes that's what programming is like. You try to do a two minute thing, and then you become very sad. |
2019-02-06 |
|
140 |
Sometimes programming is just about reverting. |
2017-06-26 |
|
245 |
Sometimes people just want to make decisions that are not the best life decisions and you have to respect that. |
2017-09-25 |
|
1437 |
Sometimes it's just best to make your problems go away, you know? |
2022-09-23 |
|
1179 |
Sometimes in life you have to miss something really good. |
2020-03-24 |
|
1388 |
Sometimes clicking "start streaming" button is my way to get myself to start doing things that are useful. |
2021-02-15 |
|
95 |
Sometimes I get bummed out about how my error messages aren't that good, and then I see this garbage. |
2017-02-07 |
|
1351 |
Sometimes I can program, even when I'm tired and punchy. |
2020-11-29 |
|
106 |
Something is broken, and I think it's OpenGL. |
2017-03-25 |
|
934 |
Someone is fired. |
2018-11-23 |
|
409 |
Someone in chat mentioned reinventing the wheel? Oh boy I have a whole rant on reinventing the wheel. |
2018-05-28 |
|
234 |
Someone call Sony, I'm making Knack 3. This is the best Knack! |
2017-08-16 |
|
1043 |
Someday I'll fix that. I swear. |
2019-04-05 |
|
691 |
Someday I'll be done renaming things...I swear! |
2018-09-24 |
|
847 |
Somebody own me! I need to get dinner. |
2018-10-17 |
|
292 |
Somebody needs to throw Windows off of a really high cliff, into hot lava. |
2018-01-15 |
|
291 |
Somebody needs to throw Windows off a cliff. |
2018-01-15 |
|
506 |
Somebody has a way exapunkier solution. |
2018-08-10 |
|
634 |
Somebody didn't totally go to game design school. |
2018-09-15 |
|
1184 |
Some people want to beat their head against a brick wall really hard over and over until they succeed. And some people just want a sooth ride with no challenge and those latter people will never amount to anything in life but that's still what they want, so let them choose that. |
2020-03-27 |
|
531 |
Some people think this is just what programming is. Some people do this all day and they're like "yep that's programming." |
2018-08-30 |
|
710 |
Solotanz? Do you think this is a dancing game? |
2018-09-25 |
|
541 |
Software scales automatically. |
2018-08-31 |
|
686 |
So why are we doing all this? We're doing this for the lulz. |
2018-09-23 |
|
1309 |
So we're just making a little stack on the stack. I heard you like stacks so I made a stack on your stack so you can stack on your stack while you stack. |
2020-09-07 |
|
320 |
So type of some type dot best friend should be guy, and we should be matching that against dummy... |
2018-02-04 |
|
205 |
So the problem with making teas: you think about something and then you forget it! |
2017-08-07 |
|
1124 |
So that's a little bit sus. |
2019-08-04 |
|
1405 |
So somebody left the oven on when they left the apartment and it was someone in polymorph. It was one of these three lines. |
2021-04-08 |
|
1050 |
So ass-tastically slow. |
2019-04-09 |
|
1230 |
So Lana's still up. She looks kind of tired, so let's raid her. |
2020-05-03 |
|
780 |
Sitrep: where's my food? |
2018-10-12 |
|
643 |
Sitrep: when is the game gonna start? |
2018-09-16 |
|
664 |
Sitrep: we now have 5-factorial subscribers. |
2018-09-20 |
|
856 |
Sitrep: we have crashed. |
2018-10-17 |
|
641 |
Sitrep: there's dudes everywhere. |
2018-09-16 |
|
652 |
Sitrep: no gun. [...] Sitrep: gun. |
2018-09-16 |
|
650 |
Sitrep: is that a vehicle? [...] Sitrep: yes. |
2018-09-16 |
|
705 |
Sitrep: We have a circle problem. Over. |
2018-09-24 |
|
647 |
Sitrep: This was stupid. |
2018-09-16 |
|
784 |
Sitrep: Owned. |
2018-10-12 |
|
732 |
Sitrep: It's 1:30 AM and I'm tired. |
2018-09-30 |
|
655 |
Sitrep: I'm about to be able to not hear anything. |
2018-09-16 |
|
818 |
Sitrep: I have preliminarily taken damage. |
2018-10-15 |
|
644 |
Sitrep: I have blood all over my face. |
2018-09-16 |
|
648 |
Sitrep: I am bad. |
2018-09-16 |
|
646 |
Sitrep: Don't fuck with me. |
2018-09-16 |
|
720 |
Sisters. Is that like Brothers? |
2018-09-30 |
|
21 |
Shut up! shut up! I'm giving a presentation. |
2016-07-25 |
|
874 |
Shot by that guy again? That guy's a dick. |
2018-10-20 |
|
309 |
Shit, he's here! Banana Man! |
2018-01-29 |
|
840 |
She's a strong female character. |
2018-10-16 |
|
1071 |
Shawarma? I don't like Marvel movies. |
2019-05-05 |
|
654 |
Shadowmap aliasing on my left. |
2018-09-16 |
|
1296 |
Semicolon expected after a declaration. That's the worst error message in the universe! |
2020-07-19 |
|
1211 |
See, we were good, we're a good person. We were Gallant right there. Gallant comments his things that will not be obvious to people when they look at the code. |
2020-04-27 |
|
1311 |
See, to fix your program all you have to do is remove the printf's. It's serious high-end, elite programming. |
2020-09-08 |
|
1027 |
See, read the code. Don't just assume. You know what happens when you assume? Then you have to drink some tea. |
2019-02-23 |
|
1220 |
See, I just had to turn on part of my brain. It could have taken me two more hours of plodding through this kind of debugging. |
2020-05-02 |
|
54 |
See I told you, I was being stupid. |
2017-02-02 |
|
296 |
Security is our #374 problem. |
2018-01-16 |
|
1206 |
Saying that your programming language is self-hosting and that that's a big deal and that that's worth telling people about, that's like driving an old rusty Hyundai to work, like you bought a used Hyundai, not even a new Hyundai, know what I mean? |
2020-04-24 |
|
1180 |
Saying ideas is not worth that much. You have to do the ideas in a way that actually works. |
2020-03-25 |
|
642 |
SITREEEP! |
2018-09-16 |
|
1249 |
Run far, far away from any web site that says modern C++ and you'll be fine. |
2020-05-28 |
|
667 |
Ruby is so slow, even web people don't use it anymore. |
2018-09-20 |
|
240 |
Rotate your phone bro! ;) |
2017-08-18 |
|
1089 |
Replacement?!? C'mon, you can't replace things! |
2019-07-24 |
|
1356 |
Remember when I said that? Sometimes people say things, but then the way they live their life is not concomitant with the values that they express vocally. They say clean your room, but is their room clean? And so forth. I basically did that here. |
2020-11-30 |
|
185 |
Remember to like and subscribe. Thanks for the 12-month resub, Joe53! |
2017-07-26 |
|
1447 |
Refrozen ice cream? That's a crime against humanity! |
2023-05-01 |
|
849 |
Really? You're gonna unzip right there? |
2018-10-17 |
|
1208 |
Real life is not that good of a game. Real life is a really unfair game that is very slow and tedious. |
2020-04-23 |
|
1236 |
Reading other people's websites about entity systems is wrong. |
2020-05-04 |
|
602 |
Reading comment: "FIXME FIXME FIXME... Uhh I don't remember what needs to be fixed..." Well if it was that important there's no way it is not already fixed. |
2018-09-05 |
|
1081 |
Ray Kurzweil thinks he's going to be immortal, and he's older than me, so who knows? |
2019-06-14 |
|
740 |
RNG... okay, game. Good golf game. |
2018-09-30 |
|
351 |
Q: "How much would I have to pay for you to program The Witness in Java?" A: Ahh... 9000 Decibels |
2018-02-12 |
|
791 |
Put up or shut up. |
2018-10-13 |
|
448 |
Psychic debugging, folks. |
2018-06-01 |
|
985 |
Productivity per engineer-hour is a measurable number. |
2019-01-01 |
|
988 |
Probably very few arguments are actually worth having. So my goal is I'm just gonna keep making stuff, and if my opinions are right, then I should be able to succeed just by making stuff that's better than what's out there. |
2019-01-01 |
|
367 |
Premature optimization is the root of all blah blah blah. |
2018-05-11 |
|
492 |
Predictably, there is not enough salt on these cashews. Five years from now, when people understand that salt has nothing to do with high blood pressure and heart disease, everyone will be sad for all the bland food they ate for all those years. |
2018-07-31 |
|
313 |
Polymorph matching just broke. |
2018-02-04 |
|
898 |
Pointers are scary. |
2018-10-22 |
|
1121 |
Philosopher's Stone is a better title. It is one syllable longer, though. Maybe the dumb Americans can't handle one extra syllable. |
2019-08-02 |
|
868 |
People will hire you if you demonstrate skills that they're impressed by. That's it. |
2018-10-18 |
|
1056 |
People who use the word "code smell" have code smell. |
2019-04-12 |
|
701 |
People who make games are dumb. |
2018-09-24 |
|
51 |
People who made open gl are assholes. |
2017-01-29 |
|
891 |
People use really weird coding standards like you can't put more than 100 lines of code in a file, because that's all that fits in their little Java brains. |
2018-10-22 |
|
1096 |
People still have plenty of time to do their protobufs before demo day. |
2019-07-29 |
|
769 |
People like to be weenies about entity-component system on the Internet. |
2018-10-11 |
|
867 |
People in the Elite Gaming Elite Platinum Elite Copper Lounge have a goofy image of me. I don't know why. |
2018-10-18 |
|
1148 |
People could be watching the squad! |
2019-09-13 |
|
1265 |
People ask me, "How do you succeed in the video game industry?" What do you do to give your game that little bit of extra bit of magic that other games aren't going to have to make people really notice your game and want to play it and tell their friends about it years from now. How do you do this? The answer is, when you add the phase shift, based on position, use croissant-uv instead of just linear-uv. |
2020-06-09 |
|
1040 |
People ask me how do you succeed in game development - and the answer is save the file. If you don't save the file, you will not succeed in game development. |
2019-03-17 |
|
237 |
People are talking about Netflix in the chat, so obviously what I'm doing is compelling. Nobody in the chat cares about programming, that's fine. |
2017-08-16 |
|
404 |
People are like "Oh, just add this feature it'll be fine," but actually, features are complicated! |
2018-05-28 |
|
1153 |
People are basically crazy. |
2019-10-16 |
|
379 |
Patches welcome! |
2018-05-26 |
|
704 |
Parts of our society are more grounded in things that are well-tested, but some parts are very untested. |
2018-09-24 |
|
273 |
Parsers aren't hard. |
2018-01-06 |
|
261 |
Ow! Stop it, routine chickens! |
2017-12-23 |
|
640 |
Ow! Sitrep! |
2018-09-16 |
|
412 |
Our gnusto doesn't work. |
2018-05-29 |
|
1079 |
Our entire society does not have the capability to produce working software right now. |
2019-05-11 |
|
694 |
Our drag is not frame-rate independent, which is pretty poopy. |
2018-09-24 |
|
39 |
Ouch, yeah. |
2017-01-25 |
|
645 |
Oooh, sitrep. |
2018-09-16 |
|
398 |
One's got 2000 dependencies? Bro! Who's that? |
2018-05-26 |
|
316 |
One does not simply copy a syntax tree. |
2018-02-04 |
|
685 |
One Second Puffs. |
2018-09-23 |
|
1113 |
Once you've done damage in the universe, you have to fix it. |
2019-07-31 |
|
881 |
Once you start to have some bricks in the wall, more bricks fit into the wall better. |
2018-10-20 |
|
919 |
Once you lost your peppermint chocolate, things are dire! |
2018-11-18 |
|
1119 |
Once upon a time this was an empty file containing nothing. And I said, "I wish that I could make a programming language as wonderful and amazing as the mighty JavaScript. I wonder if I can do that?" And who knows if we'll succeed, but we've made some progress in that direction. |
2019-08-02 |
|
677 |
Once computers have memory, you do things a different way. |
2018-09-22 |
|
627 |
On the one hand, awesome. |
2018-09-14 |
|
147 |
Okay. When we re-pointering... |
2017-07-20 |
|
1318 |
Okay. This is ass. |
2020-09-30 |
|
1041 |
Okay, whatever. I vented into the comment. |
2019-04-04 |
|
821 |
Okay, they're expecting a collapse now, that's a new development. |
2018-10-15 |
|
164 |
Okay, there's not gonna be a car in this swamp. |
2017-07-24 |
|
257 |
Okay, that's good. Its wrong the same, both times. |
2017-11-28 |
|
567 |
Okay, that is progress. It is not ingress or postgress, it is progress. |
2018-09-03 |
|
288 |
Okay, so... Let's do a hack. |
2018-01-15 |
|
1293 |
Okay, see. Look. You just keep making random changes to your code. It's eventually correct. That's how you program. Especially if you use the unity game engine. |
2020-06-30 |
|
1385 |
Okay, look at all the log prints. DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Log Prints. This is why it's going to be a little grindy. |
2021-02-11 |
|
1419 |
Okay, kids, definitely steal. |
2021-09-27 |
|
504 |
Okay, I know how to really exapunk this. You guys wanna watch me exapunk this? |
2018-08-10 |
|
1105 |
Okay, I get the programmer dunce cap because I spent an hour on this |
2019-07-30 |
|
63 |
Ok, Going to explain it again.....NOPE, you got to re-watch it. |
2017-02-04 |
|
562 |
Oh. This guy actually knows what he's talking about. That's rare! |
2018-09-02 |
|
1172 |
Oh, oh. Got little beef jerkies in my keyboard. |
2020-01-02 |
|
549 |
Oh, now we have to do all this C++ work to babysit the compiler, because I'm an idiot who writes in C++. |
2018-08-31 |
|
774 |
Oh, it's THAT song. Alright. |
2018-10-11 |
|
777 |
Oh, Matt. Matt, Matt, Matt... |
2018-10-12 |
|
589 |
Oh well. Works fine, ship it. |
2018-09-03 |
|
107 |
Oh this is an enum, not a struct. DAUUHHH. |
2017-03-25 |
|
961 |
Oh snap! I made a junior varsity error. |
2018-12-11 |
|
1070 |
Oh my god, the flat earth people were right all along! |
2019-04-29 |
|
1279 |
Oh my god, guys. If you want to succeed the game industry, save your level. Pulitzer prize winning level. Not that the Pulitzer prize is worth anything anymore, but still. |
2020-06-23 |
|
973 |
Oh my god, I'm so stupid. We're gonna keep doing it this way, but I'm stupid. |
2018-12-23 |
|
435 |
Oh my god, I'm gonna punch somebody who works at Microsoft. I'm gonna punch Bill Gates, AND Steve Ballmer, AND Satya... whatever that guy's name is. ...Satya Nadella. |
2018-05-30 |
|
94 |
Oh my god Becky. Look at that scroll. |
2017-02-07 |
|
946 |
Oh my GOD! A global variable!! What the hell?!? |
2018-12-01 |
|
1076 |
Oh look at all these mangled names. They're so cute. |
2019-05-11 |
|
230 |
Oh god... Wow! You know, I'm tempted to just erase this all stream and pretend it never happened and start over tomorrow. |
2017-08-16 |
|
753 |
Oh god, it's totally Star Wars. |
2018-10-01 |
|
219 |
Oh god!... Alright guys, this is gonna be brutal. |
2017-08-11 |
|
241 |
Oh boy! There were earlier changes that I didn't check in. Well... They're checked in now! |
2017-08-18 |
|
770 |
Of course, since I'm an actual programmer and not like a Mac user, I turn off all the goofy gestures |
2018-10-11 |
|
493 |
Ocean Map, take me by the hap, don't you understap... |
2018-07-31 |
|
696 |
Occasional biggies, but mostly small. |
2018-09-24 |
|
216 |
OMG... It worked! Oh, the language is gettin' good. |
2017-08-11 |
|
1084 |
OMG This view bob is gonna drive me nuts. I think I'm going to be ill from this view bob. [...] OMG That was the worst view bob in the universe. |
2019-07-21 |
|
622 |
OK, now we’re going to crash, because success is true, |
2018-09-12 |
|
1305 |
Null is not an option here. |
2020-08-29 |
|
539 |
Now you have access to the Elite Frequent Flyer Swank Lounge. |
2018-08-31 |
|
371 |
Now we watch this die horribly. |
2018-05-25 |
|
1417 |
Now we know how to play Myst! |
2021-08-28 |
|
1434 |
Now if we were a smart web developer and were using JSON, it would take like 5 seconds to load 167MB JSON so we would notice that we were doing that every frame, but because we are fast game programmers, we don't even f**ing break a sweat loading a 167MB file so we are literally doing that every frame. |
2022-05-10 |
|
139 |
Now THAT is a commitable offence. |
2017-06-25 |
|
314 |
Now K has a binding, mofo! |
2018-02-04 |
|
922 |
Now I'm wishing I'd ended on the "This is the last game" game. |
2018-11-18 |
|
949 |
Now I did just say "Man was not meant to drink chai through a straw", but I kind of wonder, what if it was one of those Starbucks cookie straws. Would that then be a drinkable chai situation? I think it might be. |
2018-12-02 |
|
736 |
Not too Banksy. ...that was not Banksy enough. |
2018-09-30 |
|
557 |
Not programming because Microsoft made us want to quit all of programming for the rest of time and even retroactively back in time. |
2018-09-01 |
|
811 |
Not having dumpbin in my path is ass. |
2018-10-13 |
|
712 |
Not everyone is an elite veteran ace frequent flyer game developer. |
2018-09-25 |
|
253 |
Not a long enough length to do what I'm doing with it. |
2017-11-27 |
|
1272 |
Normally I eat a lot of chocolate. I haven't done that lately because I'm traveling, but I might have to have some chocolate for tonight. I think it is good for the mind. |
2020-06-17 |
|
64 |
Nobody's put the peanut butter in the chocolate very much. |
2017-02-04 |
|
23 |
Nobody at microsoft can program at this point. |
2016-08-23 |
|
1213 |
No, I need tea! How are we ever going to get back under fifty thousand [LOC] if I don't have tea? |
2020-05-01 |
|
1284 |
No! Infinity is not that high of a number. It's just seven, ef eight zero, zero zero zero zero. There's no Zeno's paradox there. Infinity is eight digits long guys. Eight digits! |
2020-06-29 |
|
1297 |
No wonder I'm so slow today. I'm at 30Hz. It's not going to go above 30. This is communist, guys. |
2020-07-19 |
|
941 |
No monsters were harmed in the making of this program. |
2018-11-24 |
|
942 |
No monsters were harmed in the making of this game. |
2018-11-24 |
|
1183 |
No hints! I'm trying to play the game as God intended. |
2020-03-27 |
|
908 |
New York pizza is really bad. |
2018-11-12 |
|
421 |
Nevermind! My entire rant was misplaced. |
2018-05-30 |
|
799 |
Never underestimate how little revenue a small game can make. |
2018-10-13 |
|
937 |
Never thought I'd be a barber. |
2018-11-24 |
|
831 |
Netcall: This is a sitrep. |
2018-10-15 |
|
203 |
NaN creeps me out. |
2017-08-05 |
|
1441 |
My will to live is rapidly leaving my body. |
2022-11-23 |
|
41 |
My teapot decides to keep the water boiling by default. |
2017-01-25 |
|
1026 |
My preferred keyboard is one that does not have a user experience. |
2019-02-23 |
|
1075 |
My parents bought me a TRS-80 color computer. Best thing they ever did. |
2019-05-11 |
|
1182 |
My meat is culling incorrectly. |
2020-03-26 |
|
486 |
My food dude is 2 minutes away. |
2018-07-27 |
|
1332 |
My favorite person in the games industry is Reverta Williams. |
2020-10-20 |
|
534 |
My eyes are glazing over already. |
2018-08-30 |
|
1207 |
Mouse-wheel to switch weapons is a crime against humanity. Don't ever do it if you make a game. |
2020-04-25 |
|
608 |
Most programmers are working at a very low percentage of efficiency. |
2018-09-05 |
|
226 |
Most people are not self-critical and reality-based. |
2017-08-13 |
|
651 |
Most mice are too small for my hands. |
2018-09-16 |
|
1142 |
Most lines of code are pollution. |
2019-08-19 |
|
155 |
More like Steam Early Poopcess. |
2017-07-22 |
|
460 |
More cryptic is less cryptic sometimes. |
2018-06-02 |
|
853 |
Mistakes were made. [Gets shot] Mistakes were further made. |
2018-10-17 |
|
400 |
Mistakes were made. I'm not saying by whom, I'm just saying mistakes are made. Certain kinds of people say "You know, there isn't really anything objectively right." Maybe I like it if my compiler just crashes. That's just my lived experience. |
2018-05-28 |
|
76 |
Middle of the bar goes where we are. |
2017-02-06 |
|
1429 |
Microsoft thinks that them updating Windows with things that I don't care about and probably will make my computer work worse and make it slower is more important than me getting work done and delivering value to the people. I think Microsoft is owned by Vladimir Putin at this point. |
2022-02-28 |
|
149 |
Microsoft has no respect for anything. |
2017-07-20 |
|
225 |
Microsoft has no respect for anything. |
2017-08-13 |
|
1228 |
Microservices is one of those trendy things that in five years, people won't be doing anymore. |
2020-05-03 |
|
284 |
Metaprogramming is the future and it solves all our problems, because going meta is always better! |
2018-01-13 |
|
265 |
Maybe you guys just don't like sausages enough? |
2017-12-25 |
|
390 |
Maybe we're seeing the constance block a little too much, and we want to keep the relationship at a distance. |
2018-05-26 |
|
862 |
Maybe we should as a company just stop making video games and start making chicken dinner Youtube videos, and maybe that'll be better than making video games. |
2018-10-18 |
|
863 |
Maybe this should be Battle Royale Sokoban. I don't know how that would work exactly. |
2018-10-18 |
|
50 |
Maybe that just works. That didn't just work. |
2017-01-28 |
|
945 |
Maybe people just need to have patience. It's not like they're waiting an hour for a cloud or something. |
2018-12-01 |
|
43 |
Maybe it's time to blow this cheap taco stand. |
2017-01-25 |
|
930 |
Maybe in Half-Life 3, Gordon Freeman is a firefighter. |
2018-11-22 |
|
254 |
Maybe if I run it a lot of times it'll work. |
2017-11-28 |
|
1238 |
Maybe he was at a conference and kinda drunk when he said that. |
2020-05-05 |
|
71 |
Maybe I'm stupid all this week because I've been streaming so much. |
2017-02-05 |
|
62 |
Maybe I'm not killing it seriously enough. |
2017-02-03 |
|
32 |
Maybe I spilled water all over the floor. That's definitely possible. |
2017-01-22 |
|
1022 |
Maybe I should do something where I just, like, drop a nuke on the chat and ban everybody once in a while. That would be good. |
2019-02-06 |
|
944 |
Maximum public approval has never really been my goal. |
2018-11-28 |
|
852 |
Mankind must put an end to the war. That's why we're playing war games. |
2018-10-17 |
|
803 |
Manipulate that answer to be appropriate to your life situation. |
2018-10-13 |
|
174 |
Man, who lives in this purple building? This is Prince's house. |
2017-07-25 |
|
1123 |
Man, we made gains today. We drank our protein shake, and we made gains. |
2019-08-03 |
|
1002 |
Man, if only I'd never cleaned this up, we wouldn't have introduced new bugs. |
2019-01-03 |
|
948 |
Man is not meant to drink chai through a straw. |
2018-12-02 |
|
690 |
Making games is a serious problem. |
2018-09-23 |
|
833 |
Look, if somebody gave me 1 BILLION dollars to do something, it would not involve turning a real island into The Witness. |
2018-10-15 |
|
614 |
Look at the code. Look. Look at the code and see what it does. |
2018-09-07 |
|
92 |
Look at that. We're better than emacs. |
2017-02-06 |
|
577 |
Look at how many mistakes you can make while programming! That is a tiny fraction of the number of mistakes you can make. ...Mistake #1 is programming in Javascript. |
2018-09-03 |
|
478 |
Look at all those diamonds we have! |
2018-06-21 |
|
968 |
Literally I'm growing old RIGHT NOW. |
2018-12-22 |
|
342 |
Linkers are dogbutt slow. |
2018-02-09 |
|
200 |
Life is rough. |
2017-08-03 |
|
1101 |
Life is not a bowl of cherries, it is a plate of cherries. |
2019-07-29 |
|
1189 |
Life has taught me that the masses have poor taste in many things, and if you just cater to what you think that taste is, you probably won't create things that are very special. |
2020-04-09 |
|
6 |
Let's start glancing at it, then I'll show you something cool. |
2016-03-17 |
|
1012 |
Let's start by being the change we want to see in the world. |
2019-01-06 |
|
1243 |
Let's see if this gets me banned from twitch. |
2020-05-09 |
|
978 |
Let's see if my laptop opens correctly... |
2018-12-25 |
|
1129 |
Let's order a food. |
2019-08-11 |
|
438 |
Let's not give in to the tired and lazy. |
2018-05-31 |
|
191 |
Let's nojobs it. |
2017-07-27 |
|
563 |
Let's lep at this for a second. |
2018-09-02 |
|
352 |
Let's just keep makin dudes, we know how to party here. |
2018-02-13 |
|
477 |
Let's go find some diamonds! |
2018-06-21 |
|
521 |
Let's get stupid. I just wanna get stupid. |
2018-08-29 |
|
53 |
Let's get rid of that, that's more Windows floating around that we don't need. |
2017-02-01 |
|
959 |
Let's get into trouble! |
2018-12-10 |
|
1292 |
Let's face it, aioli IS mayonnaise, it's just pretending not to be. And it's just not as good as regular mayonnaise. |
2020-07-10 |
|
26 |
Let's do something crazy. |
2016-08-23 |
|
1058 |
Let me get a food, and then we'll continue programming. |
2019-04-13 |
|
629 |
Let me check the Elite Frequent Flyer Secret Illuminati Lounge. |
2018-09-14 |
|
747 |
Let me cast my spells! |
2018-09-30 |
|
783 |
Lancer, Prancer, and... Neuromancer out. |
2018-10-12 |
|
369 |
Lambda is the snooty functional programming name for procedure. |
2018-05-25 |
|
758 |
Ladies and gentlemen, the future of videogames. |
2018-10-01 |
|
1059 |
LLVM stands for Long Looping Virtual Machine. |
2019-04-13 |
|
858 |
King 177 Jaded Mamba, over. |
2018-10-17 |
|
221 |
Kinda like JavaScript except, unlike JavaScript, we're not pretending to be a real programming language, so that's ok. |
2017-08-12 |
|
810 |
Kill his ass, please! |
2018-10-13 |
|
1354 |
Kids, don't use macros. They're dangerous. |
2020-11-30 |
|
1112 |
Just make things good before you release them, bro. |
2019-07-31 |
|
924 |
Just like CNN, we're gonna call the results of the election before all the votes have been tallied. |
2018-11-18 |
|
1353 |
Just learn to talk like a robot, and you too can write compiler error messages. |
2020-11-29 |
|
172 |
Just don't get hit and shoot people. |
2017-07-25 |
|
1104 |
Joe Rogan gets at least 250 people for each podcast. |
2019-07-30 |
|
1382 |
JavaScript pays your bills for now? Yes, but it doesn't pay for the sadness you'll feel in twenty years when you look back and say, "I could have been a contender." |
2021-02-07 |
|
222 |
JavaScript is basically the worst thing that's happened to computers. Ever. |
2017-08-12 |
|
247 |
Java is designed to be a boring programming language. |
2017-10-04 |
|
708 |
It's working fine, it's just that we told it to not work. |
2018-09-25 |
|
854 |
It's very easy to backseat game. |
2018-10-17 |
|
711 |
It's totally a dancing game! |
2018-09-25 |
|
151 |
It's time to just quit game programming and play Knack. |
2017-07-21 |
|
1233 |
It's the year two-thousand and twenty. I have a new desktop PC which was delivered to me in the year two-thousand and twenty that cost $3000 at least and I can't edit, in emacs, in real-time a file that's half a megabyte. I'm not talking about pasting half a megabyte. I'm taking about pasting ten characters into the middle of half a megabyte. Dude, I can copy half a megabyte I don't know how many frames per second, [..] but it's a lot of frames per second. This software is so broken! |
2020-05-03 |
|
1010 |
It's the year 2020. Everything is flat now, 'cause that's the universe we live in. |
2019-01-06 |
|
540 |
It's the worst idea in a long time. |
2018-08-31 |
|
717 |
It's the opposite of what I just said. This isn't going on Youtube. |
2018-09-29 |
|
880 |
It's the most pixelated game of 2018. |
2018-10-20 |
|
97 |
It's the Barack Obama scroll. Yes we can. ...No, if this were a Donald Trump scroll, we wouldn't have all that UTF-8 work we did, so you couldn't print Korean and stuff. We would be able to print Russian, though. |
2017-02-07 |
|
1373 |
It's probably very simple, and therefore will take five hours to find. |
2021-01-21 |
|
752 |
It's pretending I have choices. |
2018-09-30 |
|
663 |
It's okay, since you guys know I've been building my career as a pro gaming streamer. |
2018-09-20 |
|
897 |
It's not just zero, it's 0x0000000000000000. Cursor is very close to that, it's 0x0000000000000001. They should compare about equal in if statements and stuff. |
2018-10-22 |
|
445 |
It's not in Lua. Our standards have fallen so low. |
2018-05-31 |
|
952 |
It's not hard to beat Emacs. |
2018-12-04 |
|
1426 |
It's not enough in the games industry to pass the parameter, you also have to use the parameter. |
2021-11-25 |
|
432 |
It's not as robust, but it makes me not hate myself. |
2018-05-30 |
|
1154 |
It's like this, but it's not like this. |
2019-10-20 |
|
837 |
It's like indie game voice acting in here. |
2018-10-16 |
|
954 |
It's like famous Hollywood actor Carl Weathers says: "Now you've got a tea going." |
2018-12-08 |
|
809 |
It's like climate change, it's never gonna happen. |
2018-10-13 |
|
473 |
It's like chewing glass for months. |
2018-06-07 |
|
376 |
It's like a freshman web designer intern making a mistake, and they just keep doing it. |
2018-05-26 |
|
670 |
It's like a Greg Egan game where the characters inhabit a space that works differently from our 3D notions. |
2018-09-21 |
|
1175 |
It's like Twitch wants to be Idiocracy. |
2020-02-02 |
|
294 |
It's like I'm using Linux here. |
2018-01-15 |
|
1394 |
It's just like any other thing in programming, there's an infinite amount of work that could go into improving it. |
2021-02-23 |
|
11 |
It's just a carnival of lose. |
2016-05-07 |
|
373 |
It's inferred, bro. |
2018-05-26 |
|
617 |
It's in Javascript, that's an instant no. "React Native TDD," that's two instant nos at the same time. |
2018-09-07 |
|
830 |
It's hard to be a good technology when you're built on a giant pile of poo, so good luck. |
2018-10-15 |
|
1436 |
It's got the Mona Lisa on it, that's how you know it's good. |
2022-08-28 |
|
955 |
It's gonna get Team Fortress'd. |
2018-12-08 |
|
1122 |
It's going to be HUUUUUUUGE, like the Mexican border wall! |
2019-08-02 |
|
212 |
It's gamma'd wrong again. |
2017-08-08 |
|
625 |
It's frankly horseshit. |
2018-09-14 |
|
19 |
It's easy to have weird notions. |
2016-07-25 |
|
228 |
It's beyond redonkadonk. Which is even farther than Beyond Zork. |
2017-08-14 |
|
127 |
It's been 25 years since I've used scheme... and that is intentional. |
2017-05-25 |
|
1452 |
It's because I didn't put a semicolon. We just fixed 500 errors by putting a semicolon because C++. |
2023-07-12 |
|
1091 |
It's amazing how much of programming is realizing you didn't save the file correctly before you go off on a half hour debugging spree. That saves you so much time! |
2019-07-26 |
|
213 |
It's all working, I could swear I'm not joking. |
2017-08-08 |
|
1009 |
It's all flat design, because it's the year 2020. |
2019-01-06 |
|
933 |
It's absolutely ridiculous. It's the Chronicles of Ridic. |
2018-11-22 |
|
340 |
It's a small difference but it's a big difference, see? |
2018-02-06 |
|
20 |
It's a problem, first of all, because it just doesn't work in windows. |
2016-07-25 |
|
167 |
It's a pretty janky game technically, but sometimes, games succeed despite their problems. |
2017-07-24 |
|
678 |
It's a big party in the Animation Feature Festival Townhouse Place. |
2018-09-22 |
|
767 |
It's a benchmark program that takes 10 minutes to load system info. |
2018-10-04 |
|
723 |
It's VR dancing girls again. |
2018-09-30 |
|
1192 |
It's The Talos Laser. |
2020-04-12 |
|
263 |
It's Portal. |
2017-12-23 |
|
564 |
It's 40% too long! Cancel the compiler! |
2018-09-02 |
|
31 |
It works if we don't hit that bug. |
2017-01-21 |
|
27 |
It wants strings and it's trying to pass guys. |
2016-09-01 |
|
532 |
It took substantial archaeology to write this. We aren't even doing anything yet. |
2018-08-30 |
|
626 |
It sounds like they already have too many problems, why are they adding more? But whatever, I'll read the thing. |
2018-09-14 |
|
218 |
It says "one return value received", which I disagree with. |
2017-08-11 |
|
1383 |
It looks so bad! It's like a web developer that made this font. |
2021-02-07 |
|
1073 |
It looks like it's for 14 year olds, and if you're 14, that's fine. |
2019-05-07 |
|
591 |
It doesn't matter that he's a great guy, he's writing in Javascript. |
2018-09-03 |
|
1455 |
Isn't that interesting how much of making your programming thing successful in the world is propaganda and mind control? Like you make this called smart pointers, and because people want to be smart and don't want to look dumb, everybody says, "Yeah, I like smart pointers", whereas if you had called them smelly-foot pointers, people probably wouldn't want to use them really. |
2023-07-14 |
|
718 |
Isn't that a crappy game? ...Why do I think that? |
2018-09-30 |
|
65 |
Isn't it neat how you can just make things by typing code? |
2017-02-05 |
|
668 |
Isn't it great when stuff works the first time? |
2018-09-21 |
|
211 |
Is somebody doubting that I do things in a quality way? What kind of people are you? |
2017-08-08 |
|
600 |
Is my whole life a lie? |
2018-09-05 |
|
808 |
Is it like a revolver? More like a suckvolver. |
2018-10-13 |
|
841 |
Is Drax somebody who dabs? |
2018-10-16 |
|
592 |
Instantiables are kinda like Lunchables. |
2018-09-04 |
|
1404 |
In the year 2021 people expect to be able to make arrays of strings in their programming language. I don't know why. I don't know why they think that, but they do. |
2021-03-26 |
|
763 |
In the old days there would be a hardware button and the on button would mean the computer was in an on state. These days nobody wants to make computers that anyone knows how to use. |
2018-10-04 |
|
552 |
In the end, everyone is just running around on giant hamster wheels. That is what modern software is like. |
2018-08-31 |
|
1194 |
In that way that the universe is complicated and surprising and will mess you up, we can't just do that. |
2020-04-12 |
|
1411 |
In real life, I know if I'm doing well or not by whether a space whale swims by. That's how I know. |
2021-06-20 |
|
1340 |
In Europe they also don't know what ice tea is, so you can't trust Europeans about food. |
2020-11-01 |
|
967 |
If your number is smaller than 100 million, I'm not impressed. |
2018-12-20 |
|
980 |
If your code doesn't have some Mega Warnings in it, it's not good. |
2018-12-26 |
|
1325 |
If you've ever been volunteered to clean up the kitchen after a long night at the range, go ahead and smash that subscribe button. |
2020-10-15 |
|
1242 |
If you're smart, you might never be as bad as JavaScript, but you don't want any java cooties ... you don't want those in your language. |
2020-05-09 |
|
1248 |
If you're not ignoring most of C++, you're doing it wrong. |
2020-05-28 |
|
1130 |
If you're going to be a bad programmer, be a bad programmer like the kind that never do anything, because then your bad code can never get out and damage things in the world. Be like that kind of bad. |
2019-08-11 |
|
1442 |
If you're going to Pomodoro, 150 minutes is a pretty good interval period. I don't know what people recommend usually. I think it's a couple minutes less than a hundred and fifty. |
2022-11-30 |
|
1234 |
If you're a JavaScript programmer who works at Facebook you're going to be fired in ten years, so it doesn't matter. |
2020-05-03 |
|
180 |
If you win, you get a copy of my painter game prototype. |
2017-07-26 |
|
1438 |
If you were Mickey Rooney, how would you debug this program? |
2022-10-13 |
|
596 |
If you want to succeed, do not compile the debug build and run the release build. They don't teach you that in school. |
2018-09-04 |
|
1278 |
If you want to succeed the game industry don't leave the teapot spout whistler thing open or else it won't whistle. |
2020-06-22 |
|
1449 |
If you want to succeed in the programming industry, eat ice cream. |
2023-05-22 |
|
1334 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, you have to be ready to snack. |
2020-10-24 |
|
1410 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, sometimes you have to drive to the office at midnight. |
2021-06-02 |
|
1427 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, push the whopper button. |
2022-01-15 |
|
1402 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, pass the parameter. |
2021-03-16 |
|
1409 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, multiply by x. |
2021-05-31 |
|
1439 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, don't work for Adobe. |
2022-10-13 |
|
1355 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, don't typo the thing that you're searching for. |
2020-11-30 |
|
1330 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, don't files=1. |
2020-10-18 |
|
1406 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, do not put return instead of continue. |
2021-04-25 |
|
1413 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, do not leave your very important results in a local variable. |
2021-07-14 |
|
1244 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, do not forget the body arrow. |
2020-05-10 |
|
1453 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, ... you gotta change the name of the symbol. |
2023-07-12 |
|
1364 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry use the flag word that you meant to use, not the other one. |
2020-12-15 |
|
1342 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry..... ahhhh |
2020-11-15 |
|
1304 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, you need to do more than comment. You need to actually write. |
2020-08-19 |
|
1263 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, you have to remove the "times five hundred". |
2020-06-08 |
|
1275 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, you have to make it so that you actually have to blow up the block to get to the exit. |
2020-06-20 |
|
1277 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, write the code. All of it. All of it, not just part of it. |
2020-06-22 |
|
1252 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, use both the i and j coordinates, don't just use the j coordinate, 'cause then your river won't flow in the right places. |
2020-05-30 |
|
1315 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, return an integer. |
2020-09-24 |
|
1331 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, put the code that's supposed to be outside the loop, outside the loop. Do you understand? |
2020-10-19 |
|
1239 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, put the binary [in the distribution]. |
2020-05-05 |
|
1273 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, put the 'u' in 'guy'. Put the 'U' in 'GUY! |
2020-06-18 |
|
1359 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, program better than I do. Alright? That's all I have to say. |
2020-12-01 |
|
1363 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, name your flags the right thing. |
2020-12-06 |
|
1289 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, make your arguments arguments, and not return values. |
2020-06-27 |
|
1345 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, know someone who has 3 million dollars. |
2020-11-27 |
|
1196 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, just succeed in the game industry. |
2020-04-15 |
|
1346 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, just know someone that has three million dollars and walks up to you and says "Here, have three million dollars." And you go "Okay, thank you." .. Actually no, that's not really, .. cause most people would proceed to completely lose the three million dollars. That's not how it actually works. |
2020-11-27 |
|
1397 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, it is not enough to merely create an init function...you gotta call it. |
2021-02-25 |
|
1421 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, implement and increment the loop variable. Do both of those things. |
2021-10-09 |
|
1343 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, fail. |
2020-11-15 |
|
1256 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, edit the input file not the output file. |
2020-06-03 |
|
1268 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't ship a game where the players see purple 'X's. |
2020-06-11 |
|
1216 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't put the next instruction in the middle of the current instruction. |
2020-04-30 |
|
1424 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't program in the wrong language. |
2021-11-03 |
|
1314 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't be a zero. |
2020-09-24 |
|
1377 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't be a lose. |
2021-01-26 |
|
1458 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't ask for advice and then duck out of the stream when the answer comes. |
2023-12-27 |
|
1321 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, do not rip-a-rooni. |
2020-10-01 |
|
1324 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, do not reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. |
2020-10-14 |
|
1369 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, do not mess up the rotates. It will not result in success. |
2021-01-15 |
|
1215 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, compile your compiler before you compile your thing with your compiler. |
2020-05-01 |
|
1212 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, capitalize the letter 'K'. |
2020-04-28 |
|
1301 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, call update(). |
2020-08-05 |
|
1366 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, after you do the pop-count you should store the result in the target register, otherwise it will not be correct. |
2020-12-17 |
|
1374 |
If you want to succeed in the gains industry, you gotta git gud. |
2021-01-21 |
|
168 |
If you want to go from a typical programmer to a good programmer, the most important thing to learn is weighing costs vs benefits. |
2017-07-24 |
|
1294 |
If you want to be a good programmer, use the speed parameter. And I don't mean snort speed... |
2020-07-15 |
|
726 |
If you want one atom of pizza each, I think that can be arranged. |
2018-09-30 |
|
1386 |
If you wanna succeed in the game industry, don't drop your 'optional' on the floor. |
2021-02-11 |
|
1270 |
If you wanna succeed in the game industry, call update_hefts(). Don't just call update_nudges(). That's not good enough. |
2020-06-14 |
|
129 |
If you use goto, you sign the warranty that you know what you're doing. |
2017-05-25 |
|
1161 |
If you think that sounds reasonable, you already have Stockholm syndrome. |
2019-12-02 |
|
1214 |
If you start doing modern template meta-programming to do the equivalent of this, you're going to have a un-understandable disaster very quickly. |
2020-05-01 |
|
1143 |
If you really wanna weight lift, you should eat a lot of pizzas. |
2019-08-20 |
|
29 |
If you program like this... go work at Microsoft or something. |
2016-09-01 |
|
845 |
If you mess with people in this game, you better kill 'em. |
2018-10-17 |
|
279 |
If you look on Wikipedia at the graph somebody made of all the Linux forks over time, you just look at that and say, "What a giant waste of effort." |
2018-01-10 |
|
1338 |
If you know the z-whatevering algorithm, you've pretty much mastered video games. |
2020-10-30 |
|
1250 |
If you just keep doing nuggets, you will succeed in the game industry, almost guaranteed. Just nuggets. You just keep nuggeting. |
2020-05-28 |
|
1445 |
If you have your caps-lock key bound to caps-lock, you're not a serious programmer. |
2022-12-10 |
|
883 |
If you have no reason to use Euler angles, then don't. |
2018-10-22 |
|
45 |
If you guys don't know what "Hello, Sailor" is then you need to learn some video game history. |
2017-01-27 |
|
1335 |
If you guys are not willing to read this much, this programming language is not for you. |
2020-10-28 |
|
1448 |
If you got no cowabunga, how are you gonna get anywhere in life? |
2023-05-01 |
|
990 |
If you can win at Zachtronics games, you know what efficient parallelism is like. |
2019-01-01 |
|
1132 |
If you build your entire game around Unity, or in Unity, then you aren't making progress towards making your own game engine. |
2019-08-12 |
|
1109 |
If we all had a little bit less Microsoft software in our lives, and a little more pizza, everybody would be happier. |
2019-07-31 |
|
38 |
If this were my game, you'd see this by looking out of the... Ah! |
2017-01-22 |
|
130 |
If these robots were real animals, there'd be NO way I'd be sneaking around them. Fortunately, these robots run Linux. |
2017-05-25 |
|
1271 |
If there's one thing that there's not enough of on the internet and that we need more of it's memes. There just aren't enough memes. |
2020-06-16 |
|
977 |
If there is no constructor then clearly... etc.! |
2018-12-25 |
|
544 |
If the mouse fails, then we have to cancel the project. |
2018-08-31 |
|
1095 |
If the Romans made the fricken internet, it wouldn't go down like this all the time! |
2019-07-23 |
|
102 |
If that doesn't make sense, then, well, learn some linear algebra cause it's cool. |
2017-03-25 |
|
623 |
If someone gave me a C++ test, I probably wouldn't do very well. |
2018-09-14 |
|
1107 |
If only this program had been written in Rust and used goroutines, this wouldn't have happened. |
2019-07-30 |
|
1055 |
If it's the Hacker News trend of the week, I don't know what it is. |
2019-04-12 |
|
1352 |
If it doesn't solve a real problem, you don't want to do it. |
2020-11-29 |
|
1049 |
If it doesn't have an underscore, you're not doing data oriented design. |
2019-04-06 |
|
846 |
If it comes down to going on a scavenger hunt or chicken dinnering, I'm gonna chicken dinner. |
2018-10-17 |
|
307 |
If he shot through the wall, that's kind of offensive, honestly. |
2018-01-29 |
|
495 |
If anyone in chat works for Microsoft, just quit. Stop watching, you're not allowed to watch the stream. Log off now. Just don't watch Twitch at all, go watch Mixer. |
2018-07-31 |
|
687 |
If anybody does not agree with this union please speak out now. |
2018-09-23 |
|
965 |
If You Don't Atan2, This Industry Does Not Need You. |
2018-12-12 |
|
1117 |
If I'm this dumb, and I can still make compilers, anybody can. |
2019-08-01 |
|
1396 |
If I were writing games, I would definitely write them in INTERCAL and not C++. |
2021-02-24 |
|
1023 |
If I hadn't played video games until 3 in the morning, I probably would have done that right the first time. |
2019-02-06 |
|
904 |
If I had found a weapon that was on the blockchain that time, I think I really would have owned that guy. |
2018-10-22 |
|
442 |
If I don't do this right, programs crash. |
2018-05-31 |
|
1371 |
If I decide to make ill-advised purchases later, I'll get three of those. |
2021-01-19 |
|
1269 |
If I can't make games anymore because I'm going senile, we had a good run. |
2020-06-12 |
|
209 |
If I can continually become a better programmer, then getting fat is a small price to pay. |
2017-08-07 |
|
335 |
If I allowed myself to be angry I would be so angry right now. |
2018-02-05 |
|
440 |
I've vacillated on this several times, and we're gonna make it 32-bit. |
2018-05-31 |
|
1057 |
I've never seen Agile end in the mass murder of millions of people, but maybe that is yet to happen. |
2019-04-13 |
|
1031 |
I've made that bug before. |
2019-02-25 |
|
116 |
I've given up trying to understand OpenGL. |
2017-03-26 |
|
375 |
I've been using Visual Studio since 1996. 22 years. It's pretty sad. |
2018-05-26 |
|
1191 |
I've been running out of my favorite flavors of quarantea. |
2020-04-12 |
|
616 |
I've basically set the bozo bit on Vulkan. |
2018-09-07 |
|
1120 |
I've always wanted to level up on a streaming channel. |
2019-08-02 |
|
556 |
I'm vaguely remembering that there's a thing called wcstrlen(). It's like W. C. Fields. |
2018-09-01 |
|
1020 |
I'm using my brilliant that would have won the Peloponnesian War! |
2019-02-04 |
|
301 |
I'm trying to learn the controls and you cutscene'd my ass. |
2018-01-27 |
|
659 |
I'm trying to do work here, Microsoft. |
2018-09-20 |
|
1420 |
I'm too high for this pegging. |
2021-10-01 |
|
525 |
I'm sure you know how to add. That's practical math! |
2018-08-30 |
|
722 |
I'm sure we're reaching the bottom of the barrel but there are many pages after this. |
2018-09-30 |
|
698 |
I'm sure glad my GPU can fill pixels. |
2018-09-24 |
|
1283 |
I'm sure glad I waited a month to fix that! |
2020-06-28 |
|
255 |
I'm super confused. I haven't had my tea yet. |
2017-11-28 |
|
503 |
I'm still not exapunking. |
2018-08-10 |
|
444 |
I'm sorry, if you're working in Unity, you're not doing the Dark Souls of programming. You're doing, like, the I Wanna Be The Guy of programming, but the Dark Souls of programming is something different. |
2018-05-31 |
|
1312 |
I'm sorry, but I'm too busy working on a compiler to invent Wonka Vision. |
2020-09-23 |
|
1062 |
I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that. Args out of range. |
2019-04-16 |
|
673 |
I'm so fed up with computers at this point. |
2018-09-21 |
|
266 |
I'm smoking crack. |
2017-12-25 |
|
1205 |
I'm smoking crack. |
2020-04-20 |
|
190 |
I'm really sorry for anyone who came along and wanted a coherent stream. |
2017-07-27 |
|
523 |
I'm pretty sure that Zig code was stack-overflow in origin. |
2018-08-30 |
|
1362 |
I'm planting the succeeds of my success in the game industry. If you want to succeed in the game industry, YOU HAVE TO SAVE THE FILE!! You have to save the file. That is pretty much a hundred percent guaranteed prerequisite. |
2020-12-06 |
|
733 |
I'm out of shape. Out of Beat Saber shape. |
2018-09-30 |
|
1077 |
I'm offended by how crappy that was. |
2019-05-11 |
|
447 |
I'm now calling this the Christmas Programming Language. |
2018-06-01 |
|
716 |
I'm not trying to be Unity here because Unity is slow like a butt. |
2018-09-29 |
|
893 |
I'm not that prepared for loose-leaf prep EXCEPT for my extravagant tea setup. |
2018-10-22 |
|
901 |
I'm not that much of a school guy. |
2018-10-22 |
|
574 |
I'm not sure why this works, actually. I mean I know why it works, but I don't know why it didn't work before. |
2018-09-03 |
|
612 |
I'm not sure that trying to give people positive reinforcement about programming is the right thing. Really the right thing is having grit to figure out why what you're doing is wrong, and stupid, and how you can be better and smarter about it. That's the thing that young people need to learn about programming. All these public initiatives are being pushed by people who don't know anything about programming themselves. |
2018-09-07 |
|
572 |
I'm not sure I like this, what I'm typing. |
2018-09-03 |
|
1078 |
I'm not in any secret societies that I know of. If I'm in one, it's so secret that I'm not knowing that I'm in it. That would be pretty cool, right: You start a society that's so secret you induct people against their knowledge. |
2019-05-11 |
|
33 |
I'm not gonna debate anybody about these topics. |
2017-01-22 |
|
517 |
I'm not going to let Linux drag this language down to mediocrity. |
2018-08-27 |
|
1094 |
I'm not going to beg people to use the language. I'm going to make it the best thing to use for many applications, and then smart people will use it. The end. |
2019-07-26 |
|
766 |
I'm not a professional benchmarker. |
2018-10-04 |
|
911 |
I'm not a hide-in-the-bathroom player. |
2018-11-12 |
|
1156 |
I'm not a fan of cancel culture, but undefined behavior culture needs to get cancelled by cancel culture. |
2019-11-17 |
|
73 |
I'm much happier programming in this language. |
2017-02-05 |
|
359 |
I'm like 3 problems deep at this point. But you know what, it's okay. I'm learning. |
2018-04-01 |
|
1053 |
I'm just gonna cancel everything and stop programming. |
2019-04-11 |
|
14 |
I'm in Dear Esther all of a sudden. |
2016-05-14 |
|
215 |
I'm havin' a good time programming reasonably clean things, and I just don't wanna descend into that horrible place. |
2017-08-10 |
|
246 |
I'm gonna write this down then I'll think about what to think about them |
2017-10-01 |
|
347 |
I'm gonna write pens on my todo list... "Pens that feel better when you cross things out." |
2018-02-10 |
|
201 |
I'm gonna tell whoever's working on Sokoban to fix that. |
2017-08-04 |
|
679 |
I'm gonna need some tea to attack the particle problem. |
2018-09-22 |
|
987 |
I'm gonna go into 2019 in a good mood. |
2019-01-01 |
|
787 |
I'm gonna get kicked out of videogames soon if I don't pick it up. |
2018-10-13 |
|
196 |
I'm gonna dead. I'm dead. |
2017-07-30 |
|
907 |
I'm gonna bang this guy when I come in. |
2018-10-24 |
|
383 |
I'm going to take the drinks I bought out of the freezer before they turn into exploding ice blocks. |
2018-05-26 |
|
16 |
I'm going to make a farming game called "farming sucks" |
2016-05-16 |
|
842 |
I'm going to Dabtown. |
2018-10-16 |
|
258 |
I'm going insane. I'm as insane as a Linux person deploying a containerized application. |
2017-11-29 |
|
658 |
I'm glad you guys are so interested in programming that you're talking about race relations and Israel. |
2018-09-20 |
|
429 |
I'm getting flashbacks to college when I would spend entire 8 hour sessions late at night dealing with %PATH% problems. |
2018-05-30 |
|
597 |
I'm gettin hungry, and we're not gonna be done streaming anytime soon. So we're going to have to pop out some UberEATS before all the stores close and we're stuck in post-apocalyptic situations, like... foodless terror. |
2018-09-04 |
|
797 |
I'm finally learning how to not be the worst player in the universe. |
2018-10-13 |
|
1227 |
I'm dying of old age while we're waiting for a breakpoint to hit. |
2020-05-03 |
|
333 |
I'm doing forensic science to figure out how to create a fucking process. |
2018-02-05 |
|
305 |
I'm checking poopy butthole |
2018-01-28 |
|
582 |
I'm annoyed that I have so much work to do and people are saying "why don't you do a bunch more work sooner than you did it?" |
2018-09-03 |
|
822 |
I'm a stupid stupid. |
2018-10-15 |
|
1165 |
I'm a computer scientist gamer for life and I can't buy a music pack from Steam. |
2019-12-07 |
|
631 |
I'm Rambo. |
2018-09-15 |
|
958 |
I'm Batman. |
2018-12-09 |
|
184 |
I'll take 9 mil. I could make a substantial game with 9 mil. |
2017-07-26 |
|
1201 |
I'll get really annoyed and fire everybody and shut down the company and cancel all the games. |
2020-04-18 |
|
3 |
I'll crop it out in OBS. |
2016-03-17 |
|
1064 |
I'll check it out. Except they reviewed it on Polygon, so maybe I shouldn't play it. |
2019-04-17 |
|
1193 |
I"ve never seen an indie game with colored beams. [/sarc] |
2020-04-12 |
|
1241 |
I would almost rather be programming in buttlang than C++ right now. |
2020-05-09 |
|
1128 |
I wonder if I'm getting sick. I don't want to give any of you guys my germs over the internet. |
2019-08-11 |
|
869 |
I wonder if Amazon sells one-page books? |
2018-10-18 |
|
1188 |
I wish I had some parameters I could tweak that were the make-it-look-good parameters. |
2020-04-05 |
|
875 |
I wish I could trot slightly faster. |
2018-10-20 |
|
362 |
I wish I could enhance Windows, really. |
2018-04-01 |
|
259 |
I wasn't in the mood for a bug this hard today. |
2017-12-03 |
|
1306 |
I was wondering why chat was reasonably pleasant. |
2020-08-29 |
|
311 |
I want to get practice at winning. |
2018-01-31 |
|
524 |
I want to call a function called TellMeWhereTheGoddamnLibrariesAreYouIdiot() and it just tells me. |
2018-08-30 |
|
693 |
I want my money back. What a crappy programming language. It doesn't know smaple. |
2018-09-24 |
|
692 |
I want my money back for a crappy programming language that doesn't know Smapple. |
2018-09-24 |
|
365 |
I want all backends to get this benefit. |
2018-05-11 |
|
707 |
I wanna make some little graphy-poos for those. |
2018-09-25 |
|
801 |
I usually think college students don't know anything about game design. |
2018-10-13 |
|
489 |
I used to program in INTERCAL, back before these weak-ass languages that they have today. |
2018-07-29 |
|
1357 |
I turn 20 next year and I have an excellent memory. ... I totally lost my train of thought of why I was saying that. but I was saying it for a reason. |
2020-11-30 |
|
1450 |
I trust that as far as I can throw it. Because it's just bits, I can't throw it very far. |
2023-07-03 |
|
399 |
I tried to sign up for Twitch affiliate but the webpage kept rejecting me because of a bug. |
2018-05-28 |
|
1398 |
I tried to go to the GL Pixel store and buy the right pixels. |
2021-02-25 |
|
304 |
I totally potatoed on that guy. |
2018-01-28 |
|
826 |
I thought that'd be the last collapse, but apparently instabilities were detected, and that causes collapse to occur. |
2018-10-15 |
|
1000 |
I think you're scraping the bottom of the barrel to get quotes just to get to a thousand. |
2019-01-01 |
|
1093 |
I think we need to burn the web down and start over. |
2019-07-26 |
|
1149 |
I think the next feature is we hang out in chat for a little bit. |
2019-10-02 |
|
1282 |
I think that if your IQ is less than 7, you will have a hard time finishing the game. I think that is a true statement. An IQ of more than 7 is not a guarantee of finishing the game, because as we know, standardized tests do not exactly correlate with real world performance, so... |
2020-06-28 |
|
607 |
I think it's breakfast time, which is kind of like Miller Time for the morning. |
2018-09-05 |
|
467 |
I think a little bit of syntactic highlighting is useful, but the fruit salad that most editors put up is not useful. |
2018-06-06 |
|
1319 |
I think I drink more tea than any other being in the universe. |
2020-09-30 |
|
122 |
I tend to want the game to start when I start playing the game. |
2017-05-15 |
|
357 |
I tend not to watch stuff about me because it's weird. |
2018-04-01 |
|
1387 |
I started doing it at 4 in the morning, so you know it's high quality work. |
2021-02-15 |
|
336 |
I should've done better. |
2018-02-05 |
|
579 |
I should rename it the All-Inclusive Diversity Lounge. |
2018-09-03 |
|
502 |
I should read the instructions. |
2018-08-10 |
|
78 |
I should put this here. Because I'm stupid. |
2017-02-06 |
|
812 |
I should have 'naded! |
2018-10-15 |
|
1209 |
I see how you could disagree. You'd be wrong, but I see how you could disagree. |
2020-04-26 |
|
406 |
I read Hacker News sometimes when I'm depressed and unmotivated and then I read a bunch of dumb things and regret going on Hacker News. |
2018-05-28 |
|
794 |
I potato'd, he potato'd. I won the War of the Potatoes. |
2018-10-13 |
|
244 |
I potato'd on him! |
2017-09-25 |
|
771 |
I paid $4000 for this thing. It shouldn't be a piece of shit. |
2018-10-11 |
|
559 |
I only have to get 300 times as many viewers, and I'll be a famous streamer. |
2018-09-02 |
|
1260 |
I need to set the bozo bit on myself because my gradient doesn't work. |
2020-06-07 |
|
36 |
I need to not use concave symmetric pot. |
2017-01-22 |
|
267 |
I need to earn some blocks by watching ads. |
2017-12-25 |
|
52 |
I need more snack surface area. |
2017-02-01 |
|
1021 |
I need gems more than they need a working spaceship. |
2019-02-04 |
|
1240 |
I need brain chai. |
2020-05-07 |
|
1032 |
I need angry fruit salad. Can't program without angry fruit salad!! |
2019-02-27 |
|
1083 |
I need a separate streaming PC. Windows is so bad, that you can't actually run multiple programs on the same computer. |
2019-07-21 |
|
121 |
I need a better anti-dude thing. |
2017-05-15 |
|
264 |
I missed the wall |
2017-12-25 |
|
543 |
I might want to go and #define DO_NOT_COMPILE_THIS_RIGHT_NOW_PLEASE in my list of defines. I can't do that if we're #if 0. |
2018-08-31 |
|
999 |
I might have to stop and be contemplative... while I'm debugging. |
2019-01-01 |
|
1146 |
I mean, who doesn't want a game where you slalom flowers? |
2019-09-02 |
|
1454 |
I mean, we would do Cowabunga, but due to a conspiracy, several of the letters in Cowabunga were not approved for use in hexadecimal number encoding. |
2023-07-12 |
|
1395 |
I mean, there's nothing wrong with a job at Applebees, that's real work. But if you wanted to be programming, it's not ideal. |
2021-02-24 |
|
1308 |
I mean Visual Studio is bad, but VSCode is like playschool Visual Studio. Like, I don't... I don't even... |
2020-08-29 |
|
1299 |
I mean I kind of 10% of the way want to make a Pepsiman sequel now. |
2020-07-01 |
|
321 |
I literally don't know how this is possible. |
2018-02-04 |
|
154 |
I liked The Witness. That was pretty good. |
2017-07-22 |
|
137 |
I like when a game doesn't put HUD crapplets. |
2017-06-06 |
|
66 |
I learned Mips assembly in college. That's some good stuff. Sort of. |
2017-02-05 |
|
111 |
I know! I know! I know! |
2017-03-26 |
|
757 |
I know you're supposed to use the wrist straps, but I'm not gonna use the wrist straps. I mean, come on. |
2018-10-01 |
|
1036 |
I know how to program! I went to two week coding boot camp! |
2019-02-28 |
|
1298 |
I kind of feel like the year 2021 is the year for a Pepsiman remake. |
2020-07-01 |
|
1176 |
I just wanted to do work today, and this is how computers reward me for that. |
2020-03-19 |
|
931 |
I just wanted a little more... you know, nade-age. |
2018-11-22 |
|
1323 |
I just want to compile a program. This is the simplest thing in programming. If you can't compile a program, you can't do programming. |
2020-10-04 |
|
730 |
I just wanna play a game. |
2018-09-30 |
|
405 |
I just turned the rant meter up to 10, and I'll burn out the rant batteries if I start talking about the Web. |
2018-05-28 |
|
1108 |
I just think I've been programming too much lately, because my brain literally was not even on for the past hour. |
2019-07-30 |
|
204 |
I just spilled tea on myself, which means it's time to end. |
2017-08-05 |
|
113 |
I just shouldn't have streamed today, because I'm too stupid today, period. |
2017-03-26 |
|
93 |
I just see a bunch of crap here. |
2017-02-06 |
|
109 |
I just have no idea. I'm ready to just give up and throw all my computers out the window. |
2017-03-25 |
|
278 |
I just had to set the bozo bit on a couple of people and stop replying to them. |
2018-01-10 |
|
921 |
I just don't play games for 12 year olds, so I'm not used to it. |
2018-11-18 |
|
739 |
I hope my streaming audience is entertained. |
2018-09-30 |
|
1167 |
I heard that Apple is doing okay, financially. I'm not sure if that's true. |
2019-12-09 |
|
1018 |
I heard C++ is a character in the next Mortal Kombat game, so have fun with that. |
2019-01-27 |
|
268 |
I have very finely honed coconut detection |
2017-12-25 |
|
353 |
I have this Notch here, so that's handy. |
2018-02-13 |
|
59 |
I have some things to say to Mr. OpenGL, and they're not happy nice things. |
2017-02-02 |
|
1127 |
I have no respect for linkers. |
2019-08-05 |
|
471 |
I have no problem spending months of work on something then taking it out later... In my opinion that's part of how you make things good. |
2018-06-06 |
|
446 |
I have a $4000 computer, faster than any other computer in history, and we can't display text of all colors. |
2018-06-01 |
|
1225 |
I hate to say it, we're going to have to delete our deletions, and start over. |
2020-05-02 |
|
1135 |
I had a plan. And a canal. Panama! |
2019-08-12 |
|
537 |
I guess indie game developers can't program anymore so you never see them programming. |
2018-08-30 |
|
269 |
I guess I should get a lot better at dodging rocks. |
2017-12-26 |
|
832 |
I gotta go to the bathroom and commence a drop operation. |
2018-10-15 |
|
1162 |
I give them an 8 out of 10 at trying to be Apple, packaging-wise. |
2019-12-03 |
|
878 |
I get more grumpy as I get tired, too. |
2018-10-20 |
|
249 |
I felt the micro-aggression involved in the statement |
2017-10-15 |
|
1115 |
I feel like we're just kicking the can up the stack. |
2019-07-31 |
|
820 |
I feel like they could have splurged on more than one X texture. |
2018-10-15 |
|
1190 |
I feel like I'm losing 50 IQ points per text. |
2020-04-12 |
|
962 |
I feel like I'm being Jebaited here. |
2018-12-12 |
|
100 |
I feel kind of slow and stupid today. |
2017-03-25 |
|
760 |
I failed because I didn't winch up the winch in giant spider land. |
2018-10-01 |
|
1320 |
I drink tea out of Winnie the Pooh mugs, which is not even legal in large parts of Asia. |
2020-10-01 |
|
754 |
I don't want to do my taxes, I want to play a game. |
2018-10-01 |
|
555 |
I don't want to do any of this, but we're morally obligated to do this. |
2018-09-01 |
|
468 |
I don't want to break what isn't broken. |
2018-06-06 |
|
293 |
I don't think I like Time Spy, honestly. |
2018-01-15 |
|
1390 |
I don't see anyone solving hard problems with a package manager. I see them pooping out Stack Overflow code. Show me the hard problems! |
2021-02-15 |
|
232 |
I don't see any questions in the chat. I guess that's because my amazing, error-free, daffed programming skills have been too quick for everybody so far, that's ok. *laughs* |
2017-08-16 |
|
422 |
I don't really drink beer...maybe sometimes I should, it might help me deal with this sort of thing |
2018-05-30 |
|
795 |
I don't play these noob games. |
2018-10-13 |
|
512 |
I don't need to play that. |
2018-08-25 |
|
653 |
I don't need a big house, I don't have a big family and I don't throw huge parties. |
2018-09-16 |
|
719 |
I don't like broken physics games. |
2018-09-30 |
|
69 |
I don't like anything about what Microsoft are doing these days. |
2017-02-05 |
|
834 |
I don't like answering questions about what my games are about, because the game tells you what it's about. The game is what it's about. |
2018-10-15 |
|
514 |
I don't know. These are the hard problems in programming. |
2018-08-27 |
|
1147 |
I don't know. I think i quit video games and go into financial management now. |
2019-09-02 |
|
1136 |
I don't know. $20 million isn't enough. That's only $4 million a year. I mean that's find when you're a youngster |
2019-08-14 |
|
475 |
I don't know why. I sorta know why. |
2018-06-19 |
|
1090 |
I don't know why you don't think our game works, because clearly 60% of the time it works all the time. |
2019-07-26 |
|
674 |
I don't know why people keep insisting that brunch and breakalunch are the same thing. They're not the same thing. |
2018-09-21 |
|
1166 |
I don't know which Visual Studio this is. |
2019-12-09 |
|
721 |
I don't know what's going on with computers. |
2018-09-30 |
|
773 |
I don't know what this is. "Sandstorm." It's got 133 million views. |
2018-10-11 |
|
165 |
I don't know what left is. |
2017-07-24 |
|
872 |
I don't know what it is about drinking a drink online, but that happens unusually much. |
2018-10-18 |
|
386 |
I don't know what false means, but it means something. |
2018-05-26 |
|
825 |
I don't know if you guys know this, but they're expecting a further collapse. |
2018-10-15 |
|
474 |
I don't know if the pickle armor is better than non-pickle |
2018-06-09 |
|
637 |
I don't know if it's faking it well or is actually good. |
2018-09-15 |
|
935 |
I don't know how people who use Photoshop don't commit suicide in droves. It's a PERFECTLY FINE program for 1992. |
2018-11-24 |
|
214 |
I don't know how much to care about that right now. |
2017-08-09 |
|
1246 |
I don't know how much happiness is worth. Isn't that the story of life? |
2020-05-12 |
|
1262 |
I don't know guys. I'm ready to give up on game development right now. It was a good run. |
2020-06-08 |
|
5 |
I don't hear any beep boop... |
2016-03-17 |
|
108 |
I don't hate it. |
2017-03-25 |
|
1202 |
I don't feel that our problem with computers right now is that our mobile bandwidth is not high enough. |
2020-04-18 |
|
971 |
I don't do Modern C++. I do Medieval C++. |
2018-12-23 |
|
276 |
I don't consider myself indie. I consider myself a videogame art person. |
2018-01-07 |
|
464 |
I do not accept Venezuelan chavismos. |
2018-06-03 |
|
905 |
I do have to think more like a gamer, it's true. I've gotta game harder. [starts opening wingsuit] Look, I'm gaming right now! |
2018-10-22 |
|
1198 |
I didn't pay thousands of dollars for this program to do your janitorial work for you. |
2020-04-18 |
|
734 |
I care about the stream quality. |
2018-09-30 |
|
1030 |
I can't watch super hero movies any more. If I'm ever going to still be a good programmer, especially in my older ages, I need to preserve my brain cells, you know what I'm saying? ... I can't keep killing them with super hero movies. |
2019-02-25 |
|
1286 |
I can't wait until this is done and I can start working on an operating system! |
2020-06-26 |
|
1210 |
I can't say "UB" except in sarcasm quotes, I'm sorry. |
2020-04-27 |
|
660 |
I can't even do Windows anymore. |
2018-09-20 |
|
796 |
I can't count. I can only computer program. |
2018-10-13 |
|
361 |
I can't believe we're in 2018 and I'm still spilling tea on my shirt. |
2018-04-01 |
|
1280 |
I can't believe people in chat are having a discussion about how long lines of code should be, maximum. What better way is there to prevent yourself from programming something useful and good that would help the world? |
2020-06-28 |
|
744 |
I can't alt-F4 the game. |
2018-09-30 |
|
925 |
I can happily announce that plans for today's 0-bagger have been cancelled. |
2018-11-19 |
|
290 |
I can do this with a superhack. |
2018-01-15 |
|
1418 |
I can at least retire knowing that I had Marvin in my video game. |
2021-09-07 |
|
1219 |
I can already feel today I'm at like about a 50% brainpower day. Which is not that bad. Like you can get a lot done on a 50% brainpower day, but I can already tell this is taking me longer to figure out than it should. |
2020-05-02 |
|
248 |
I can almost guarantee that there's going to be more problems, but it's lunch time, so... |
2017-10-04 |
|
389 |
I bet there's a woman in England somewhere named Constance Block [...] she's the patron saint of this program. |
2018-05-26 |
|
529 |
I bet Ignacio defined BSTR... Nope. No frickin' BSTR. Is that like something for The Beastmaster? |
2018-08-30 |
|
8 |
I avoid them, like I avoid all STDs in real life. |
2016-05-07 |
|
1141 |
I apologize, but it's the Web. |
2019-08-17 |
|
715 |
I am starting a stream. |
2018-09-29 |
|
1125 |
I am not a...person. |
2019-08-04 |
|
661 |
I am fired. |
2018-09-20 |
|
819 |
I am engaging in the "Unthinking Act of Murder." Thanks, game. |
2018-10-15 |
|
157 |
I am an influencer of poopdogs. Poopfluencer. It's like Neuromancer. |
2017-07-22 |
|
25 |
I always have a Casey Muratori in my head somewhere. |
2016-08-23 |
|
150 |
I already don't necessarily like this. |
2017-07-21 |
|
804 |
I actually had the presence of mind to SLIDE, how'd you like them apples? |
2018-10-13 |
|
547 |
How many people should get fired from that alone? |
2018-08-31 |
|
793 |
How many hit points is "vague blood splat at the side of the screen"? |
2018-10-13 |
|
827 |
How many collapses do you guys think there's gonna be? It's just such an unknown mystery. |
2018-10-15 |
|
656 |
How is three plus two eight? |
2018-09-16 |
|
414 |
How is them apples? Them apples, in my opinion, is better than the NHL finals. |
2018-05-29 |
|
479 |
How high do I have to be in order to go around that damn obstacle? |
2018-06-21 |
|
1116 |
How frickin' crazy is that? It's better than a real language. A real language wouldn't be this good. |
2019-07-24 |
|
189 |
How does anything work? |
2017-07-27 |
|
193 |
How do you go to a place like this and not have awesome caves? |
2017-07-28 |
|
1160 |
How do I only have hovering rock syndrome when time goes slow? |
2019-12-02 |
|
135 |
How do I jump out? That's communist. |
2017-06-03 |
|
96 |
How do I have 94 quotes already? We were at like 40 last week. |
2017-02-07 |
|
729 |
How do I end? |
2018-09-30 |
|
568 |
How did this ever work? |
2018-09-03 |
|
621 |
How did this ever work? |
2018-09-12 |
|
1046 |
How did they manage to make even the scrollbar hard to use? |
2019-04-06 |
|
415 |
How complete is the langauge on a scale of 0 to 100%? -463 + 115i + 3.1j + 2e17k. |
2018-05-29 |
|
859 |
How come the circle is outside the combat zone? That's a Jaded Mamba situation. |
2018-10-17 |
|
746 |
How come I can't walk there? Because there's a 1-inch high cube? ...Unreal Engine. |
2018-09-30 |
|
1380 |
How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat? |
2021-02-06 |
|
358 |
How are there 357 quotes? That's too many. |
2018-04-01 |
|
1310 |
How about if I go back to programming, like it says in the stream title. Wouldn't that be a good thing? For everybody. |
2020-09-07 |
|
84 |
Hot dogs are pretty important but they're not as important as putting text into the copy buffer. |
2017-02-06 |
|
789 |
Hopefully he's fixated on the package. |
2018-10-13 |
|
30 |
Hope is amazing when you can have it. |
2016-11-21 |
|
1287 |
Honestly I have way too much to do but I might, just as a learning experience, poke around and make try to make something boot in a VM sometime just to do it. Like, that would be fun. I really shouldn't do that. I have so many things to do. But like, oh my God, I'm so tired of everything. |
2020-06-26 |
|
170 |
Hey, thanks for the resub, buddy412! |
2017-07-25 |
|
231 |
Hey! Ok, we're back to the Land of Sanity. |
2017-08-16 |
|
513 |
Hey look, they have portals that look like the portals from Portal. |
2018-08-25 |
|
287 |
Hey look, I can't see anything! That's great! |
2018-01-15 |
|
1367 |
Hey kids, if you wanna succeed in the game industry, don't divide by zero sixteen times at the start of every function. That's just a pro tip for you. I mean you might feel the need to be thorough to divide by zero of all kinds of different sizes just to make sure that you get all the zeros. |
2021-01-14 |
|
169 |
Hey Hummus, did you win Stephen's Sausage Roll yet? Or are you a loser? |
2017-07-24 |
|
1460 |
Here's where we bust out the spicy meme. |
2024-01-06 |
|
131 |
Here we got the big SAILOR. |
2017-05-27 |
|
709 |
Here is the sauce. |
2018-09-25 |
|
1288 |
Hear me out here, my idea for an operating system is that it should be obvious and clear which window has the focus and will respond to your keyboard input, okay? I know this is a revolutionary idea, but I think it's time has come. |
2020-06-26 |
|
604 |
He's got the shakes. |
2018-09-05 |
|
318 |
He's behind the barrier with all the bullet holes in it. |
2018-02-04 |
|
806 |
He was a gamer. |
2018-10-13 |
|
1341 |
He should make it $300/hour. Then everybody will be rich. Why are politicians so stupid? Just make the minimum wage $300 an hour. Every single American will just make tons of money. Everyone will be happy. It's so easy to solve these problems. |
2020-11-07 |
|
633 |
He set up defensively and then as soon as I attacked him, he ran away. What kind of chicken man is that? |
2018-09-15 |
|
402 |
Have you ever heard of programming? It's this thing where sometimes you say while (1). |
2018-05-28 |
|
124 |
Guys, if this is your game, it has to be better than this. |
2017-05-17 |
|
1072 |
Green threads is the entity component system of 2016. |
2019-05-06 |
|
286 |
Graphics programming is just a giant disaster. It's so terrible. I'm sorry. |
2018-01-15 |
|
1393 |
Grapefruit is gross. I don't understand why anyone would ever eat a grapefruit. It doesn't make any sense to me. |
2021-02-23 |
|
1103 |
Good news everybody. We are now indexing a nil value, which is how you know we've really been doing some work. |
2019-07-30 |
|
906 |
God, this thing steers like a cow. Like a drunken cow! |
2018-10-23 |
|
745 |
God, there's so many crystals! |
2018-09-30 |
|
866 |
Go people are so ridiculous for not putting assert. |
2018-10-18 |
|
805 |
Go go gadget vehicle. |
2018-10-13 |
|
395 |
Go go gadget thinger. |
2018-05-26 |
|
368 |
Go down the tube? I tried to go down the tube. I doesn't go anywhere! |
2018-05-19 |
|
236 |
Given the state of videogame journalism these days, I wouldn't be surprised if some announcement actually happens that I'm working on Knack 3. I don't wanna cause trouble. *laughs* |
2017-08-16 |
|
420 |
Given that it's 35 megabytes, it better have a linker in there somewhere. |
2018-05-30 |
|
1011 |
Ghostbusters is not a good movie. I hate to say it. I hate to say it! |
2019-01-06 |
|
436 |
Ghchildstrinrd... Ghchildstrinwr... |
2018-05-30 |
|
210 |
Gggnaaah! I don't care it's a TV show |
2017-08-08 |
|
554 |
Generally, the people who make snippy remarks to me on Twitter do not have the level of social bravery to say those things to me in real life. |
2018-08-31 |
|
456 |
Game of Throwbacks. |
2018-06-02 |
|
1302 |
Game development consists 100% of problems in the most generic sense. |
2020-08-07 |
|
126 |
Gah, the interface! [shoots in-game computer screen with shotgun] |
2017-05-18 |
|
731 |
Gabe!!! |
2018-09-30 |
|
463 |
GAAHH, Visual Studio just jumped on my butt. |
2018-06-03 |
|
1001 |
Fullstack means web, and web means bad. |
2019-01-01 |
|
1051 |
Full-time streamer. I'm gonna play Apex Legends and Dota 2 Autochess. I'm gonna dye my hair blue and have a bunch of 12-year-olds as my audience. |
2019-04-09 |
|
89 |
Frog Fractions 2 should have had Fez 2 in it. That would have been quality. |
2017-02-06 |
|
1038 |
Fricking orcs. Orcs are bad. |
2019-03-02 |
|
587 |
Frickin' frackin' release the kraken. |
2018-09-03 |
|
1158 |
Freedom isn't free, it costs a buck-o-nine, as you know. |
2019-11-29 |
|
1414 |
Fourteen lines of code. That is 1.4 industry standard work days that we just wrote and then deleted. GGs! |
2021-07-15 |
|
1069 |
For game play purposes, you don't want people to feel super constipated all the time. |
2019-04-26 |
|
418 |
FizzBuzz is the brown M&Ms of programming. |
2018-05-29 |
|
755 |
Five waves?? What is this, a Nintendo boss battle? Jesus. |
2018-10-01 |
|
619 |
Fiddlesticks! |
2018-09-12 |
|
785 |
Feels bad man. |
2018-10-12 |
|
1425 |
Fact check this pizza! |
2021-11-25 |
|
983 |
Everything is so screwed and there's so little I can do about it. |
2019-01-01 |
|
1422 |
Everyone's worried about AI taking over, ... but magic wands in all these programs suck. |
2021-10-09 |
|
1347 |
Everybody, that is the state of gaming on Linux: Pascal Penguin. |
2020-11-28 |
|
714 |
Everybody's not even just a two-year-old, they're a stupid two-year-old. |
2018-09-29 |
|
713 |
Everybody's a two-year-old again all of a sudden. |
2018-09-29 |
|
328 |
Everybody is fired. F-I-R-E-D. |
2018-02-05 |
|
220 |
Every time somebody asks why I'm using SVN, I die a little bit inside. Because it should be obvious. |
2017-08-12 |
|
166 |
Every life matters. [Runs over an enemy player] |
2017-07-24 |
|
1085 |
Every editor based on Eclipse cannot open a 4mb file. I'm not surprised. I mean, who would *ever* have a file as large as 4 megabytes? That's just ridiculous? What are you even thinking? Why would you put four million bytes into the same file? Everybody knows that if you're programming, each file is supposed to have at most 100 lines of code, and then you're supposed to have 30,000 files. That's the understandable way to make your program. Don't you know anything? |
2019-07-21 |
|
283 |
Engineering is about understanding what's going on. |
2018-01-13 |
|
558 |
Emacs, the editor of 2027. |
2018-09-02 |
|
1063 |
Emacs seems like the American space program in the 1990s and 2000s. |
2019-04-16 |
|
759 |
Dude. What is your major malfunction? |
2018-10-01 |
|
1255 |
Dude, we have so many if statements here, we just need to burn down most of them. This is crazy. |
2020-06-03 |
|
776 |
Dude, this level looks rough. |
2018-10-12 |
|
876 |
Dude, serious Peter Pan-ing in the shadowmap. |
2018-10-20 |
|
917 |
Dude, it's like I'm talking to a college sophomore or something. |
2018-11-18 |
|
1173 |
Dude, isn't that going to be terrible? At some point, if game programming is unionized, there'll be a thing that says you CAN'T do more than 10 lines of code a day. |
2020-01-02 |
|
873 |
Dude, how can a walking simulator make me want to punch my monitor? |
2018-10-20 |
|
1131 |
Dude, When I was 20, I didn't feel that young, but 20 is so young, dude, oh my god. If I could go be 20 again but know what I know now, I would probably still program a lot. |
2019-08-11 |
|
101 |
Dude, Photoshop sucks. |
2017-03-25 |
|
302 |
Dude, Mickey Mouse is going to be public domain in two years |
2018-01-27 |
|
950 |
Dude, Javascript is the best programming language in the world because the dough's so good, because of the New York water. |
2018-12-03 |
|
814 |
Dude, I'm getting owned! It's like people are good at this game all of a sudden. |
2018-10-15 |
|
798 |
Dude, I took my boat to the boat club! |
2018-10-13 |
|
816 |
Dude, I shot that guy around the corner. You know what I'm saying? That was not legit. That was a fuckin' 10-tick-server situation if I ever saw one. |
2018-10-15 |
|
1433 |
Dude, I own the company. If people aren't going to read that comment, they don't have a job. You don't understand. |
2022-05-08 |
|
548 |
Dude, I have so little patience for these problems, now that I use a language that doesn't have them. |
2018-08-31 |
|
914 |
Dude, I hate this game! |
2018-11-12 |
|
1052 |
Dude, I gotta write an operating system! |
2019-04-09 |
|
431 |
Dude, I don't even want to decode this with my brain to figure out what you're doing. |
2018-05-30 |
|
902 |
Dude, Elite Lounge, it's poppin'! It's got green frogs! |
2018-10-22 |
|
1016 |
Dude! If fputs behaves differently than puts, then I'm not gonna use it out of sheer principle. |
2019-01-07 |
|
88 |
Dude Unicode is a disaster, I think it needs to be destroyed. |
2017-02-06 |
|
120 |
Drinkin' some tea out of the toilet. |
2017-05-15 |
|
951 |
Drag, baby! |
2018-12-03 |
|
1082 |
Doxygen is not ok. |
2019-07-04 |
|
175 |
Donald Trump wants me to use the M16. |
2017-07-25 |
|
1317 |
Don't you know I went to the Black Dynamite School of Elevator Programming? |
2020-09-30 |
|
1098 |
Don't write garbage software, and your software won't have to get collected. |
2019-07-29 |
|
1086 |
Don't punish people for exploring! |
2019-07-21 |
|
926 |
Don't play like it's PUBG, play like it's COD. |
2018-11-19 |
|
1376 |
Don't make mistakes. They are costly! |
2021-01-22 |
|
877 |
Don't make me punch you, particles. |
2018-10-20 |
|
132 |
Don't get distracted. |
2017-05-27 |
|
522 |
Don't ever copy code off of the Web and expect that it's correct, StackOverflow people. |
2018-08-30 |
|
485 |
Don't assume you should be motivated. If you're not motivated you should be finding something you can be motivated about. |
2018-07-25 |
|
308 |
Don't PUBG me here. Don't PUBG me here!! |
2018-01-29 |
|
1054 |
Doing good work on the modern Internet involves ignoring a lot of people. |
2019-04-12 |
|
594 |
Does your workaround cause so many workarounds that you shouldn't do it anymore? |
2018-09-04 |
|
533 |
Does this mean I return an IID? I don't know. They don't speak English here at Microsoft. |
2018-08-30 |
|
123 |
Doctor Yu... No, Doctor Me! |
2017-05-16 |
|
1432 |
Do you know any other programming stream on twitch dot tv where they put the lotion in the basket so consistently? I think not. |
2022-05-08 |
|
1251 |
Do we support nullable types? Why yes, you can set pointers to null! |
2020-05-28 |
|
1274 |
Do I like games that would be played by people from the Idiocracy? Not really. |
2020-06-19 |
|
299 |
Did I change something that fixed something, or is it just a bug? |
2018-01-16 |
|
372 |
Decibels are a useless, dumb thing that I don't uderstand why anybody measures things that way. It's my number one pet peeve in life. |
2018-05-25 |
|
1114 |
Debug mode is like Depeche Mode, but slower. Debug mode is like Depeche Mode covered by Neu. |
2019-07-31 |
|
455 |
Dammit, why do people do work?!? |
2018-06-02 |
|
843 |
Dabrep. |
2018-10-16 |
|
233 |
DOLLAR_SIGN... The things I do to get indentation. |
2017-08-16 |
|
545 |
DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Print()s. |
2018-08-31 |
|
1423 |
Crystal slot, that's the name of my new band. |
2021-10-27 |
|
1365 |
Cpp is a programming language. It is named after the C programming language, but it's like when you're using C but you also really have to go to the bathroom, that's when you use cpp. |
2020-12-14 |
|
136 |
Covfefe is hiding in here. |
2017-06-05 |
|
932 |
Could be a big bag of baggers. |
2018-11-22 |
|
1155 |
Coroutines are great until they're not, at which point they're horrible. |
2019-11-02 |
|
695 |
Copy, paste, crash. |
2018-09-24 |
|
1157 |
Computers can do tens of things - it's the year 2020. Although the Windows console is kinda slow. |
2019-11-16 |
|
970 |
Computers are wasting your time every day, all the time, forever. |
2018-12-22 |
|
1168 |
Computers are over. |
2019-12-31 |
|
996 |
Computer people are weird to begin with, and they don't have social skills, and whatever. |
2019-01-01 |
|
385 |
Compiling in one second is pretty good, but you know we have standards here. |
2018-05-26 |
|
1019 |
Come on laptop! I only paid $4000 for you. |
2019-01-27 |
|
992 |
Civilization is declining, is basically what's happening. |
2019-01-01 |
|
498 |
Charlie took a lot of drugs. |
2018-08-04 |
|
117 |
Change or remove a program... RenderDoc... Uninstall. Goodbye. |
2017-03-26 |
|
895 |
Casey won't show me the game. He's a very stubborn person. |
2018-10-22 |
|
327 |
Captain America is not supported in the current profile. |
2018-02-05 |
|
1106 |
Can somebody teach me programming languages? |
2019-07-30 |
|
1461 |
Callbacks are for people who don't want their programs to run smoothly. |
2024-01-14 |
|
1068 |
Call this group the end-zone, which is different from a friend-zone, but not that different. |
2019-04-26 |
|
923 |
Cable tension is dangerous business. |
2018-11-18 |
|
750 |
CAST THE SPELL! God fuckin'... |
2018-09-30 |
|
1169 |
C++ is the king of bad names for standard components. |
2019-12-31 |
|
28 |
C++ can't do this. But we can do that. We can totally do that. |
2016-09-01 |
|
628 |
C#... it's not the worst. A little too much Unity, but we could do it. |
2018-09-14 |
|
1291 |
C is what you retreat to after you've been too badly abused by C++. |
2020-07-10 |
|
338 |
C ... Windows ... System32 ... Notepad! I should've guessed, it's not a program, it's notepad! |
2018-02-06 |
|
306 |
Bye, twitch dot tv slash viewers! |
2018-01-28 |
|
171 |
Bye, stream channel watchers! |
2017-07-25 |
|
1110 |
By the time you report an error, you've given up on life. |
2019-07-31 |
|
1337 |
But if you had nullable non-nullable types and algebraic mafingamabobbers then the manifold of the closure of the monad would have euler number 6. |
2020-10-29 |
|
542 |
Business is a separate thing from what's good software. |
2018-08-31 |
|
1349 |
Bug fixing makes me hungry. |
2020-11-29 |
|
1440 |
Bro, we shipped Braid on Linux. It was a f_ing disaster. It's a huge a mount of effort - it's like the most high-maintenance girlfriend ever, except she also hates you. Is she hot, though? No! No. She looks like a penguin. |
2022-11-16 |
|
860 |
Breaker one nine, the mamba is jaded, over. |
2018-10-17 |
|
79 |
Boy, I sure am getting a lot of quotes added lately. |
2017-02-06 |
|
491 |
Blue rocks can be good news. |
2018-07-30 |
|
848 |
Binding of Oscar Isaac music. |
2018-10-17 |
|
229 |
Believe me: there's no end to compiler bugs. |
2017-08-15 |
|
104 |
Being lazy is a little bit of a skillset sometimes. |
2017-03-25 |
|
684 |
Because you know what, computers are fast! (If you're not running in a web browser.) |
2018-09-22 |
|
703 |
Because only kids knew how to set the VCR, now there's no respect for the older generation at all. |
2018-09-24 |
|
565 |
Because it's C++, we have to redundantly babysit the compiler and hate programming. |
2018-09-02 |
|
1177 |
Beam turd |
2020-03-20 |
|
186 |
Be willing to do something seven times in order to get it right, and that'll make you a really good programmer. |
2017-07-27 |
|
972 |
Be better. |
2018-12-23 |
|
737 |
Bank, bank, bank. |
2018-09-30 |
|
1399 |
Back in the mists of time, the great programmers of the past understood these issues and the lame programmers of today, including me forgot. |
2021-02-28 |
|
1170 |
Baby Yoda is not going to succeed in the game industry. |
2019-12-31 |
|
37 |
BOOM Headshot. |
2017-01-22 |
|
606 |
Awwwww, my tea's cold. |
2018-09-05 |
|
823 |
Aw, just put some Call of Duty shit in there, it'll make sense. Those kids don't know what they're doing anyway. |
2018-10-15 |
|
277 |
Aw, I blued myself again! |
2018-01-07 |
|
510 |
At times like this when the going gets tough... the going gets more solar panels. |
2018-08-13 |
|
1171 |
At this point I may have channeled all the wisdom that I know how to give about how to succeed in the game industry. |
2019-12-31 |
|
1150 |
At some point we're going to rewrite all this. It might not be before shipping the game. |
2019-10-03 |
|
1254 |
At least it crashes really fast. |
2020-05-31 |
|
177 |
At 9:00 I'll probably do a snack run to Whole Foods so I don't starve tonight. |
2017-07-26 |
|
141 |
Assert-Lambda! That's the name of my new band. |
2017-06-26 |
|
44 |
As soon as they put logo on duct tape, I will quit computing forever. |
2017-01-26 |
|
989 |
As long as I can say I'm kicking off another process, I don't care that much, and I can go eat my Cheetos and go home. That's most web people. |
2019-01-01 |
|
199 |
As far as I'm concerned, it's a little bit of an unsolved problem in computing. |
2017-08-03 |
|
800 |
Apparently I can't do things that are not that ambitious. |
2018-10-13 |
|
916 |
Anytime you say "cached_" anything, it's a little bit scary. |
2018-11-12 |
|
1134 |
Any time you can speed up your program by a factor of 20, you did a good job that day. It maybe because you did a bad job on previous days, but you did a good job that day when you sped your program up by 20...if it's still correct. |
2019-08-12 |
|
1401 |
Any time you can put less stuff in your level, it's probably a good idea. |
2021-03-06 |
|
458 |
Any time you can get rid of 0.025% of the compiler, that is a good day. |
2018-06-02 |
|
518 |
Any school that teaches UML diagrams needs to be shot out of a cannon. |
2018-08-27 |
|
939 |
Any games I'm looking forward to? Hmm... Stephen's Sausage Roll 2... Stephen's Sausage Roll 3, Stephen's Sausage Roll 4... and Mountain King 2. |
2018-11-24 |
|
1457 |
Any game where you have a Tetris squiggle can't be all bad. |
2023-11-12 |
|
788 |
Any game where you can concuss yourself and still win is a good game. |
2018-10-13 |
|
1 |
And then... no, I ran the wrong thing again! |
2016-03-02 |
|
133 |
And the reason you'd do that is because "oh, maybe you'll bind something to the global namespace" but no, fu-- no... |
2017-05-27 |
|
1456 |
And always remember, if you want to succeed in the games industry, compare the variable against minus one. |
2023-08-13 |
|
1361 |
And C++ just said "Hold my beer" and made a ton of extremely more unfortunate decisions. |
2020-12-06 |
|
538 |
An enumerator is a thing that enumerates, guys. Holy fuck... |
2018-08-30 |
|
48 |
Am I stupid?! |
2017-01-28 |
|
480 |
Am I completely out of water? Or just mostly out of water? |
2018-06-24 |
|
505 |
Alright, that is not a correct exapunking. |
2018-08-10 |
|
861 |
Alright, now which mamba are we gonna jade? |
2018-10-17 |
|
609 |
Almost no programmers work higher than 10-20% of what they're actually capable of. I'm not saying that as a diss, it's a widespread problem. |
2018-09-05 |
|
1313 |
All you have to do to make assert work is look up the spec for a file format and type in a ton of definitions. And then you can assert. That is how software works. You can't assert unless you do that. |
2020-09-24 |
|
1185 |
All journalists are tabloid journalists these days, broh. |
2020-03-28 |
|
7 |
All bits are lit. |
2016-03-17 |
|
573 |
All a monad is is typechecking. It's an abstraction barrier that enforces a wall between one part of your program and another. That's, like, the only thing I can tell that it is. It's like what you already have in C++ all the time. It's literally nothing. |
2018-09-03 |
|
1258 |
All I want to be able to do is output a red pixel from a particle. That is all that I want to be able to do and it's going to take an hour and that's why programming is bad. |
2020-06-07 |
|
915 |
Aim for the head and play like you own the place. |
2018-11-12 |
|
413 |
Against my better judgement, I'm having tea with caffeine at 7 PM. |
2018-05-29 |
|
764 |
Advanced does nothing when I click on it. That's not very advanced. |
2018-10-04 |
|
86 |
According to this, i'm doing really bad stuff all the time. |
2017-02-06 |
|
260 |
AHHHH EGGS! I hate you, eggs. |
2017-12-06 |
|
482 |
A minimalist puzzle game. Nobody's gonna buy this. |
2018-07-19 |
|
401 |
A lot of people would ask, "Why are you not using templates for this," and the answer is... bleehh. |
2018-05-28 |
|
262 |
78 people watching? Okay, I'll try to be less grouchy. It's easy to be grouchy when I'm playing videogames! |
2017-12-23 |
|
1218 |
32-bit numbers seem so small now.! They're so quaint. |
2020-05-02 |
|
1329 |
128 bit boolean! I mean, sometimes you need to make sure that you have enough digits of accuracy in your boolean. That's just how it is. |
2020-10-17 |
|
462 |
1080P MY ASS |
2018-06-02 |
|
1133 |
0.2 Witnesses is still a substantial amount of work, but it's tractable. |
2019-08-12 |
|
457 |
// Ignacio did not implement this so now he is going to be sorry. |
2018-06-02 |
|
756 |
...or an indie game boss battle from a game you downloaded on TIGSource. |
2018-10-01 |
|
459 |
...and we will start programming, instead of this question and answer nonsense |
2018-06-02 |
|
394 |
*crash* Oh, there goes the eye tracker. |
2018-05-26 |
|
295 |
'Searching for file contents could be slow?' You just advertised to me that you were the fastest-- ...Software is so hopeless. |
2018-01-15 |
|
281 |
'Does this guy ever interact with chat?' Thanks for the 12-month resub, ResonatorGames! |
2018-01-13 |
|
194 |
"is this a gun that shoots bullets?" - Casey, 27.7.17. |
2017-07-28 |
|
1008 |
"Windows is stinky" is the conclusion we're coming to. |
2019-01-06 |
|
578 |
"When will this be done?" When it's done. |
2018-09-03 |
|
890 |
"What is my keyboard/monitor?" uhh, I use a computer. And a monitor. |
2018-10-22 |
|
550 |
"This string can be interpreted in a number of ways." As soon as you have to write that in your documentation, you have failed. |
2018-08-31 |
|
662 |
"Svn blame", they should call it "Svn this person is fired". |
2018-09-20 |
|
450 |
"Semicolon expected after a declaration" is the name of my new band. |
2018-06-02 |
|
1328 |
"Return Return". That's the name of my new programming language. |
2020-10-17 |
|
1102 |
"Protobufs never halt". That's the name of the new James Bond Movie. |
2019-07-29 |
|
1391 |
"Pitch" just reminds me of the black tar of code that I do not want to get stuck in. |
2021-02-23 |
|
461 |
"Lexical Extent" is the name of my new band. |
2018-06-02 |
|
561 |
"Lep's World 2" sounds like a racist game. |
2018-09-02 |
|
1327 |
"Index Index" is the name of my new band. |
2020-10-17 |
|
584 |
"How many books on the shelf are about web development?" I'm pretty sure the answer is exactly zero. I doubt that a web development book has snuck in, but it's possible. |
2018-09-03 |
|
566 |
"How did that happen?" you may ask. "I don't know," I may answer. |
2018-09-02 |
|
580 |
"How big of a quality-of-life improvement has the language been?" Massive, because I'm actually happy when I program now. |
2018-09-03 |
|
585 |
"Can you name *anything* that the web does that is actually sane and possibly even good?" ... [30 seconds later] ...I'm having a hard time with that question. |
2018-09-03 |
|
490 |
"COMEFROM is your favourite programming joke ever," EXCEPT... C++ has come-from in it. Non-ironically. And people think it's useful and use it all the time. |
2018-07-29 |
|
449 |
"Buy me coffee." That's... presumptuous. |
2018-06-01 |
|
768 |
"Being self-employed in the US, how does health insurance work?" Well, you just get health insurance. |
2018-10-11 |
|
1403 |
"Bad Signature" is the name of my new band. |
2021-03-16 |
|